#until finally at the end I went over a slope and coming down I saw what looked like the Mariokart finish line

[je-mappelle-sloppy-tomato]

I was going to say the most terrifying dream I ever had but I feel kinda stupid about it now

What's the weirdest dream/nightmare you've had?

Pukicho story time???

This happened in 2004, I lived in Ireland. I had one very particular dream that I still often think about to this day:

It started in an unusual flat, somewhere up high. It was modern for the time, it felt decidedly Y2K. Every piece of furniture, the walls, the lamps, they were all bright pink. It was so trendy that it almost felt like a parody of itself, but I was a kid, and my mind wasn't clever enough for the act of parody. I would've simply forgotten this flat ever existed if the latter-half of the dream didn't leave such a permanent mark on my memory - now I can recall every last detail.

I asked a stranger to use the restroom. The toilet was downstairs, so I opened up the door to a utility stairwell and began heading down, alone.

I could look through the center of the staircase column, it was pitch-black and there was no visible bottom. I remember going down the staircase for hours, literal hours - A dark, oppressive hum from pipes and vents blinded my ears and shook the inside of my stomach with its volume. I remember thinking how long the dream felt in this moment, I recall getting consciously impatient, but I kept going. My eyes couldn't adjust to the nearly invisible-darkness surrounding me so I put my hand against the walls and handrail for guidance and shuffled downward like a blind man without his walking-stick.

Finally, only a moment before the tension would have juddered me awake, I found the door to the bathroom. I opened it up; to my relief there was light. The room was rectangular, on one end was a boxed-shaped shower with fogged glass, on the other end, a toilet. The floor and wall were decorated by the same beige tile - it all looked hastily plastered. I sat down to do my business. At this moment, the ballooning anxiety I had felt outside had dissipated almost entirely. I sat in silence and I remember acknowledging the sheer contrast in volume between the AC-hum in the bathroom to the oppressive roar from the stairwell.

It was good to be sitting there. I remember feeling as though the dream had been slowly growing into a nightmare - but consciously, everything felt right again. Nothing happened for a long time. It was so boring and tame that my mind stopped focusing on the dream entirely, and I began fading into memoryless sleep. And then the lights went out.

At this point, sitting in a darkness even blacker than the one I had just emerged from, not even a hum could be heard. The only noise I could hear, and just barely, was my own brain-matter hitting against the sides of my ears, bellowing a deep subharmonic hum from within my own skull. Suddenly, every semblance of safety was ripped from my chest, and I sat there, feeling in greater danger than I ever had before. I felt a pressure so omniscient that it choked me -- but nothing came, nothing happened. I waited for minutes - minutes where each second could be counted down in scrutinizing specificity, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, and with no presumption, I felt coarse electricity pumping through my chest. I wrangled with myself in my own bed, feeling what felt like infinite pain pass through me. I could feel myself yelling from within the dream through the vibrations of my lungs. A cacophonous buzzing bled into my ears as thousands of people screamed from within my skull. The cries of a falling choir ran-through their screams, like angels falling from heaven.

At the very same moment, a body appeared in the shower. It glowed yellow, so bright and irradiated I could hardly look directly at it. It caressed itself, clawing into its body like it was reeling from immeasurable pain. It moved unnaturally, squirming and spasming as if fast-forwarded. The glass blurred its details, but it did nothing to mask its energy. It was as if this being held the sun inside of its stomach. I felt as though an intruder entered my own mind and I had no power to stop it. Just being near it was enough to kill me, and I was already dying.

The wall of sound lasted not even one full-second - and then - a piercing zap shot me up from my bed, and that was it. I can't remember anything past that point, but I assume I went back to bed shortly thereafter, forgetting what had just happened, if only for that one night. I must had a vapid dream, worthless and memoryless, unknowing that I had just lived a dream so dreadful that it'd stick to my psyche like tar for the rest of my life.

No other dream has ever felt that way since. It was as if a second-soul decided to visit me, a soul stronger and more omnipotent than mine. Surely a dream is just a dream, regardless of the feeling it gives you, but now I go to bed every night, wishing I'll be the only soul residing within its story.

End!!

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 13:

But I come back stronger than a ‘90s trend…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Charles POV:

I only had one thing on my mind when we came back into our chalet after a long day on the slopes: Hot Tub. I went straight into our room and looked for my swim shorts as Lizzie walked in.

"Someone is eager…" she chuckled and I walked into the en suite bathroom, leaving the door a crack wide open.

"That hot tub isn’t the biggest! And I want to relax a little before it gets too crowded or before I have to get out!" I said and walked back into our room, fluffy towel in hand, swim shorts on.

"Good point! Go ahead and make sure I have a seat… does it have seats?" she said and I laughed.

"I’ll take care, ma belle. Don’t worry. We’ll have enough space!"

We didn’t have enough space. The hot tub was made for 4 people max. and as JK, Joris and Andrea squeezed in, it got way too crowded. I pulled Lizzie against me, to make her sit at least a little more comfortable but somehow she ended up almost in my lap. I swallowed hard as I could feel her thighs pressing against mine. Her back flush with my chest. I tried to focus on breathing but having her this close, pressed to my body, half naked, made me almost dizzy. I felt like a pubescent teenager that couldn’t control his body. After a while Joris and JK began to yawn, Lizzie followed shortly after.

"I think that’s it for today, I’m out! Cheers guys, have a good night!" JK said and Lizzie and Joris got out as well, they wrapped their towels around them and prepared to leave, as Lizzie turned around looking at me.

"You guys go ahead, I’m staying a little longer, good night!" I said and they wished us a good night, then it was only Andrea and me left. He looked at me while I was squirming in my seat, feeling uncomfortable.

"You can go as well, if you want to… I’ll be fine!" I tried to sound nonchalant but failed.

"Charles? Aren’t you getting out because… because you have a… umm- a little situation down there…" Andrea chuckled and I blushed. Hard. "Okay. Then… good night. Sleep tight. Oh god no! I guess it’s already tight. I mean, sleep well!"

"Just go!! Jesus fucking Christ!" I groaned and Andrea laughed the whole way back in. What the actual fuck.

"There you are! I was looking for you! It’s almost midnight!" I said as I finally found Lizzie. Alone. Sitting on the terrace edge.

"I guess I lost a little track of time." she answered, not looking up.

"What’s going on?" I ask and sit down next to her. As I looked at her I saw tears in her eyes. "Hey! What’s going on!"

"Can you believe what happened this year?" she whispered and looked up into the sky.

"Yeah, I can… because for me it was just a matter of time until a team finally acknowledged your potential and offered you a seat…" I answered and she chuckled a little "What?"

"You always had this undying hope in me… I think I never thanked you for that?" she looked at me and I shook my head.

"Because you don’t have to. Did I ever thank you for being… for being my anchor?" I said.

"Your anchor?" she asked curiously, tilting her head, looking adorably confused.

"My anchor. You’re always by my side, no matter what. Even when staying close meant getting hurt in the process, over and over again. You never left. I can rely on you. I can always count on your support. You give me stability, security. But above all, you gave me hope in times when I needed it the most. You’re anchoring me whenever I have the feeling that all of this… this shit drags me away…" I tried to explain it as best as possible, although I knew that words would never be enough to explain to her how much I needed her in my life.

"Well, then I guess you’re my anchor, too." she said and I shook my head.

"No, ma belle. I have to step up a lot to be an anchor for you the way you are for me." I said.

"I don’t think so…" she smiled at me.

Behind us I could hear our family and friends count down and as the clock struck midnight the fireworks were lighting up the sky.

"Happy New Year, ma belle!"

"Happy New Year, Charlie bear!"

I pulled her into my side and kissed her temple.

This was going to be our year.

Lizzie would finally drive in Formula 1.

I would hopefully bring Ferrari back to its old glory.

And most importantly, this year I would make her mine.

"So, uhm, there is something I wanted to talk to you about…" I said and Charles paused the episode of Brooklyn 99 and looked at me.

"Okay? Everything alright?" he asked and sat up straight. I just nodded.

"It’s… well I got the call from Felix… so the FIA were asking about my… about my driver number…" I said and whispered the last words.

"Your driver number? What’s with it?" he seemed confused and I swallowed hard.

"You know, now that Kimi retired, the 7 would be available…" I began and Charles realised what I was on about "And I wondered if it would be okay for you, if I take it?"

"Oh ma belle! Of course it is? For me it was clear as day that you would choose the 7? It’s our number? Always was, always will be!" he laughed and I relaxed a little, sighed relieved "You didn’t have to ask, you know?"

"It’s just… I know how you wanted the 7, but couldn’t have it…" I mumbled and Charles pulled me into his side.

"I would love nothing more than for you to have it, ma belle!" he said and kissed my temple, then started the TV again.

"Now look a bit more intimidating, yes! Perfect!" the Photographer said and I posed for another 15 minutes until he finally was satisfied "I’d say we have a lot of footage to work with! Thanks Lizzie!"

"How do you like the suits?" Felix asked and I smiled at him.

"I absolutely love them!" I say and he smiles.

"So you and Valtteri will decide which one you’re having. He should be here any minute and then you can discuss." and right as Felix finished, the Finnish driver walked up the set.

I was nervous, to say the least. I’ve seen Valtteri before, obviously, but today was our first official meeting as teammates. And there was a lot on our agenda today.

"Valtteri, hi, umm it’s so cool to meet you, like officially! Umm I’m Lizzie, hi!" I ramble a little and stretch my hand out and he takes it smiling.

"Lizzie, good to see you, again." he shook my hand and I smiled, thankful that he was pretending like I wasn’t a nervous mess "So, how do you like the suits? Which one is your favourite?" he takes the sheet Felix hands him, then I’ll take mine.

"I like the second one more, I like the flow of the, let’s call them arrows, down the legs. Looks more active, you know what I mean?" I said and Valtteri nodded "Which one do you prefer?"

"The second one as well. I like the details at the legs, the other one is a bit boring. So yeah, I’ll vote for… AF1/XPERformance…" he said and I smiled.

"Alright you guys, then Valtteri hop on in and then you’ll have some more photo shoots." Felix clapped and walked off to talk to the Photographer.

"So, the flag of Monaco?" Valtteri asked and shook his head in the direction where I just laid the document on the table.

"Yeah, it’s a little tribute." I answered and Valtteri smiled.

"I get that people often think that you guys are a couple." he laughed and I blushed a little.

"It’s not just for Charles, it’s also for his dad. He never had a doubt that I would make it in F1 one day. And since he’s not here anymore. I’ll carry the flag of his beloved home with me, for him and Charles." I said and Valtteri nodded.

"That’s really beautiful." he smiled and I zipped up my suit.

"And we're done. Thank you guys!" George, our Photographer said and clicked through the pictures "Yeah we have more than enough. Good job everyone!"

"Alright, sit down, have a drink, Julie should be here any minute now." Felix said and Valtteri poured himself a coffee and gestured into my way and I just shook my head.

"Who’s Julie?" I ask as a young woman walks up behind Felix.

"That’s me. Hi. I’m Julie Mahle. PR-Manager, Content creator and your personal PR-Assistant at race weekends. Nice to meet you, Lizzie!" she says and she shakes my hand, then she walks to Valtteri and does the same "The next days we will film 2 Audi challenges, that’s little completions between you guys that we upload on our channels to entertain our fans in between races. We will have 10 over the course of the whole season. Tomorrow, after the big car launch, we will also have an Instagram live Q&A with you guys."

Valtteri and I nodded and looked at the plan Julie gave us. The Audi challenges seem to be funny and I was already excited to film them. Tomorrow we would start with a ‘What’s in the Box' segment and I laughed, thinking back to my PREMA times when Charles almost lost it when he touched something that felt like a real snake but was in fact only a rubber one.

"Sounds fun!" I said and Julie smiled "I’m sorry Valtteri, but I’m going to crush you…"

"Oh wow! We’re starting the competition early on, I see!" he chuckled and nudged my shoulder.

"I had a long time with nothing to compete in… so now I’m overcompensating I guess!" I laughed and he nodded.

"May the better driver win!" he said.

"Don’t, worry, I’ll plan to!" I smirked at him and he laughed.

"I’m nervous! Like really, really nervous Charlie! I think I will throw up!" I murmured and Charles only chuckled.

"It’s going to be fine, you’ll see! You go out on stage! You wave a little, answer some questions, say something about the car, they will take pictures and then it’s done!" he encouraged me and I nodded.

"I didn’t think the car launch would be this stressful already!" I whined "I bet my ass that there are at least 15 journalists who hate me and can’t wait to ask me questions to destroy me…"

"Just smile that gorgeous smile of yours and they will love you anyway!" Charles said and I smiled at him.

"Lizzie? Are you ready?" Julie walked up to me, Valtteri in tow.

"I have to leave, I’ll call you tonight?" I said to Charles and he nodded.

"Have fun, ma belle!" he said and ended the call.

"And now Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to our two drivers: Lizzie Doetterer and Valtteri Bottas!" Felix said and with one last deep breath I entered the stage, followed by Valtteri. I waved to the crowd, smiling as best as I could without looking too tense. The applause died down as I stood next to Felix.

"When we decided to make our move into F1 way earlier than planned, we had a close eye on the drivers that would be available for our line-up. One thing was for sure for all of us: we wanted an experienced driver, someone with enough confidence and knowledge to give us valuable feedback, someone who would step up and guide our next driver, because we also knew we wanted someone young, talented, hungry, fast and determined. We started this process in early 2020 and we had our eyes immediately on Lizzie, her talent, determination, race craft, skills, enthusiasm but above all her fighter mentality were for us the main factor to put her really far up on our list. And when we heard that Valtteri would be available? We knew that he was the right driver for us. His race craft, awareness, dedication and experience was exactly what we wanted." Felix explained their choices for choosing us as driver line-up and Valtteri smiled at me, I just chuckled and bumped slightly into his shoulder.

"We spent the last year developing our car with the input and feedback from Lizzie, who was not only test driving our car on several tracks, no, she spent over 250 hours in our simulator, working meticulously on every fine tuning there was. And after the final input from Valtteri, we are now more than confident in our car and it is safe to say that we want to race for wins! And I think with the work and effort everyone at the factory put in, the feedback of our two drivers, it is possible to do so!" Felix said and I felt myself blush a little when the crowd, including Felix and Valtteri, clapped after he mentioned the endless hours of simulator work.

"We, the Audi Sports Formula 1 Team with our drivers Lizzie Doetterer, driver number 7 and Valtteri Bottas, driver number 77, are proud to present to you the Audi ARS-22." together with Valtteri I pulled the veil off of the car and the crowd started to clap and cameras were flashing. We posed together next to the car and I felt how my tense smile slowly turned into a relaxed one. I looked at the car, my car, the 7 shining bright on the bonnet, and I felt a sense of pride, excitement and happiness surge through my body. This was really happening.

"Toiletry bag. Check. Jeans. Check. Hoodies. Check. Shirts. Check. Sweatpants. Check. Underwear. Check. Socks… Socks? Check. Jacket. Check. Leggings. Check. Scarf. Check. Beanie. Check. MacBook Charger… Charger? Where the fuck…?" I was packing my suitcase when the door behind me opened up.

"You’re not allowed to say fuck!" Liam shouted and I turned around, looking at him.

"Well… yes I can! I’m a grown up! I am allowed to say these kinda words!" I chuckled and he walked in and plopped down on my bed. Hands in his hoodie pocket.

"That’s unfair!" he said and I shook my head.

"Nope it’s not! Can you help me? I’m looking for my charger?" I asked him and he smiled sheepishly, pulling out my charger out of his pocket "You little charger thief!"

"I’m not! It was downstairs and Oma said to bring it to you!" he said, outraged.

"Oh! I beg your pardon, Bubba! Thank you for bringing it to me!" I kissed his cheek and packed the charger into my suitcase. Next I packed my MacBook, camera, headphones, wallet and passport into my backpack. I checked one last time my suitcase, then I closed it up and put it down on the floor.

"All done?" Liam asked.

"All done!" I answered and sat down next to him.

We watched tv together as Dad looked into my room with a big grin on his face. I sat up excitedly.

"You got it!" I exclaimed and he nodded.

"Yup, it’s here." he said and I jumped up, Liam looking confused, I scooped him up and threw him over my shoulder "Come on Bubba! Let’s go!"

"Where are we going? Who’s here?" he laughed as he was swinging on my shoulder when I walked down the stairs. I sat him down on the floor, on the table a cardboard box.

"How does it look?" I asked and Dad chuckled.

"Well, I like it. It’s really clean looking." he said and I opened up the box with shaking hands.

"Oh! It’s your helmet!" Liam realised and climbed on the table to sit next to the box.

I pulled my helmet out, some styrofoam nuggets falling out in the process.

"It looks like your car!" Liam looked at it with big eyes.

"That was the plan, Bubba. How do you like the design?" I asked him and he tilted his head a little.

"Put it on!" he said and I said "It looks so cool! Like the coolest really!"

"You think so?" I opened the visor and he nodded "Perfect!" I took it off and set it on the table.

"Here, Patrick said you should scan the QR code for the pictures." Dad handed me a little card.

"Perfect. I’ll post it later on." I said and looked at my helmet. I sat it back down on the table, as Dad handed me the helmet bag.

"You’re done with packing?" he asked as he helped me pack the helmet away.

"Yup, ready when you are." I answered and he nodded.

"I’ll get your suitcase and backpack." Dad said and left.

"Alright, Bubba! You promise me to be on your best behaviour while I’m gone?" I said and hugged Liam.

"Promise! And you promise me to try to be back for my birthday party on Saturday?" he whispered and I nodded.

"I’ll try my best, Liam. But just in case I can’t be here in time, that’s why we celebrated yesterday already together, right?" I said and he sighed a little, then he nodded. What he didn’t know was that not only would I be back in time for his party, I would also bring along someone else.

"You’re leaving now?" Sissy asked as she came into the kitchen.

"Yeah." I said and she smiled and hugged me.

"Good luck, Schwesti!" she said and I smiled.

"Thanks, where is Mum?" I said as Mum came from outside.

"I’m here! Don’t worry, I’m not letting you go without saying goodbye!" she walked over, kissed my cheek and hugged me tight "Goodbye, my sweet girl! Good luck! Show them that you earned this seat!"

"I will Mum!" I said and she released me.

One last kiss from Liam and I walked with Dad out in the cold.

"Formula 1 season 2022, here she comes!" Dad said as we got into the car and the driver pulled out of the driveway.

"Mercedes really wasn’t as fast as expected? But with them you never know…" I said as we sat in the back of the car "But George adapted really well, don’t you think?"

"Yeah, but George always has been good, he was just in a team that wasn’t." Charles said and I nodded "But it looked like Lewis was struggling a little? I don’t know if it’s the car or if it’s George… thinking he’s the future to replace him?"

"You think? I mean he’s still Lewis Hamilton. Last season was… it was unfortunate. But still." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Which leaves only Red Bull left… They were fast. Like really fast!" Charles said and I thought about how Checo breezed past me, almost pushing me off track "But they’re beatable."

"Yeah, I think they were sandbagging a lot… that car? That has a lot more potential to unlock!" I said and he looked out the window for a moment.

"I think they definitely weren’t showing their full speed… but who really has?" he said and I thought for a moment, it was normal to not show the full performance of the engine to not show the competitors everything, but still, it was interesting to see how fast, or slow in some cases, the cars were considering the circumstances.

"You were also pretty fast…" I began and Dad in the passenger seat chuckled.

"You too! I mean you were flying! If that is not everything you got? Phewww you’re real competition!" Charles said and I looked at him "What?"

"Were you doubting it? You sound so surprised?" I asked and he shook his head immediately.

"No! I swear! I wasn’t! I was- umm I was just so happy to see you beating some of the guys!" he said fast.

"Relax, I’m just messing with you." I laughed and he pinched my side "You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Payback’s a bitch as you know!" he said and the car stopped. "So, ready to surprise our little Bubba?" he jumped out of the car and Dad and I followed him quickly.

We quietly walked in, Mum saw us and smiled, Liam stood with his back to us, watching as one of his friends explained something to him. Charles and I approached him and both leaned down at each of his sides.

"Booooohhh!" Charles and I shouted and Liam flinched.

"Charlie! Lizzie!" he smiled and hugged first Charles and then me "You both made it!"

"Do you really think we would miss out on your 4th birthday, Bubba?" Charles asked and Liam shook his head and beamed at him.

"I’m just here for the cake." I said and shrugged my shoulders, both boys exchanging one look and then wrestling me down on the mat, tickling my sides "Okay, okay! I’m not just here for the cake! Stop it now! I will retreat!" Charles pulled me with him up and Liam hugged my leg.

"Are you getting on the trampoline with us?" he asked us and we both nodded.

"Are you kidding? Of course!" Charles scooped him up on his back and gave him a piggyback ride to the entry, I followed close behind "Alright, ladies first!"

"Oh thank you, kind Sir!" I chuckled and took my shoes off and walked up the stairs.

"This is the best birthday ever!" Liam said and I smiled at him.

"Let’s go and hunt her down!" Charles said and both lunged at me.

"You made his day!" Mum said as I sat down, downing a bottle of water "He was hoping you would come, but now that Charles is here?"

"I’m forgotten… I know." I joked and she laughed "I definitely need to talk to JK. Phewww I’m out of breath! While Charles is still jumping around like there is no tomorrow!"

"You need your…" Mum began but I already inhaled once, putting my inhalator back in my bag "How was the driving? Is it working with your lungs and your back? Be honest!"

"It was good. Little exhausting, but that’s normal. Really Mum, no need to worry!" I answered and she nodded.

"Dr. Lindner called, he wanted to check in if your appointment on Monday is set." she said and I nodded.

"Yeah, I had his call on my phone but I just never had a quiet minute to call him back, did you say yes? Perfect, thanks Mum." I smiled at her as Charles plopped down next to me. I handed him a bottle of water and he smiled thankful.

"These kids? Wow… driving twice through Singapore isn’t that exhausting!" he chuckled and Mum patted his arm in sympathy.

"It’s anyways about time for the cake!" she got up and together with Sissy they called for the kids to come up to the table in 15 minutes.

We gathered around the table, Liam stood on a chair in front of his cake, and sang him a happy Birthday. He was the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time and I knew it was because Charles was here. Whenever he was here, Liam was the happiest. Me being his favourite was a long time ago.

The pre-season tests in Bahrain were over and the first race week of the 2022 Formula 1 Championship began 2 days ago.

"Did you expect something else?" JK asked as I drank something.

"I mean Red Bull? 100%! But Ferrari? They were so quick? Mercedes has nothing against them!" I said and he nodded "It’s going to be interesting, that’s for sure!"

"Most definitely! And now down again!" he took my bottle and pushed me flat on the bench "We’re not done for today!"

"I slightly regret asking you to be my performance coach… I forgot how much joy it brings you to torture me." I mumbled and JK laughed.

"No pain, no gain." he said and I groaned.

"Can we join in?" Charles said from somewhere behind me.

"Yeah sure, how you doing mate!" JK greeted Charles and then Andrea behind him "Liz maybe stops complaining now that we’re not alone anymore." he joked.

"I want to flip you off so bad…" I said and he laughed even more.

"Come on, princess. 3, 2, 1. And down. Wasn’t too hard now, was it?" JK said and I sat up.

"How do you feel?" Charles asked as he sat down on the bench next to me while Andrea adjusted his weights.

"Pretty good to be honest. I feel like now that we had the second tests and the set ups look great I’m ready, you know?" I said and Charles nodded.

"And how are you mentally? Lizzie, I’ve seen what the people are still writing about you, that nasty blog? Whoever is behind it? They downright hate you, for no apparent reason!" he said and I sighed.

"Yeah, people talk shit all the time, I don’t care." I said and grabbed my towel to dry my face. The truth was, I knew exactly who wrote that blog. It was a blog sponsored by ESPN Spain and Marca, one of Spain's biggest sport newspapers. And the writer said he met me once during my time in the WSeries at the race in Assen where I didn’t impress him at all and was apparently arrogant towards the writer when he met me. Counting one and one together it could only be Salva Diaz.

"That’s good, that you don’t let it get to your head." Charles said and began with his work out.

"Liz?" JK looked at me and I got up, he put the resistance bands around my head and I tried to focus on his pull instead of the blog. I couldn’t do anything about it, without telling what happened that day, so I would just ignore it. "Ready? Alright." JK pulled at the band and I tended my neck muscles to withstand the pull of JK "Hold it, hold it… okay 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Relax. Deep breaths… Ready? Go." after 9 reps JK handed me my bottle "How does it feel? Neck and back?"

"Tense? No, it’s fine, really." I said and he nodded.

"Front squats now." he said and prepared the weights "60?"

"70." I said and put my bottle down and prepared.

"10 reps. Let’s go." I focused on the weights, doing squat after squat.

"3, 2, 1. Down. Good job." JK patted my back and I gasped for air a little "Maybe a bit too heavy?"

"No. It was good! Come on! Let’s go!" I said and waited for JK.

"Hip thrusters next." he waved over to the bench and I got down on the floor "Make sure that you use your thighs more than your calves, you push up from your lower leg… yes, that’s better…"

"It’s not heavy enough, I can take more… make it 110."

"Okay. But if it’s too much…" JK put the weight on and I began again "… and 3, 2, 1. Down. Well done. Take a little break."

I sat on the bench, drinking my water as Charles sat down next to me.

"That’s a pretty tough routine? Don’t look at me like that! It’s more like, damn I don’t do 10 reps of front squats, kettlebell swings, hip thrusters, sumo deadlifts, military press, back extensions and crunches and that 5 times… plus cardio and neck training. Andrea said he might adjust my workout routine after he has seen what you’re doing!" he said and I laughed.

"I have to work out harder, because I've been out of the car for more than 2 years and didn’t work out like that! It’s just to make me as fit as possible!" I answered and he nodded.

"At least we can train together from now on!" he smiled at me.

"Yeah… that we can." I answered as JK came back.

"Ready for round 4?" he asked and I sighed but nodded.

"It’s like you said, no pain no gain!" and I got up.

"What about some yoga? You guys in?" I asked Charles and Andrea as I ended my last set and drank some water.

"Yoga?" Charles repeated and chuckled a little.

"It’s good for the muscles after an intense work out session. It promotes blood circulation and relieves tension in the muscles." JK explained and Andrea nodded.

"Let’s try something new then!" he said and walked up to us, Charles in tow.

JK stood in front of us, showing us the different poses and I did them easily, this was a part of my daily routine. Charles and Andrea on the other hand struggled a little but after a short while they managed to copy JK‘s poses. As we were done I leaned down, bending over completely and tensed my glutes, wrapping my arms around my ankles and counted down from 20, I always finished like this, one last stretch in my lower back.

"Charles? Hey! Are you listening? Are you good?" Andrea laughed behind me and I got up slowly and looked at them. Charles' cheeks were flushed and he looked a little nervous.

"Umm? Yeah. Fine. Totally fine." Charles said and turned around, walking to the bench where his bag was. I followed him.

"Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?" I asked him and he swallowed hard.

"Uh-huh! Sure, I’m good…" he answered.

"Okay… so later dinner together? I thought about going out. Tomorrow the season officially starts…" I said and Charles nodded.

"Yeah sure! Sounds good!" he answered and I smiled.

"Now I just need a shower…" and with that we left the gym.

"Stop being so nervous! It’s going to be okay!" Charles whispered as we stood in front of the conference room, waiting for us to be called in.

"I don’t know, I have a bad feeling, I can’t really explain why…" I said and Charles sighed.

"I’ll be right next to you! As well as Seb and Pierre! So come on now! Smile that beautiful smile of yours and all will be good!" he said and I nodded a little as the door opened.

"Let’s go…" I whispered and followed Charles in, Seb was the first one on the stage, followed by Charles, then me, Pierre and Lewis. I sat down and took a deep breath. I can do this.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first race of the 2022 Formula 1 season, here in Bahrain. Now a very warm welcome to our first drivers Sebastian Vettel from Aston Martin, Charles Leclerc from Scuderia Ferrari, for the first time ever Lizzie Doetterer for Audi Sports, Pierre Gasly for Alpha Tauri and Sir Lewis Hamilton for Mercedes AMG. Now let’s start with you Lizzie, first woman in F1 since 1976, how did you spend your winter, preparing for your first season in Formula 1?" Tom Clarkson looked at me with an encouraging smile and I calmed myself down.

"With a lot of work out sessions, studies of data and analytics, I also spent a lot of time in the simulator. That’s mainly wha-…" I began and looked for one second into the crowd of journalists as I saw him and my breathing ragged. Sitting in the third row with a devilishly smirk on his lips was Salva Diaz. Charles next to me realised immediately that something was wrong and followed my gaze. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath "Yeah, that’s mainly what I was doing during my winter break. Of course I also spent time with my family and friends and tried to have my mind in the right place. But above all I was just counting down the days for the season to start." I finished and forced myself to smile, trying not to look in his direction.

I didn’t listen to what was said next, I only focused on my breathing and trying to stay as calm as possible. If he’s here, then he will definitely try to ask something and as far as I know him, it would be very inappropriate and sexist.

"… and I think it’s a step in the right direction in terms of equality and diversity to have her here with us." Sebastian said and I looked up. Were they talking about me?

"Lewis?" Clarkson said.

"Yeah, I can only agree with what Charles and Seb said, it’s sad that it took so long for the motorsports world to recognise the talents of female drivers. But I’m really glad that it finally worked out and Lizzie’s here now with us, she’ll be a role model for a whole bunch of girls out there, showing that their dreams can come true." Lewis said and I smiled shyly at him.

"Alright, thank you Lewis. Let’s open this to the floor now and please remember to give your name and publication… first question, please."

"John Barrow, Motorsports Mag. Question for Lizzie. You’re 24 now, not really a young rookie anymore, with many young, talented drivers in F2 right now, hoping for a seat in F1, do you think it’s fair that you took the last open seat, after not being in the sport for years whereas they were fighting for your spot?" the journalist asked and Charles next to me scoffed.

"Connard." Pierre whispered under his breath on my other side. (asshole)

"Umm- of course I’m aware of the amazing drivers that are currently in F2 and I know their desire to make the final step into F1 all too well, I was in their position 4/ 5 years ago. But I was out of the sport not by my own choice? I was forced to, by almost dying… so yeah. I don’t think it’s unfair." I said, looking over at Charles, a murderous look on his face.

"Jean Michel, L'Équipe. Question for Lizzie. Where do you see yourself and the car after the tests? The target from Audi was to fight for wins, but do you think that you’re able to fight at the top, or is the midfield more the area you would see yourself?"

"Car wise I think we showed in the tests so far that we have a good car with a lot of pace, so yeah I think we, or specifically I as you asked, can fight for wins." The next questions were almost all directed at me, more or less the same thing: do I really think I am good enough for this. I felt my anxiety crippling up my spine with every new question and I began to fiddle with my cuticles, feeling the stinging in my eyes. As I thought a second of the next answer I was going to give, I felt the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger.

"Okay, I think that’s enough. We established by now that Lizzie is feeling capable of driving in F1 and I have no doubt that she will impress all of us, I’ve seen her multiple times on track and from Charles I know how she was back in karting. So I’d say there has been said everything there is to say on that matter." Seb said, his voice calm and collected, although his face clearly showed disdain.

"Right, so we got time for another question? Any other question, please?" Tom Clarkson asked the journalists and I looked around, Salva Diaz holding up his hand and my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach.

"Salva Diaz. Marca. Question for Lizzie. There have been a lot of rumours in the past, about if you and Charles are dating or not. But aside from that, you have now a pool of 19 men around you to choose from, who is the one that attracts you the most, or is it maybe even more than one, you might persuade?" he asked, looking at me with a disgusting smirk.

"Seriously mate? This question is inappropriate!" Lewis said as Charles next to me tensed up and clenched his jaw.

"It’s a question many people are asking themselves?" Diaz countered.

"Yeah? Then these many people can fuck off. We’re done." Charles was furious and got up, standing in front of me, waiting for me to get up "Come on, ma belle, we’re leaving." he said quietly in French and I looked up at him. My eyes glossy. He pulled me up and walked behind me, guiding me, with his hand at the small of my back, out of the conference room.

"I’m okay Charles…" I whispered as he led me through the door.

"Yeah, maybe. But I’m not." he answered and I looked over my shoulder and saw Seb and Lewis discussing with Pierre "That was not okay! All of the questions for you? And then that last guy? What the fuck?"

"It’s okay. It’s done now." I said and he just shook his head.

"I hope they won’t do that again!" Charles said.

"They will. I’m an easy target." I replied and Charles sighed.

"We’ll find a solution…" he said and I nodded, as we walked back to our hospitalities.

The fanzone was loud and a sea of people donning merch of every team. I was almost ecstatic to see people wearing Audi merch with my logo on it, even some posters for me. It was all happening in a blur. The questions asked, my answers. A bit of banter with Valtteri and then we walked off the stage to the fans, Valtteri in front and me behind him, nervously I thought to myself if someone even wanted my autograph or a picture with me. But as soon as we arrived at the fence the fans started screaming Valtteris but also my name. I signed t-shirts, flags, magazine covers, drivers cards, caps, even some arms. As a young girl held up a t-shirt for me to sign, she made big eyes when I signed it.

"Lizzie! You’re sooo amazing! Here! That’s for you!" the young girl handed me a bracelet and I beamed at her.

"For me?" I repeated and she nodded.

"Yes! Here we have another one!" the girl next to her handed me another bracelet.

"Oh my god! Thank you sooo much! They look amazing!" I smiled at them as I put the two bracelets on my wrist "I love them! They are so pretty!"

"We hope you win this weekend, Lizzie!" the one girl said.

"I will try my best!" I said and then we took a selfie together "I hope you have an amazing weekend here, girls!" I waved one last time before I was ushered away by a security guy. I took selfies here and there, signed more merch and other stuff and even received some more bracelets. At the end of the fence was a little girl, full in Audi merch, waving excitedly.

"Look at you! You look amazing!" I said as I stopped in front of her.

"Lizzie! You’re so cool!" she said in German and I smiled at her "You are the best driver!"

"Maybe not the best, but yeah…" I laughed and she shook her head.

"Papa said, if you made it into F1 you must be the best!" she answered and her dad behind her chuckled.

"She’s right! We’re so proud to see a girl making it into F1! And then a German driver in a German team!" he said and I smiled.

"Thank you so much for your support!" I said and signed the cap the little girl handed me.

"Can we take a picture together?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely!" I answered and we all crouched together to take a picture.

"Here, that’s for you!" the little girl handed me another bracelet and I put it on immediately.

"Thank you so much! It looks amazing!" I said and looked at the bracelet on my wrist.

"Can I hug you?" the girl asked and I smiled.

"Yes! Definitely!" I answered and embraced the little girl "That's what I needed! Thank you so much!"

"We hope you win on Sunday!" she said and her dad nodded in agreement.

"I will try my very best!" I said and smiled one last time before I had to leave.

"Look at that! I got some bracelets! They are all so pretty!" I showed Charles my bracelets and he held my hand and inspected them.

"They really are pretty." he said and I smiled even brighter.

"I was always so… I wouldn’t say jealous, but yeah kinda, when I saw all the bracelets you got… and now I got some myself!" I said and he chuckled a little.

"I have so many by now, I always feel bad when I don’t wear them all. I always switch between them, taking a couple for one weekend and then some others for the next." Charles said and I nodded.

"Maybe I will get one day as well as many as you, but for now I love the ones I have!" I said and he smiled at me.

"I told you, the people will love you! How could they not?" he said and played with the bracelets around my wrist.

"Yeah, it’s just hard to grasp, you know? I’m here now, people are actually cheering for me after all the negativity of the past months? I just don’t want to disappoint them!" I said quietly and looked down, Charles grabbing my chin gently and tilting my head up.

"As long as you give 100% and be the best you can be, you won’t disappoint anyone!" he said firmly and I nodded a little.

"I will give my best… but I know there will be people out there, even journalists, experts or whatever that will crucify me for any small mistake that I’m making. There will be so many people for whom I’ll never be good enough…" I sighed but Charles shook his head.

"Ignore those people! You are one of the best drivers on the grid, believe in yourself!" he said and I smiled a little.

"I will try my best." I said and he pulled me into his side.

"You got this."

The first few laps were good, the car was bouncing a lot, but we expected it from what we’ve seen during the tests already. Apart from that I felt comfortable.

"Lizzie, start your out lap now. Have an eye on the fronts in turn 3 and 6. Mind the curb in turn 8. Valtteri was brushing it a lot there!" Pete said over the radio

"Copy."

I did as told and completed a fast lap.

"Good lap, Lizzie. P4. Box next lap."

"Alright."

The next laps I would test out the medium tires and I felt immediately how much faster I could go.

"Tires are really good." I pushed the radio button.

"Understood. One more try, then box.”

"Ok."

I warmed my tires and began my lap. I weaved through the track and the pace of the car was amazing, but when I drove into turn 10, I braked slightly too much and my tires locked up and I spun off the track, a full 360, but I managed to not lose the car.

"Track clear?" I asked.

"Wait for Albon and then all clear."

Alex drove past me and I joined the track again. I took a deep breath, great. FP1 and I almost lost the car already. I drove straight to the pits where I got wheeled back into the garage. I opened my visor as Pete walked over to me.

"I think we need to check the floor." I said.

"Alright." he nodded to Matt, one of the mechanics as they brought down the screens. I checked the lap times, compared them with the others. Then I watched my spin and shook my head.

"I’m sorry…" I began but Pete shook his head.

"Charles reported he almost lost the car as well, right after you. There must be a slippery patch. So look out on the next lap." he answered and I nodded.

I was almost certain that there wasn’t a slippery patch or something. I simply braked too hard and my tires locked up. I couldn’t think about it any longer as Matt gave Pete the all clear.

"Ready?" Pete asked and I gave him the thumbs up, closing my visor.

"First day is over, how do you feel?" Andrea asked and I shrugged my shoulders a little, poking at my salad.

"Good, I guess? I mean it was a good day, result wise, I think?" I answered and Dad chuckled a little.

"Lizzie, you were P8 and P7. That’s more than good, result wise." Pierre said and Charles nodded.

"I think you could’ve been even faster, you were a bit hesitant at some corners, I think?" he looked at me and I sighed.

"It’s my first race weekend. I don't want to crash out before I make it into the race!" I replied and Charles rolled his eyes.

"Stop thinking like that! Just drive." he said and Pierre nodded agreeing.

"He’s right. Get everything out of your head and just drive. The rest will come on its own." Pierre said and I forced myself to smile, then I took a big gulp of my water.

"You’ll do great. You’ll see." Seb said and patted my arm.

"Listen to him, he’s a world champion!" Felix said and we laughed.

"Yeah, you’re right. In Seb we trust" I said and Seb rolled his eyes.

"What?" Charles asked after a while.

"What?" I looked up at him.

"You want to say something… I feel it. Something is bothering you." he sat up against the headboard.

I sighed and sat up, thinking about how to phrase what’s on my mind.

"It’s umm… in FP1. When I spun… why did you say you almost lost it there? Why did you say there was a slippery patch on the track? I was braking too hard. My tires locked up a little, that’s why I spun…" I said, not looking at him.

"Because it was slip-…" Charles began and I glared at him "Fine. I knew that you would

immediately think about what the media would say and so I thought that if I also have a problem at the spot and say that it’s slippery…"

"… the media leave me alone and won’t tear me apart for screwing up in FP1 already?" I finished his sentence and he nodded a little.

"I’m sorry… it’s just… I know that you read all that crap they write about you and that is not really the best for your confidence! So yeah…" he admitted sheepishly.

"Thank you, Charlie!" I whispered as I hugged him.

"You know I would do everything for you!" he whispered back.

"But Charles?" I pulled away and looked at him.

"You want me to say that I’ll never do it again…" he said and I nodded "I will try my best, it’s just… in my mind it just clicks and I want to protect you, so… yeah I will try to stop it."

"Thanks, really…" I kissed his cheek and he smiled "And now, I go. We need to sleep!"

"You could also stay? We always shared a room in F2 and even when I was in F1 and you in F2?" Charles said and I thought for a second "I sleep better when you’re next to me…"

"Yeah… me too!" I replied and he smiled.

"Perfect."

"Perfect."

"Don’t risk too much, but push as hard as you can."

Charles' words in the back of my mind as I started my flying lap. Trying everything I could to reach Q3.

"Are we through?"

"We are through. P9." Pete said.

"Nice one!"

I drove back into the pits, got a new set of tires, checking my laps.

"You can push a little more." Pete said and pointed out some of the turns, where I was a little more careful than at other turns.

"Alright."

I got into heavy traffic, my mind went racing. I had yet to set a lap time after my last was deleted due to track limits. It was now or never. I accelerated and pushed the throttle as hard as I could and crossed the start line. Full focus now on the track. I was like in a tunnel, nothing else on my mind. I saw the checkered flag and pushed the radio button.

"Tell me we’ve made it?!"

"You’ve done it! You’re in Q3!"

"Valtteri?"

"His last lap time was deleted. He’s P15."

"Damn it. He’ll make up for it in the race!"

"Exactly."

P8 in Q2. It wouldn’t be a bad starting position for my first ever Formula 1 race. But I still had one last chance to make some places up. I drove out of the garage and started to warm my tires.

"Who’s on track with me?"

"Right now Hamilton, Russell, Gasly will pit now. Perez, Magnussen on track. Charles, Verstappen and Sainz are at the pit exit."

"Copy."

"Don’t risk too much, but push as hard as you can." Charles' words again in my head. Also how he said stop thinking just drive. And I just did that. I blanked everything else out. I just drove.

"Brilliant job, Lizzie!"

"Woooohoooooo! YES! Well done team! Thank you guys so much!"

"That was an amazing lap, you’re only 0.095 seconds behind Hamilton! Terrific job!"

"Thanks guys! Where’s Charles?"

"Charles is on pole."

"YES! Awesome! So happy for him!"

"Lizzie, first of all, congrats! P6 for tomorrow! That was an amazing lap!" Will Buxton congratulated me.

"Thanks! It was an amazing job by the team, they sent me out at the right times, tyre choices were amazing. That was a great team effort!" I smiled at him.

"But it was also a brilliant drive from you! You were also a good teammate there, asking straight for Valtteri and later even checking up on Charles?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Valtteri was over the last few weeks such an amazing help for me! He helped me to adjust to the car, showed me what to look at, how to go check certain things. He’s been an amazing mentor and I wished he would’ve been with me in Q3, but I know he will come back stronger tomorrow in the race." I answered and he nodded "And Charles… I mean, I obviously keep on checking for him, I’m so proud of him after that qualifying and hope he can convert that pole into a win."

"So no win for you?" Will chuckled.

"I mean, pace wise it will be really hard to catch up to him. But yeah we’ll see what we can do."

"First Drivers Parade… nervous?" Valtteri asked as we got on the low loader truck.

"No? Yes? I don’t know?" I answered and he chuckled, then nudged my shoulder.

"You’ll be fine, I know it!" he said and I nodded, he clapped Charles on the back who approached us "Hey mate."

"Hi Valtteri." Charles smiled at the Finish driver as he walked off, then he looked at me "You look a little pale?"

"I’m good… I just want the race to start now!" I admitted and Charles laughed.

"Yeah, I remember how I was before my first race. I just wanted to get into the car and drive…" he said and I smiled.

"I know, I was there!" I replied and we laughed.

"You were… like you’re everywhere that’s important to me!" he said and pulled me into his side "And now smile and wave at the crowd!" and I did just that.

"We’re all so proud of you Lizzie! You’ll be amazing!" Mum said and I smiled at her.

"Show me! Lizzie! Look what I’m wearing!" Liam came into frame, clad in Audi merch from head to toe.

"Oh wow Bubba! Look at you!" I laughed and he beamed at me.

"I’m your biggest fan! Oh… but also Charlie’s! Like both of you!" Liam said and I smiled at him.

"I think we can happily share your support!" I said and Charles walked up next to me, football in one hand "Speak of the devil!" I tilted the phone so that Liam could see Charles.

"Hey Bubba! I see you’re ready for the race!" he said and Liam nodded.

"But look what I wear under!" Liam said and lifted his Audi shirt, revealing a Ferrari shirt.

"Look at you!" Charles laughed and Liam was happy that he made both of us happy.

"I’d say now Charlie has to win!" Dad said behind us and Liam nodded.

"Yes! Charlie wins and Lizzie makes it onto the podium!" he agreed and I laughed.

"Sure! I’ll try my best!" I smiled at him.

"I have a good feeling that Lizzie will be on the podium, Bubba!" Charles said and I rolled my eyes a little.

"We gotta go now, Liam! I’ll call you after the race!" I said and Charles nodded.

"Bye little one!" he said and Liam sent us air kisses.

"Good luck!" he yelled before he ended the call.

"Warm up a little?" Charles asked and I nodded, grabbing the ball from him.

"Yup, let’s go."

Charles POV:

I stood in front of Lizzie’s garage, waiting for her and looked up at the picture of her, smiling down on me. Someone approached me and I looked down.

"Good luck, Charles! You can win this!" Juergen said and hugged me.

"Thanks, but shouldn’t you cheer for Lizzie?" I teased him and he rolled his eyes boxing my arm a little.

"I’m not picking a favourite out of you two! You battle it out on the track and the best should win… like back in the day!" he said and I smiled.

"Sounds fair!" I laughed as Lizzie walked out of the garage, her race suit rolled down to her waist "Ready?"

"Let’s vibe to the anthem I say!" she laughed and gave Juergen a kiss on the cheeks, hugged me and walked away "Come on Charlie!" I turned around and followed her as something caught my eye. Inside of Lizzie’s race suit was the Monegasque flag. I stopped abruptly. Lizzie took another 3 steps before she realised I wasn’t next to her, then she turned around.

"What’s wrong?" she asked, worried.

"Is that… Lizzie is that- is that the Monegasque flag?" I almost whispered it and her eyes widened a little as she blushed.

"Yeah… it’s umm- it’s a little tribute, for your Dad, he always said I would make it into F1. He never had any doubt, even when I had them… a lot. But he never doubted it for a second… so yeah, that’s for him." she said and I almost choked up "But it’s also for you, Charles, because you did as well. You always said we would drive one day together in F1 and here we are. You were always by my side, through thick and thin. You believed in me when I wasn’t anymore. So yeah, this is for you as well. My anchor."

I hugged her tight to my body, blinking the tears away.

"My anchor. Without you, I wouldn’t be here either. Tonight we make them proud!" I whispered and kissed her temple.

"Get a room, you two!" Pierre shouted as he walked past us, while Daniel did a wolf whistle.

"They’re just jealous, because I get to hold you close and they don’t!" I said, pulling away.

"No, that privilege belongs only to you." she said as she wiped away the tears from my cheeks "Damn, Leclerc. We’re not even racing yet and you’re already sweating."

I was taking one last breath. Closing my eyes. And then it started. The lights went out and I went off. Hamilton overtook Perez, then I overtook Perez, chasing Hamilton for that P4. Behind us was a little commotion but we were already too far gone to be involved. A yellow flag was waved, a moment later the track was clear again. I fully focused on Hamilton in front of me, staying as close as possible. As soon as the DRS was enabled I tried to catch up even further.

"Spare front left a bit." Pete radioed.

"Copy. Gap?"

"0.9. Stay like this and you’ll have DRS."

"Alright."

And DRS I had indeed, but Hamilton was clever, fighting off my attack lap after lap.

"Hamilton says tyres are really good."

"Yeah? He’s sliding a lot for that."

"How are yours?"

"Better. No sliding."

"Strat 1A then."

"Copy."

The next few laps I stayed close to Hamilton but he always was able to fight me off, no matter how hard I tried.

"Box, Box." Pete said and the next lap I drove into the pit lane, right after Hamilton.

2.4 seconds. A good stop. But I wasn’t the only one with a good one. Hamilton got released just as I approached him and I had to break to avoid us touching. No undercut then. Now it was all down to who would warm the tyres faster. The battle for the 4th place went on lap after lap, with me overtaking Hamilton and him overtaking me. Back and forth until our next pitstop. And after that it went on again like that.

"Do I have anything left? Pace wise?" I pushed the radio button and hoped for a miracle.

"We can try setting… safety car. Lizzie, Max has retired. It’s now a battle for the podium."

Battle for the podium? In my first race I could get a podium? I just had to overtake 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton for that. Something I failed for the past almost 50 laps. Game on.

"Box, Box."

I knew I had a set of new softs.

"Does he…" I began.

"Only used ones." Pete knew exactly what I wanted to ask.

A set of new softs. I warmed them as good as possible, preparing for the re-start. I knew Charles long enough to know when and where he would start and had an amazing re-start. I made a bold move, round the inside and Hamilton left enough space for me to squeeze past him, with the better tyres I had more traction for the next few corners and could defend my position. I was even able to keep him out of the DRS window as soon as it was enabled again.

"Hamilton now behind with 1.3 seconds. Sainz ahead with 1.1 seconds. 3 laps to go."

"Who’s faster?"

"You’re faster than Hamilton. Sainz is slightly faster than you."

"Copy."

3 more laps. Push through.

Penultimate lap. Come on.

Last lap. Only 5,412 km between me and my first ever F1 podium. Full focus.

Checkered flag. P3.

"GOOD JOB, LIZZIE! WELL DONE!" Pete screamed.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! DID WE JUST LAND ON THE PODIUM?!?!"

"You drove brilliantly! Amazing! Thank you, Lizzie! We’re all so proud of you!" Felix radioed and he sounded a little off.

"Are you crying? Felix!" I chuckled and he cleared his throat.

"No, I don’t! But honestly! Freaking amazing, Lizzie! Congratulations on a brilliant first race and your first podium!" he said.

"Thank you guys! This is for all the hard work you guys put in the car! Here and back home at the factory. Where’s Valtteri?"

"P6!"

"WOOOHOOOO!!! From P15 to P6! What an amazing recovery! Awesome job!"

"Double points!"

It felt amazing, putting the car in that P3 spot. Next to Charles, who was already getting out of his car. I sat there for a moment to gather myself. P fucking 3. What?! Someone patted on my helmet and I looked up.

"Get your ass out there!" Charles shouted and I unbuckled my seatbelts, put the steering wheel out and climbed out of the car, straight into Charles arms who twirled me around "I’m so fucking proud of you, ma belle! Your first race and you’re already on the podium! Congrats!"

"Thank you Charlie, congrats on your win! Fucking hell a P1-P2! Ferrari is back!" I said as he sat me down and I opened my visor.

"Yeah, no go to your team! They want to celebrate you!" he pushed me towards the Audi crew and I jumped into them, everyone patting my helmet, shoulders and arms.

"Fantastic!"

"Well done, Lizzie!"

"Amazing race!"

"Brilliant race, Lizzie!"

I felt like floating when I reached Dad who pulled me into him.

"I’m so, so proud of you, my little owl! You did amazing! We’re all so damn proud!" he sniffled a little and I pulled away.

"Nooo! Pops stop crying!!!" I said and he shook his head.

"I’m not crying! Don’t look at me like that! It’s just-… You’re on the freaking podium! Charles won! I’m so happy and proud of you two!" he said and I waved Charles over. Dad immediately pulled him into a tight hug. "We’re all so proud of you! You two did amazing!"

"Oh Pops, stop or I’m crying!" Charles laughed and Dad did as well "Lizzie, you need to go to your weighing." he looked over at Jo Bauer, waiting for me.

"Oh shit, yeah, I almost forgot." I walked over hastily "Sorry! I was overwhelmed."

"No worries at all, Lizzie. Good race! Well done!” he smiled at me, noting my weight and handing me the receipt.

"Thank you!" I said and walked up to the little table and pulled my helmet off, after that I wiped my face with the towel and drank some water. Then I walked over to Carlos and nudged his shoulder.

"Good race! Congrats!" I said and he grinned.

"Yeah, you too Lizzie. Well done!" he said and someone engulfed me in a hug from behind, lifting me off the ground.

"YOU’RE THE FREAKING GOAT!" Pierre screamed and I laughed. He let me down again and I turned around and he hugged me again "You’re on the podium! You’re on the freaking podium! Congrats!"

"Thanks, Pierre!" I smiled at him and he nodded at Carlos.

"We’re going to party tonight!" Pierre hugged me again and then walked up to Charles to congratulate him. I took another swig from my bottle as I saw Seb approaching me.

"Lizzie! Amazing race!" he said in German and hugged me "I’m so damn proud of you!"

"Thanks Seb!" I smiled and he patted my shoulder again before he left to congratulate Charles as well. I drank some more as Julie waved at me, nodding her head into the direction where the camera crew was standing. Of course, the interview. I took a deep breath and walked towards a guy smiling at me and handing me a microphone.

"Lizzie, congrats on P3! What a race! Your overtake on Perez looked phenomenal! And then that fight with Lewis? Talk us through!" Martin Brundle said and I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Martin! It was an amazing feeling, having that much pace to overtake him like that! But yeah, Lewis was a tough battle! Whenever I thought I might have him, he always came back. But he’s not a 7 time world champion for nothing." I answered and Martin laughed.

"He’s a tough opponent, that’s for sure. But you managed to overtake him and now you’re standing here, P3, podium, in your first F1 race. How does it feel?" he asked.

"Can I be honest? I’m feeling a little like I’m dreaming or something? It doesn’t feel real. I mean… fucking hell! Podium? I can’t believe it! It feels so freaking amazing. It was a good first weekend for us, we scored some nice point with Valtteri’s amazing race from P15 to P6!" I said and laughed when Valtteri showed up behind Martin waving at me.

"I let you join your team mate, then. Enjoy your first podium! Amazing race, Lizzie. Well done!" he finished and I smiled at him.

"Thank you!" and with that I gave the microphone back and walked up to Valtteri, who pulled me in a hug.

"Brilliant job, Lizzie!" he said and I smiled.

"You too! What a race! P6! Amazing!" I replied and he just waved it off.

"It was okay. But you? Fantastic! You need to celebrate this!" he smiled at me and I nodded "And now off you go to get that trophy!"

"Yeah." I laughed and followed one of the F1 officials into the cool down room.

"That was an amazing overtake, Lizzie. He had no chance!" Charles gushed as he saw the replay of my overtake of Perez "And that fight with Lewis! Brilliant!"

"He was a tough nut!" I replied as the replay of the checkered flag was shown and how the Ferraris crossed the line first and then with a little gap me.

"Lizzie? You’re first!" the same F1 official from before called me on the podium and I walked out, the crowd cheering, and stepped on the podium. I could hear some booing here and there but I couldn’t care less at the moment. Podium. Fucking amazing.

It was all a blur. Monaco Anthem. Italy Anthem. Trophies. And then the Champagne. The loud pop of the cork ringing in my ear as I was doused in the sticky liquid by Charles. I sprayed him and Carlos, then we cheersed on each other and I took a swig of the bottle.

"Ewww… I thought in F1 it would taste at least a little better!" I laughed and Charles only shook his head.

"Nope, still disgusting." he chuckled a little and took a sip as well "Yeah, never gets better."

As the pictures were taken, Charles pulled me close to his side, cheeks hurting from smiling like crazy.

We were ushered to the post race press conference and Charles and I joked around as Tom Clarkson began. Most of the questions were positive, congratulating me, saying they were impressed. I saw Salva Diaz, hoping he wouldn’t have a chance of asking anything, but I was wrong, unfortunately.

"Question for Lizzie, your overtake on Checo looked almost a bit too easy? He didn’t put up much of a fight there…" he began.

"Lewis' overtake on him wasn’t different? He had problems with his engine as we found out… so what are you implying?" I interrupted him.

"I wasn’t implying anything… Who will be the lucky man you’re celebrating your race with tonight? Maybe even Checo?" he then countered and I saw Charles next to me clenching his jaw.

"With every single person that comes down to the club where we will be." I answered, voice indifferent.

"Alright. That’s it for today. Thank you to our 3 drivers, Lizzie, Charles and Carlos. Have a nice celebration and we’ll see you next week in Saudi Arabia. Good night!"

I jumped up and we left the stage, Julie waiting for me.

"Why do I have a feeling that this guy really doesn’t like you?" she asked and I shook my head.

"I don’t know, he’s just a sexist asshole, don’t worry…" I answered but Charles just scoffed.

"This guy needs to be gone. It’s the second time now that he asked something like that! That’s not okay, Lizzie!" he said.

"Let’s wait for Saudi Arabia. If he pulls something like that again…" I sighed.

"Of course he will!" Charles replied.

"We’ll see, okay? And now I don’t want to think about him anymore! I want to think about the amazing race we had! And how and where we celebrate!" I said and Charles chuckled a little.

"You’ll see, ma belle, you’ll see!"

As I finally made it back into the Audi garage a wild party was already going on, everyone clapping and cheering for me as I walked in.

"Alright, everyone, quiet please. I want to say a few words!" Felix said out loud. And everyone was looking at him "First of all: Big congratulations to Lizzie! You had an amazing first weekend and today’s race was just phenomenal! A podium in your first race! We’re all so proud of you! Then of course Valtteri! You coped brilliantly! From P15 to P6! Good job! I’d like to thank not just you two for today’s success, but also the whole team, everyone who worked so hard for this result today! I have a good feeling about this car, this whole team and our drivers of course! So, let’s celebrate tonight. Our team briefing can wait until tomorrow!"

"Let’s goooo!" Matt, one of my mechanics shouted and the whole team cheered with him.

I hugged people here and there, made small talk and laughed and smiled. Right as I thought I possibly couldn’t smile brighter, I saw a text from Charles, asking when I’m ready to leave. I said my goodbyes to the team, telling them that I want them all at the club later on, grabbed my bag and left with dad, whose smile didn’t falter once.

"You have no idea how proud I am of you, my little owl." he said as we walked side by side to the car park.

"Pops, you said it already like a million times! I know by now!" I laughed but he shook his head.

"Yeah and you will hear it probably another 2 million times! I’m proud of you! Really!" he said and pulled me to his side "Today you showed the world what we all already knew, you’re a true fighter and a terrific racer! And it seems that a lot of people world wide agree, you won the vote for driver of the day!"

"That means nothing…" I began.

"Yes, it does Lizzie!" he replied and I sighed.

"Maybe you’re right…" I said and he chuckled.

"I’m always right."

"Wow… Lizzie, you look… wow…" Charles looked at me in the mirror and I turned around "You look so amazing, ma belle. Beautiful."

"Thanks, Charlie. You look very handsome yourself!" I answered, smoothing down the dark green fabric of my dress.

"It’s nothing compared to you!" he answered and I shook my head, Charles looked dashing in his dark blue jeans and white button down.

"That’s not true! The girls will be all over you tonight!" I laughed and turned around and looked into the mirror again, checking my make up one last time, as Charles walked up next to me, turning me around, one hand on my waist, the other gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes lingered for a moment on my mouth, then they wandered up to my eyes.

"I don’t care about other girls, because tonight I’ll only celebrate you… and I plan to be all over you…" he whispered and I could feel his warm breath fanning over my face, I swallowed audibly and he grinned at me. I felt hot, my insides boiling. He was so close. Too close. But not close enough. I glanced down at his lips, his perfect lips. Did he just lean in? I opened my mouth, I had to say something, but then someone started banging on the door and we pushed away from each other. I walked into the en suite bathroom. Trying to cool myself down. Something like that couldn’t happen again.

"Get your ass out of there, Lizzie! Come on! They are all waiting for us!" Pierre yelled through the door and I took one last deep breath, then walked out.

"Jeez! I’m ready! Can’t a girl have a minute of privacy?" I asked and he just shook his head.

"Nope, not when she’s this hot and has a podium and a full club of guys waiting to celebrate with her. So let’s move it!" he laughed and pushed me out of the hotel room, I could grab my purse at the last moment and the next thing I know is how I downed my first shot of the night.

"To Charles and Carlos! First P1-P2 for Ferrari in a while! And to Lizzie! For scoring her first podium in her first race!" Pierre shouted and we all drank another shot.

"I must say, I’m more than impressed, Liz. That weekend of yours? You shut a lot of mouths!" Daniel said and I smiled at him "Damn good to be driving along a history maker!"

"Thanks Daniel! Really!" I said and hugged him.

"Hey! Unfair!" Charles next to me huffed and pulled me out of Daniel’s embrace before hugging me himself "You said only I have the privilege to have you this close!"

I had to contain my laughter at his adorable pout and instead kissed his cheek.

"Sorry Charlie bear, but he was nice to me… so I had to say thank you, right?" I laughed but Charles shook his head, a movement he regretted a moment later.

"Shouldn’t have done that… ugh… I’m feeling dizzy now…" he mumbled and I walked him back to our booth and sat him down, handing him a bottle of water "Thank you, ma belle… but what I was saying… you can shake his hand to say thank you…"

"Oh Charles come one… don’t be so possessive!" I laughed, although my cheeks blushed hard at the thought of Charles being this possessive over me.

"But I am this possessive! You’re mine." he rasped quietly and the air between us was loaded with tension.

"What?" I swallowed hard, I must misheard that.

"I said you’re my best friend. My Lizzie. Ma belle." Charles said, his voice sounded a little nervous "Right?"

"Yeah… yeah you’re right…" I answered and grabbed a bottle of water for myself "Maybe we should leave Charles. You’re a little drunk and I don’t want you to be totally hungover tomorrow!" I got up and he only nodded, doing the same.

"You’re right. We have team meetings to attend in a couple of hours…" he answered, although he sounded almost sober again "Let’s go."

The whole way back to our hotel and Charles room we were silent. I went to the bath room first, showered quickly and was preparing for bed. I walked out in an old shirt from Charles and a leggins. He sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone.

"I always wondered where that was…" he chuckled as he looked up, pointing to his shirt.

"It’s comfy, so I stole it…" I answered and grinned at him "You can go now, I’m done."

"Alrighty then." Charles stood up and closed the door behind him.

I laid down, thinking about what happened before the club. It wasn’t the first time that we were this close to each other, that I felt like my body was craving him, not just my body, but also my mind. I had to stop myself from doing something stupid. But on the other hand, it seemed that Charles had to do the same? Or was it just the champagne? We drank a little more while getting ready. But these kinds of moments happened a lot over the last months. And usually we were sober… My mind was reeling, trying to find an answer… but instead of being wiser, my mind drifted off, replaying the scene from the club earlier over and over… and with Charles' image in my mind, I fell asleep.

"All in all it was an amazing weekend for us! 23 points, no damages, one podium. Amazing. Let’s continue like this in Jeddah! See you all there!" Felix finished off our first ever post race team meeting and we were dismissed. I said goodbye to everyone and left, looking for Charles, as Dad and I would fly with him to Jeddah. We haven’t talked about what happened last night, this morning was hectic with packing our suitcases and hurrying back to the track for our respective team meetings. I walked out of our garage bumping straight into Andrea.

"Charles sent me to pick you up, the team meeting isn’t over yet." he said and I nodded.

"Why do they need this long? Was there anything they could’ve done better? I mean you have a P1-P2 plus the fastest lap?" I laughed but Andrea shook his head a little.

"Yeah, I don’t know either… he said we should go ahead and he will come straight to the airport." he said and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Umm… okay. Dad and JK are waiting with my stuff in our hospitality-" I began but stopped as I saw both of them walking up to us, Dad with my suitcase and backpack "Nevermind." I laughed and Andrea chuckled a little.

"I go and grab Charles and my stuff, I meet you at the car?" he said and I nodded as he walked off.

"So? How was the first post race team meeting?" Dad asked as we walked to the car park.

"I mean there wasn’t much to say was there?" I shrugged my shoulders and they laughed.

"Probably not, no." he answered "We’re waiting now for Charles? What’s taking so long at Ferrari?"

"It’s Ferrari…"

"Are you okay?" I asked Charles, while he was tapping away on his phone.

"Yeah, why?" he didn’t even look up from his phone, so I gently took it from his hands "Lizzie, I’m fine. Can I have my phone now?"

"No. Because you’re not honest… you can have it back as soon as you start talking!" I said, leaning back in my seat, looking out the window. Charles next to me sighed and then leaned back as well.

"Sylvia spoke to me about the way I celebrated after the race…" he whispered and I turned to look at him.

"The club? You didn’t do anything? Yeah we drank a little but we didn’t do something… we made it back to the hotel without leaving any chaos behind?" I asked and he shook his head, closing his eyes.

"No, straight after the race, when I got out of my car… she said I should’ve gone to Carlos first, to celebrate our P1-P2, then our team. And then lastly you…" he mumbled.

"Oh… okay… I’m sorry." I said and Charles whipped his head into my direction.

"Why would you apologise for her erratic behaviour? I swear she just looks for reasons to annoy me… she said apparently it wouldn’t look good to the Tifosi if I would congratulate and celebrate first with another driver and then with Carlos… I told her you’re not just another driver and she knows it… but yeah you know her." he said and I chuckled a little, yes, I knew how Sylvia could be.

"Was that why the meeting took that long?" I asked and he nodded.

"I explained to them that I was just happy for you and that I can’t control my emotions after winning a race and then seeing you being on the podium as well… she said I should try and I just said I will… which I totally won’t. I celebrate with who I want when I want!" he smiled at me.

"You’re giving her a heart attack one day…" I chuckled and he laid his head on my shoulder.

"Maybe I’ll do it in Jeddah, when we’re both back on the podium together…" he whispered and took my hand, intertwining our fingers "And now let’s try for a little power nap, I’m tired as hell…" he yawned and closed his eyes, snuggling into my side.

"You always turn into a little koala bear when you’re tired…" I giggled and I could see him smiling.

"That's why I’m your Charlie bear." he whispered and I smiled, looking out of the window. Saudi Arabia is ahead of us.

Race week 2 starts now.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 13 is out - the longest chapter so far 🙈 soooorry! But a LOT is happening and I wanted to be as detailed as possible for one race weekend because from now on it’s never this fully described ever again. And sorry that it took so long, but writing with a broken hand wasn’t so easy 🫠

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made 😅).

[shesjustanothergeek]

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|

Part Fourteen

Master List of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the late update. Life has been pretty stressful these past three weeks, but not as bad as before. I finally finished all the required exams to become licensed in what I do, and now I have to wait for the results. I'll probably be starting a job in the coming months, so I might have to go back to uploading every two weeks like before. I'll keep y'all updated. Also, while researching, I realized this story has a cannon time frame. It's 127 AC to 129 AC, so everyone has a definite age. You're welcome. :)

Chapter Warnings: Period accurate sexism. 

"He was pointing at the moon, but I was looking at his hand." - Richard Silken, The Worm King's Lullaby.

It was two days before you woke. The stars were sparkling in an endless sea of the night sky, the waning moon reflecting a mirror image of itself over Blackwater Bay. You were surprised no one had come to wake you. It was rude for a guest to sleep the days away in someone's home, but you were exhausted.

So much had happened when you arrived at Kings Landing, resurfacing old memories you desperately pushed down. The pain was too great to sift through, tears heating your eyes whenever you thought of them. It was easier to ignore your hurt and squash it into a hardened cluster of untouched emotions, constantly pushing it deeper and deeper until it cracked from the pressure, exposing it raw.

You went to the great wardrobe on the other side of the guest chambers, wrapping a robe around your shoulders as you headed to the balcony. The small ship with your belongings arrived a few hours after you did, and everything was neatly organized into its designated place as if you had lived there your whole life. You supposed a part of you did, a piece never entirely leaving the haunting red rock walls.

There was a thickness in the air. The heavy humidity clung to your skin, making you feel sticky and damp, sweat accumulating in the warmer parts of your body even with your thin nightgown. Your room was on the upper levels of the palace, overlooking the never-ending labyrinth of sandstone and mudbrick houses. The ones closest to the Keep had tile roofing. Thoughtfully crafted peaks sloped down to let water drain on the rare occasion it rained, but the further you looked, the more you saw that foresight was lost. Straw and flat stones comprised the cupolas as timber support beams stuck out of the foundation, built for longevity and not fashion.

You were mainly awake now, although sleep still clung to your eyelids. A leaf had snuck its way onto the railing before you, a crispy tan color with holes in its body, a sign of the changing seasons. You watched it drag across the intricately crafted banister before being swept away as quickly as it landed. A strong breeze brushed your bare legs, feeling it weave through your long gown; you pulled your silken robe tighter.

Your limbs controlled themselves as you moved to your chamber doors, slowly opening them as you peeked out. As you suspected, the guard was slumped over, the hour of the owl upon him as you slipped out. You still recalled your time in the guest wing, traversing the long hallways to your intended destination.

The leaf reminded you of your brief moments spent at the Godswood. Your fleeting moments had you longing for a genuine opportunity to appreciate the acre of land it stretched on. You never had enough time to truly understand the beauty of it while you were here, caught up in the constant rotation of lessons and duties before your legitimization.

Elm, alder, and black cottonwood grew there, looking over the Blackwater Rush. Your old Septa Mariam had explained the history of a Godswood. You could remember her lecture as you sat in the lesson room, staring longingly out of the pane-glass windows.

When the First Men converted to faith in the Old Gods, after the Pact between the Children of The Forest, they created Godswoods. They were groves within their castles and villages where a single Weirwood, also known as a Heart Tree, would be planted so the Gods could be worshipped. Each tree was carved with a face, said to have been done by The Children during the dawn, centuries before the First Men. Before the treaty was made, while the war was waged between the Children of The Forest and the First Men, they cut down every Weirwood they found. They thought the greenseers of the Children, who could influence plant life and have prophetic dreams, could see through the faces.

The most severe oaths and vows are said before the Heart Trees, believing you are standing before the Old Gods when you do. To break a promise that was noted in the presence of the Gods was a means to a fate worse than death. Septa Mariam did not believe that to be true, going as far as to demonize the unpopular faith for believing in what she said were false idols. The dedication of the Seven was the only truth to her.

You didn't care or know much about religion before being found, only knowing the Seven as that was the most common belief and what the people of Kings Landing practiced. You didn't believe something so transcendent could reside in such a lecherous place, but when you stepped into the Godswood for the first time in years, the wind blowing through your ebony hair, you couldn't help but feel everything was true. 

Even in the heart of a secular city, you could feel the Old Gods watching with their unseen eyes, hidden within the rocks and the trees, settled into the blades of grass and dirt under your shoes. Their stares did not frighten you. Strangely, within their watchful gaze, you felt comforted. It felt mystical, a blanket of infinity enveloping your flesh in something otherworldly. You were welcomed in a place full of people who did not want you.

You walked to the Weirwood tree that stood ghastly in the darkness. Its bark was as pale as bone, its leafs as red as the blood coursing through your veins. The slender white branches shook in the autumn wind, the crimson foliage floating onto the sod beneath it.

You traced the tips of your fingers delicately across the truck, feeling its rough texture as you placed your forehead upon it. It had only been a short period in which you resided at the Red Keep, but your mind felt like it had been an eternity. You longed for the smell of brimstone and salt, a sulfuric scent no one besides Aegon the Conqueror was thought to enjoy. That scent was home to you, a place full of family, where you had fond memories of love and belonging. Your heart ached to see them again even though you had barely left.

You wished to ruffle your digits in Luke's curly brown hair, grab Jace by the scruff of his neck, rub your knuckles on his scalp, and pinch Joffrey's cherubic face until he swatted your hands away with his much smaller ones. You yearned to see your kin again. The people here that called themselves were anything but.

Peace had finally set into your limbs as you sighed through your parted lips, the isolation sinking into nothingness. You lowered yourself to the damp ground as you nestled between two winding roots and peered through the gaps of leaves above you, looking into the vast amounts of stars that twinkled in the darkness.

You thought about nothing anymore, staring into the sky as you heard the faint scraping of shoes. Assuming it was just a servant or perhaps a guard, you ignored them, breathing deep into your chest. The clatter of metal against stone rang through the night, disturbing your harmony. Barely audible sounds of dissatisfied rumblings caused you to sit up with a scowl, squinting to see the disturbance.

Almost imperceptibly, you saw the silhouette of a man bent over as he gathered a pitcher off the ground. You knew without a second thought who it was, debating with yourself if you should lend a hand. He seemed well enough as he scooped it up, stumbling to gather his footing. You settled back into your spot, sighing as you nestled your head back onto a pale root.

Just as your body had begun to slip into a relaxed state, the same piercing metal sound happened again, and you opened one unamused eye, sighing.

"Having difficulty?" you questioned with a snark into the night, not moving.

"Fuck," you heard him mumble, a dull thud following.

At that, you finally moved, propping yourself up on your elbows as you glared at him with a hooded gaze.

"Aegon, must I fetch your Mother?" you taunted, a wicked grin burning your cheeks.

Aegon snapped his head from his place on the ground towards you, a surprised look on his face. He believed you were in his mind at first. The cups he had lost himself in filled his head with thoughts of your gentle touch, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear as you whispered his name. He now knew it was the Arbor Red talking.

"I..." He staggered upwards, brushing his palms on his trousers, recovering quickly, much to your chagrin, "am perfectly well, dear heart."

Your stomach flipped for a reason you did not know. You didn't like how he spoke, uncomfortable with what they made you feel. It reminded you of something Rhaenyra would say, an intimate person you longed to be with again, as your eyes looked anywhere but at the drunken prince.

"You certainly appear so," you commented sarcastically, leaning more weight onto your elbows as you sighed. "Why are you awake, my Prince?" He did not indicate if he had heard you, only gazing into the vast acre of the Godswood.

Despite your voice's calm, almost emotionless tone, the flesh of your bottom lip found its way between your teeth as you sat up, pressing your knees to your chest and resting your chin on them. A short silence fell as Aegon gathered his bearings, stumbling over to you as you pulled your legs closer.

He stopped beside your slippered feet, staring at the shaking leaves above, some falling onto the soft grass as a cool breeze swept through the grounds. You couldn't understand why your toes curled at his presence, your hands suddenly sticky and uncomfortable and griping the hem of your nightgown. You wondered if he could sense it, your whole body tensing as he grew bored of the leaves and plopped next to you. You hoped he was too drunk to notice.

You swallowed thickly, the sound loud and audible as you picked at the blades of grass. Aegon didn't hear the loud clicking in your throat, focused on flipping the metal pitcher upside down as the last few drops of Arbor Red dripped onto his pink tongue. Unlike you, he seemed comfortable in the silence, quietly humming to himself as he wiped the excess drink with the back of his hand.

The guilt from how you treated Aegon when you found him crept up your spine, stinging your ears as your face burned at the memory. He was kind to you, albeit obstinate at times, but nothing terrible. He defended you before his mother, the Queen Consort of the Seven Kingdoms! On the other hand, you had spat such vile insults—words he did not deserve within such a vulnerable state. You regretted them deeply, but your pride refused to admit it aloud, your mouth opening and closing with slight intakes of breath as you fought to apologize.

"Why did you not return my letters?" Aegon abruptly asked, distracting you from your inner turmoil.

"I did not receive any."

And that was the truth. No raven from the Red Keep was ever directly for you until Queen Alicent. They were all intended for your mother, father, and the few Lords that spent their time at Dragonstone.

"Do not think me a fool," he spat without warning. "I sent you a letter every moon for a year, and even then, when you did not respond, I sent one to my half-sister, begging her for you to write to me." You stared at him bewildered, your mouth slightly agape as your heart sank. "I just..." he began, cutting himself off as his mouth became wet, "I only wanted to know if you were well. After everything that happened all those years ago, I would expect one to feel a need for comfort and companionship."

Aegon had no intention of belittling you; he only wanted to show you the compassion which you had been neglected of. Your instinct was to deny any need for sympathy, feeling offended that he thought you could not handle yourself, but you realized that was not the truth. The bitterness you harbored for his mother and grandfather had muddled together into a mess of resentment and rage for all who surrounded them, even those who had no part in it.

The moonlight reflected in his glassy eyes as you touched his cheek. You had never realized how pink and plump his lips were until they trembled in the silver lighting.

"I swear to you, Aegon, on the Seven, upon my late mother's grave, that I had no knowledge of the letters you sent me." You had to bite your tongue not to add that even if you did, you wouldn't have written to him anyways. The blinders of anger kept you from reason back then.

You saw how his face fell from the contorted pain your supposed rejection gave him to one of sad relief. "I must extend my apologies then," he said, attempting to move his cheek from your hold. You did not let him, leaning closer to him as you brought the other one to keep him in place.

"No, Aegon. It is I who must apologize." He stared at you in confusion, his light brown eyebrows furrowing together. Rubbing your thumb over the creases between them came naturally to you. You had done it with your brothers when they were upset, tracing over the lines and structure to calm them.

"Despite my lack of patience and disregard for you, you have continually shown your heart bare, and I..." you paused, willing your voice not to crack, "cannot thank you enough. You have only showered me with kindness and hospitality since I have stepped foot in Kings Landing. Even when I did not deserve it, you defended my honor so valiantly it would put my brothers to shame." You smiled, picturing Jace and Luke's faces as if they had heard the Queen call you a bastard. "Although I must admit my confusion surrounding your ravens. I never received any word from you, and I cannot fathom who would bar them from me."

You did have some ideas of who it was and why they did it, but it still upset you, even if you would have burned the letters anyway.

The tension in Aegon's brow loosened at the delicate swipes of your thumbs, shutting his bloodshot eyes in appreciation. He still looked the same boy you left for Dragonstone, though the dark circles on his porcelain skin were more prominent, and his hair was shorter. You watched him tuck his lower lip in his mouth, still quaking. You couldn't stop the way your hands slid back down his face, cupping his jaw in your palms as you tugged his wet lip from between the confines of his teeth, the dry pad of your finger sticking to the soft skin.

He opened his eyes at the movement, his violet irises nearly black to focus in the darkness. You gave a small smile, not fully stretching your face as you dropped your hands, finding his clenching the loose fabric of his trousers; his knuckles blanched as you took them in your own. You inhaled sharply to speak but thought better of it as you shuffled closer to Aegon, the fine hairs on your arm tickling his.

***

You weren't sure when you had fallen asleep within the Godswood, the birds chirping as the morning sun rose above the trees. Your back ached as you attempted to stretch your body, only to find the silver-haired head of a prince on your lap. You didn't remember inviting him to rest there, but you didn't wake him, his pouty lips slightly parted as he softly snored.

Aegon looked so sweet like this, like an innocent child who had yet to discover the atrocities of the world. Your fingers itched to run through his hair, to scrap his scalp until he purred into your touch. This was wrong, and you knew it, having the notoriously hedonistic prince lying like a babe on your plush thighs. You wondered what your father would do if he caught you.

The most obvious answer was that he would be furious, most likely at Aegon, and pull him by the short locks attached to his head and onto the ground. Deamon would spit pure venom from his lips, a fit of anger you had only ever seen him display once before, and then he would turn to you. He wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't need to. You could see everything he wanted to convey in his eyes. There would be a mix of frustration, confusion, and disappointment. You would explain what had happened and try to convince him his wrath was directed at the wrong person.

Aegon was just a byproduct of the people he hated, the green bitch and her cunt of a father, Daemon called them. You would explain that Aegon had no desire to rule nor the capability, even though he had not said that himself. Your father would argue that no man will turn away the opportunity to be the most powerful being in all the realm. Once Aegon understood he could have everything he desired, there would be no refusal. Would a man lost in the desert refuse a drink of water simply because it was not from the springs?

You would agree with your father. He was right, after all. He was always right. Daemon knew of the darkest wants everyone had. He could read people and bait them to reveal whatever he wanted them to. You admired him for that. It was a trait you hoped to possess eventually. You realized then that you needed to find something Aegon would covet more than unlimited power. You had to make him crave something more intoxicating.

A lump formed in your throat as you gazed down at the sleeping prince who had not stirred during your dissociation. You knew that only one thing could sway him from saying yes to the crown, and your eyes burned with tears at the thought.

You inhaled a shuttering breath, willing the water not to spill as you brought a shaking hand to Aegon's frizzy hair, running your fingers on his scalp.

"It is time to wake up, my Prince," you leaned into his ear, gently whispering. "The sun has risen, and there is much to do."

Aegon still refused to open his eyes. He groaned, rolling onto his side and shoving his face below your navel. You grinned, quietly laughing as you lifted his chin to meet your gaze.

The angle you moved him to caused his neck strain, a bright blue vein popping on his milky skin. You could almost see it throbbing as the flesh thinned. Your finger found its way to it, tracing the turquoise line that expanded from his jaw to his clavicle to where it joined the rest of his body. You caught his twinkling lilac eyes in your brown ones, the vessels within them no longer prominent as he blinked sleep away. Aegon sat up, shifting his body weight onto his palm as your finger stopped its movements on the stained undershirt he wore.

He said nothing as he moved to his knees, his free hand cupping the underside of your jaw in the juncture between his thumb and index. His touch was not quite as tender as yours was, squeezing the area tightly, almost as if he was afraid you would turn away. You felt your heart rate quicken, your lungs suddenly telling you to fill them with more air as his thumb stroked your chin, extending to expose the raw flesh from your nervous habit.

You didn't register that Aegon had moved, his face closer than what you would deem appropriate, as your lips quivered.

"You are shaking, little one," he stated, the gravel of his tired voice rumbling in your chest.

"I am?" you breathed, your body feeling powerless.

You wanted to be strong, as you were taught to be. Yank your face out of his grasp and dust off your dress as you left, but you couldn't. He made you weak. One look at his angelic face and your limbs were putty. Your eyes began to heat with tears again, your stomach fluttering with unfelt emotions.

"Princess," a man called from the entrance to the castle.

You jerked away faster than you thought possible, wobbling to your feet, lightheaded. It was only because you stood so quickly, nothing else.

"My Lady," one of the Cargyll twins stood, bowing his head stiffy as you approached him. "I was altered by her Grace Queen Alicent that there is to be a Council meeting at high noon. She wishes for you to attend."

"Thank you, Ser Erryk." A self-satisfied smirk curved your lips as you spoke, partially because you knew what Alicent had to do for you to be invited and the other because you had guessed to twin correctly based on how his blue eyes widened at the correct name. "If you have time, alter my maids that I wished to have a bath drawn. The air here is not what I am accustomed to."

"Why does Mother want her at a Council meeting Erryk," Aegon questioned too late, you already walking underneath the stone covering of the Keep.

You bristled at the informal way he addressed the knight, raising your eyebrows as you turned to watch the pair.

Ser Erryk was stiffer than you when you had spoken to Ser Criston Cole a few nights prior, tensing as Aegon came closer. "I am not certain of the reason, my Prince. It is not my place to question the Queen's decisions."

Aegon scoffed, stuffing his loose shirt into his pants to seem somewhat put together. He turned to you, his face asking if you wanted to spend hours deliberating with a bunch of stuffy, rich old Lords and his mother.

You made no protest like he had expected you would, remembering how much you disliked the small meetings you had to attend for your legitimization. He frowned deeply, childishly stomping as he sat on a wooden bench against a pale red rock wall.

"Do not sulk, Prince Aegon. It is unbecoming. I would hate for you to be in such a sour mood when we meet again." Your face and voice were stoic, but there was a light behind your eyes, only one that Aegon could see.

He crossed his arms, flipping his hair out of his vision as he continued to pout, though you swore you saw a hint of his smile ghost his lips as he turned away.

***

Once your maids of the Keep had brushed and washed your tangled hair, smoothing lavender and clary sage oils into the long strands and on your skin, they put the black tresses into a braided style similar to the one Visenya wore. It was simple yet regal, and when paired with the deep crimson of your dress, a golden three-headed dragon curling around the expanse of your breasts and wide neckline, it was sure to conjure the image you wanted—a fierce Targaryen princess born and bred of fire and blood.

The Small Council had to respect you in the sense of your rank, bowing and calling you a lady of the realm, but that was all pointless, nothing but supercilious words inside the Chamber. Lords would not adhere to the opinions of a woman, no matter if she was queen or not, and with Rhaenyra residing in her self-imposed isolation for the past years, neglecting her courtly duties, it only made things more arduous.

Your father had mentioned Grandsire appointing him to the Small Council in times past, but the positions always bored him. He felt the call to act while the other members sat and only wanted to debate. The world was moving faster than the Lords could discuss, and with how lawless Kings Landing was at the time, Daemon knew only action would fix it. He had created the Gold Cloaks, and after the night of bloodshed and savagery you had heard about when young, he was never allowed a chair again.

A guard had come for you when you were ready, leading you to the Council Chambers.

The doors were already open, and a few men sat discussing amongst themselves. You recognized one, heart-stopping and body freezing, his image forever seared into your memory. Ser Otto Hightower had greyed some, his hair was still the same wiry brown, curly beard brushed neatly as allowed, and hair slicked back with oil. The bronze hand pin poked proudly through his lapel's embroidered deep green fabric.

You felt your lungs shrink, refusing to let you inhale. Your chest began to hurt, your mouth becoming thick and your jaw quivering as you stood in the doorway, your presence so unimportant as not to go announced.

You couldn't think. You couldn't breathe. You couldn't move. All you could do was stare at the man who sentenced your loved ones to death. He shoved their heads on spikes and placed them on the battlements of the Red Keep for all to gawk and ogle. A punishment that was only served to those who betrayed the crown.

Everything seemed to move slower, your eyes focusing and unfocusing on the Lords surrounding the table. One laughed, a man with golden hair lifting his head back lightly to bellow one out. Another sniffled, wiping his nostril with his forefinger and running a hand through his thick beard before continuing his conversation with the nearly dying man beside him.

You were terrified, a fawn left alone in the woods, helpless to watch as a pack of wolves feasting on its mother's corpse. Your instinct was to run from the danger, run as far and as fast as your legs could carry you until all you could see was the top of the Tower of the Hand. You wanted your mother. You wanted your father. You wanted your brothers... You wanted your family. Why couldn't they be here with you? It was high time Rhaenyra took her place as the heir and ran the kingdom instead of the Hand, but she wasn't. She wouldn't. She felt her place was with her family on Dragonstone, eating candied lemon cakes and fish as she taught Jace High Valyrian, uncaring of her future simply because some Houses swore allegiance to her.

Daemon was wise to send you here without telling her. If he had, you were sure she would have attempted to impose her self-ideology and keep you on the volcanic island while Otto Hightower and his daughter continued to run the Seven Kingdoms in their vision.

"Her Grace, Queen Alicent of House Hightower."

Ser Harold Westerling's voice caused you to jump in fright, moving nearly three paces away from the door just in time for Alicent to make her entrance, her hands clasped together.

The Council members all stood from their chairs in respect for her title, but they couldn't help but wander away from the Green Queen and onto the Black Princess, dressed in rich Targaryen red and adorned with golden jewels. You caught the gaze of the black-bearded man, averting your eyes as you bowed to Queen Alicent. She only regarded you with a frown, like you were a frayed string on the seams of her emerald gowns.

She walked further into the Chamber, her back like an iron rod, as she sat at the farthest end of the table. The one meant for the King or the Hand, not the Queen. Her place conveyed a message to the entire room without words, and you made a small expression of disgust as you understood the meaning.

How many doubts for Rhaenyra's claim were planted by Alicent Hightower and not her father?

You finally comprehended how much you had underestimated her sway in the line of succession. You had thought Alicent still had some honor and sense of duty to do what was right, remembering how she could not stand Ser Otto's decision regarding Lyra and Sara. You were wrong. She was just as wicked and conniving as her father, a product of his greed and lust for power. The slight warmth you regarded for Alicent was gone.

During your displeased state of being, you realized that you had not taken the empty seat across from her at the other end of the table. The Lords stared at you, expecting you not to be told what to do as it was apparent. You brushed off their looks as you rolled your shoulders, straightening your posture and taking your place in the oversized wooden chair. A ball was already in its designed hole, reflecting a deep obsidian color as Queen Alicent began to speak.

"I am sure, my Lords, you are all curious about the presence of a new member," she paused, perched on the edge of her wooden seat as she placed her hands on the table. "Upon the orders of Princess Rhaenyra," Alicent lied as you narrowed your eyes at her, "she has sent her daughter as a ward to sit in her stead as the heir." The men all stared at her with wide eyes but kept their mouths shut, knowing it was not their place to question the child of the King.

She nodded to you, signaling she was finished with her short introduction and was allowing you to speak. You flashed a smile at the shocked looks of the grown men, and they all stiffened, a bolt of fear running through them as they saw Daemon sitting before them.

"My mother does send her sincerest regards for neglecting her duty for so long. As many of you know, she has been with child consistently these past years and has felt it unsafe to travel for her and a babe. Most of you sitting here are fathers yourself and I am certain you can understand how tumultuous childbirth can be." You placed your hands on your womb, looking down at the mahogany table with a slightly sad but wistful look, pretending to swallow tears back as you discreetly glanced up to see their reactions.

You had to hold back a snort as they all shared solemn looks, no doubt remembering how the former Queen had lost her life. All men were the same when it came to it, hypocrites and easy to fool with a few sighs and batting of lashes.

"As her Grace mentioned, I am here in her place, and the Princess expects you to extend the same treatment as you would to the heir of the Iron Throne. She has entrusted me with upholding her opinions and desires on matters of the realm." You raised your head, the sorrowful look you had passed now gone as you met each pair of eyes surrounding you. "And I intend to uphold them with unwavering devotion."

Leaning back in your seat, you signaled that you were finished with the introduction, resting your fingers on the shiny obsidian ball before you, but you were not done with your words.

"I realize that it has been some time since our King has set foot in these chambers," you traced the cool orb with your digits. "I, regretfully, have only heard on parchment of his health and wish to be informed of his most recent state."

It felt like all the men could do was stare at you, unable to form coherent thoughts with the upheaval in the order of things. The hand was the first to speak, unsurprisingly.

"The King is well and sends his regards for being unable to attend today. His health has continued steady progress." You kept your eyes down, waiting for the lies to ensue. "Now, I wish to speak on the matters we discussed yesterday of the outdated infrastructure of the Royal Sept. The benches are-"

A scoff left your mouth before you could catch it, interrupting Lord Hightower. "The well-being of the King is not as important as remodeling a sept?" You asked rhetorically, looking at Otto incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Princess," he spoke to you condescendingly, as if you were a fool, "if you wish to inquire about the King's health, I suggest you visit him yourself. We have matters to discuss that you are unaware of due to your sudden attendance."

Otto had practically just told you to silence yourself in much more elegant words. You could barely contain the rage that shook your bones at his rudeness, wanting to jump across the table and strangle him until he turned blue. Instead, you clenched your jaw, settling him with a stare that would kill.

"The King's health is a matter of continued discussion. Should he not be here today? Sitting across from me with his golden crown? Our utmost desire should be to bring King Viserys back to his former self. I believe that takes precedent over the benches in the Royal Sept."

"Your Grace," the frail man spoke, his voice shaking from use during his decades of life. "I am Grand Maester Mellos. I see to the Kings in matters of his health." You nodded to him, waiting for him to continue, his words slow. "I can say with certainty that our King only proceeds to regain more strength and vigor that he had only possessed in his youth." You saw Alicent shift her hands into her lap, focusing on them instead of the old man. "You need not trouble yourself with handled matters."

"Good," you replied with a polite smile, quickly replacing your irritated demeanor as you looked over to Ser Otto. "I will be sure to see him attending the meetings soon, then."

Alicent twitched, her lips tightly pursing as she inhaled deeply. You relaxed lazily in your seat, the wood creaking as you become comfortable in her discomfort. Her anxiety only solidified your conclusion as you saw her pick her nails. They were lying.

You were silent the rest of the two hours the boring lords spoke. Your father's opinion was correct about the dullness of things. It was all frivolous discussion about updating the castle and Sept, replacing the "out dated" tapestries with more modern ones to showcase the future and wealth of House Targaryen. No action. Just talk. You knew that now more than ever, you were needed. If not for the sake of your family's claim, then for the sake of the realm. 

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[theredwritingwitch]

Soulmate Fic- Sign of Booty

Pairing: Ezra x reader

Soulmate AU: Whatever is written on your own skin, then appears on your soulmate’s skin as well

Words: 1.4 K

Warnings: butts, implied sex, ass slap 

Notes: Was writing a big one shot then saw Pedro’s butt...

——————————————————————————

Your fingers trailed up and down his lower back, softly praising the slope of his side and running up the soft muscle all the way up to the hill of his butt. Curling your body over the lower side of the lazy man under you, your cheek rested just above his curving lower cheeks. Your palm touched down on his butt, flowing down the slope to the curve of the back of his thighs. Slowly your hand swooped off his body for a moment and then came back to his supple thigh just to make the sluggish trip back up his butt and around his back to his side.

“If you continue with this enchanting ritual that you are conducting out of your hand, my gem, then I won’t be able to praise you as the goddess you are. Rising from the grave you’re slowly sending me to is not a hat trick I know.” Your hand paused and lifted from the round end of the man that grunted at your pause. “Then again if you stop, I will be of mind to sulk in my loneliness.”

You hummed and smiled into Ezra’s back as your hand went back to stroking his loose muscles. Your miner, your part time lover, huffed out a delighted sigh. The two of you had repeated this night many times before. He would come for a week, sometimes for a day, get his fill of you while also filling you, and leave for his next mining excursion. That’s how the two of you worked. You were around when he needed you, he showed up when you wanted him the most.

It was best to describe Ezra as a swing between a lazy feline laying in the sun and a whirlwind of smoke and shrapnel. Many times Ezra had been content to laze around with you, happy to stroke the inside of your thighs or rest his head on the valley of your chest. But there had been times where you could see his sharp teeth, his bemused and burning grin, his quiet influx to burst into fire and brimstone. Your Ezra was capable of anger to anyone who dared wrong you. But he was capable of flourishing you in pure rays of amber and gold.

“Just a little deeper with those fingers my gem, will you?” Ezra mumbled into his pillow.

Kissing him above his butt, you dug your finger deep into his tissue, huffing when a moan was heard from above your head and large, calloused fingers twisted into your hair. Your nails left faint red marks into his thigh and up his ass.

You adored this man. He was the one you wished to be here forever. When you were with Ezra, you found yourself lost in his lure. He captured your attention indefinitely as you caught him just as well. You never knew when exactly he would show up or when he would leave, but while he was around, it was always just the two of you. Soulmates were far from your mind.

“Don’t need one, I’ve got what I want right here,” he had stated one night as you innocently asked what the future held. Both of you were naked in bed, as was normal, you didn’t dare to look at his determined eyes until he grasped your chin and held you closer to him. “You hear me, gem? I’m keeping you till you leave me.”

You weren’t leaving him though. Maybe one day you would finally meet your soulmate, maybe not, but this man had burrowed his way into your soul, there was no getting rid of Ezra once he had planted his feet. The man was a lover but he was a prospector, the honeyed words flowed from him as he snatched away whatever he found to be treasured. Even if your soulmate showed up at your front door, dressed in a bow, Ezra was the one to close it and lock them out. Often you found yourself being quite  honest with no remorse for a particular thought: you would be happy with his stubbornness.

Your soulmate was out there, you knew it. It had been some time but before Ezra and even at the start of your relationship, you would draw a little something on your skin. Sometimes a to-do list, sometimes a drawing out of boredom. But it gave you a small bit of happiness to know the marks on your skin would show up on your soulmate’s skin. Once in a while you would find marks on your skin as well, additions to your bored musings, their own to-do lists. Then Ezra showed up. While he visited you, there would be no marks. The pair of you were always so tangled with each other, too enthralled to see the rest of the world. 

Eventually the marks stopped. You neither gave them or received. At first you were broken hearted not to see any marks from your soulmate. But then Ezra would walk through the door, and the world was gone. Your soul was for another now. Your mate was lying here in bed under you. 

“You signing your name into my thigh, gem? I swear I can feel the looping and dotting of your signature.”

“Maybe I’m just marking my territory,” you laughed as you propped up your head from your lover’s back and traced your finger up the back of his thigh. “Shall I sign it here, or…” your finger glided up to the cushion of his ass, “Or here?”

“Where the sun don’t shine but the moon does glow,” Ezra chuckled as he lazily opened one eye.

Skimming the hill of his butt one last time, you deepened your nail into his flesh. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to mark him. Signing the swoops and curves of your name to his curved ass, and stamping it with your kiss, you watched the red mark take to his skin. Maybe another soul not under the thumb of a greedy and intoxicating man would wonder about the whereabouts of their lover’s soulmate, but not you. Not a single thought was had to Ezra’s soulmate, if they would ever notice the writing on their ass or not.

Ezra certainly had not thought about soulmates when he rolled to his side, rolling you onto your back, and then hurriedly manhandling you over so your butt was held to the air.

“Branded me just for your eyes, did you?” Ezra growled as he kissed and bit your shoulder. “Shall I return the favor? Give you a beauty mark that only I can admire and worship?” Ezra lowered his trail of kisses and bites to your back, running down your spin to the swell of your own ass. You giggled and you felt the tiny bites and licks run over one ass cheek and then to your next when you suddenly felt nothing but the heat of Ezra’s breath.

Curiously you lifted your head from the pillow to look over your shoulder at your bewildered lover.

“It seems my sweet soul, that there is already an owner of your fine ass…” Ezra admitted with a wide smirk forming on his face.

You turned to see what he was talking about till Ezra’s large hand pushed you back down. “No peeking till I’m done with my art, then I’ll let you have a look.”

Huffing in frustration, you complied, not that you could fight against Ezra’s hold. Ezra didn’t have much for a nail, but he dug in as deep as he could with what he had, running his nail over and over his name till it finally took to your skin. With a swift smack to your ass, a squeak from yourself, you went to stand to look in a mirror to see what he was talking about earlier until the rounded cheeks of Ezra’s ass came right into view. 

“I present to you, our own signed and sealed pack of devotion, my soul.” Before you was one red cheek marked with your own signed name and another untouched cheek with the exception of the signed name of Ezra’s own signature. “What a pair of matching buns we are, aren’t we?” Ezra quipped as he dodged a swat to his own ass from you as you rose to tackle your cheeky soulmate.

[adammbakri]

Kindergarten

I was particularly enchanted by my new brown sandals that day. I don’t recall where we were walking home from, my mother and I, but I knew we were homeward bound. So all was good, and my sandals were the best!

“Hey, do you want to check this out?” my mother said, unintentionally snapping me out of my reverie. I looked to where she was pointing and saw a playground! “YES!” I thought, or maybe I said out loud. I can't quite remember. So my mother carried me over a little wall that separated the street from the playground, and we strolled straight to what was probably the Disneyland of the village: a count of two miserable swings and a rusty slope. My mother must have put me on the swing for a bit or let me slide down the slope a few times before she said “let’s go.”

She held my hand tenderly, like she always did, and walked me towards a small building just a little distance away.

She knocked on a blue metal door. A lady must have welcomed us into what looked to me like a sea of kids! I did not recognize a single soul. The kids were crying, some more intensely than others, some shrieking like it was the end of the world. I was mesmerized by the new spectacle, flabbergasted by the fact that there were more kids like me and adults like my mother! For up until then, and throughout my long life of three and a half years or four, I thought that it was only me, my mom, my sister Yafa, and my brother Ziad (I have no idea why I had no memory of my two other brothers and my father back then). So for a minute that seemed eternal, I entered another reverie, totally forgetting about the new pair of sandals, which I came to conclude years later that my mother had bought for this very special occasion!

I guess my reverie this time was about trying to mentally and emotionally receive what I was forced to meet for the first time in my life: reality, or so it seemed.

I must have become tremendously confused and in desperate need of security. So I reached out in an attempt to hold back my mother’s hand for reassurance, for warmth and safety, for home, for my own version of reality up until then! But to my complete horror, she had disappeared. Absolutely evaporated. Gone. Transformed into the ether. Teleported somewhere else infinitely far from the place and the moment in time I needed her the most.

Obviously, I went straight to the door, but I was too short to reach the handle. The door was locked, and so was I.

It would be an extreme understatement to say that I cried or screamed or banged on the door. I did all that and more. But the worst of it all, the most harrowing, most spine-chilling aspect of the whole experience was the following: nobody seemed to care! The new world I met outside my mother’s lap, AKA heaven, was loveless, strange, and indifferent to my suffering. At least that is how it felt in my barely four-year-old heart.

Later in my young adult life, through years of self-therapy (thanks in part to the above), I learned the following: there are certain events that happen to us as children that seem to define who we are as adults, our outlook on life, the way we see the world and interact with it, how we EXpress and what we are IMpressed by.

Simply put, as children, we are blank pages that one can easily draw upon with whatever colors they want and in whatever shapes they want. The final result of the drawing might - MIGHT… it IS a possibility - miraculously come out just beautiful! The monumental work of the century! An exquisite piece of art! A legend in and of itself! But for the most part, and it is the sad truth: it's a mess! A mess that, at some point in our life - mainly our young adult years or youth - we are faced with the task to sort out, whether we like it or not.

For us to grow, heal, and thrive, we have to be able to grab hold of the page that was used without our invitation - our own page, our birthright! We may not be able to erase what has already been painted, but we can certainly choose our own brush and add the colors we want, give shape to what might be an incoherent, amateurish drawing, straighten a line or curve it, or simply take a moment to observe our personal portrait and breathe!

Breathe…

And contemplate upon what might have been the masterpiece that demanded our attention inward... homeward towards Light.

Maybe… just maybe that was the journey that made Rumi discover that “wounds are the place where the Light enters you”.

Side note: In defense of my beautiful mother, I have to say that she was the best, most loving and kind mother in the world! Never for a second neglecting me or making me feel unloved. This story represents a natural event in every child's life. This "parting" between mother and child happens on every first day of kindergarten. Its impact, however, is naturally different on children and is associated with many other elements that I am not versed in.  

Adam

[birdylion]

Today I tried out some new paths and roads that I hadn't walked before.

A little more about today's adventure. Warning: ticks. So many ticks.

As always when I plan on trying out new trails I took a map with me and used it as practice to stay aware of my location without outside help (like GPS), to anticipate the landscape based on what I saw on the map, etc. Most of the time, it was neither necessary nor difficult because I was walking on a broad gravelled (long-time) logging track, but it was good practice. And it turned out to be necessary after all.

Around here, designated hiking paths are maintained by a volunteer organisation who make sure that the signposts are all where they are supposed to be, that no discontinued path is marked with a sign, etc. These hiking tracks are then marked in a different colour on the available topographic maps than the roads and paths not maintained by the organisation.

So when (after what the map now shows were 6.5 km, even though it didn't feel like it) the sign said to turn from the logging track to a small path and my map marked the path in the right colour and told me it was going in the right direction, towards where I wanted to go, I went down the path.

My intuition said no, which just shows that I should listen to it more. But I thought if signposts and maps say it's the right way to go, then it'll be alright to go there. That was the first bad decision.

Well. First I noticed that the path was definitely not much in use, but I figured that was okay. And true, that wasn't the problem. The problem turned out to be that after I'd already climbed down a good part of a very steep slope (and over and under obstables like entire trees crossing the path) the grass which then grew over the path was infested with ticks. And with that I mean I had to stop every 5-10 meters to clean myself and the dog of ticks crawling all over us. By the time I acknowledged that it definitely wasn't going to get any better (it'd looked like it was just a short part at first, so I continued), I was so deep down on the slope that it seemed better to just continue to the next crossing. Not turning back as soon as I saw the path was overgrown with grass was my second mistake. Until I got to the crossing - it was the lowest part of the path, with all but one paths from there going uphill again - I had to fight ticks, nettles and brambles. Especially the ticks made me really nervous. I'm vaccinated against tick-borne encephalitis but I still don't want to try my luck with the rest of what they can carry, and I don't want my dog to get ill.

At the crossing, I finally made the right decision, chose the right path. They were all overgrown and unmarked though, even though going by the map they should have been marked, but I could still see them. The path up was a bit better than the one I'd come down, much less grass because it was on a drier slope that got more sun.

Then I came to a crossing which was supposed to have a signpost (with destinations and distances instead of just the sign that says that you're still going in the right direction). Well. There was a metal post. It just didn't have any signs. I was so glad for my map because it allowed me to make a second good decision and chose the path that was least likely to bear more ticks, and which led me back to the broad logging track I'd left because I believed the trail signs. (To be fair, without a map I'd never have left the easy road in the first place, so ...)

Going by the map, this offroad adventure was 2 km, but it felt like an eternity. Back on the logging track I decided to go back the same way because it was already late and I knew the sun was going to set soon. Getting back to where I'd left the track were another ~3 km which means when I'm going this way the next time (I still want to reach the destination at the end) I can go the additional km but have a much, much easier and safer time.

I'm tracing the trail with a flexible ruler on the map right now and I'm surprised that I walked ~ 18 km in an evening just like that. It can't have been more than 4 hours.

Anyway, the way back brought me the beautiful evening sunlight that can be seen in the later pictures.

By some miracle, I haven't found a single tick on myself so far, not even the tiny baby ticks that just look like dots. I checked the dog extensively and multiple times for as long as he would tolerate, pulled several out of his fur (many before they even bit), will check again tomorrow, and hope that he's going to be okay.

I may need a new map, mine is a few years old. Now that I'm checking it ... almost 15 years. Perhaps newer maps show different paths.

It was quite the adventure, but (barring possible consequences, we'll see about that) absolutely worth it. I never tire of this landscape. I'm so lucky to live here.

[beaubambabey]

Now that I've finished BG3, I have Thoughts

I had to turn my beautiful first Tav Mr. Robbie Roh-Tane aka the time I accidentally made Shadowheart her very own big brother and got too attached and made up a backstory where he went off to bard college to bring smiles to the children of Faerûn because he found joy and purpose in making his little sister laugh but came back to find his family home massacred and his family nowhere to be found which led him to a sad slippery slope where he used drugs to cope for decades until the nautiloid forced him into the Absolute's rehab program and then proceeded to role-play as this strange reunited sibling dynamic... into a mind flayer. which is so fucked up

Robbie aka Rhysander who I will proceed to call Rhys for the rest of this post was made to look pretty and convince people to not fight him. This meant he was Not Very Good At Not Dying which is Bad

Rhys and Astarion broke up after the brain went down because I didn't want to force Astarion to stay with a mind flayer who's slowly losing himself when he came into this relationship for a pretty boy half-elf that championed personal freedoms above all else and encouraged him to think about what he wanted. Which is Fucked

THE FACT. THAT IN A GAME WITH SO MANY CHOICES. IT CAME DOWN TO BECOMING A MIND FLAYER. OR LETTING THE ONLY HOPE OF AN ENSLAVED PEOPLE BECOME FOOD FOR A MIND FLAYER. OR MAKING SAID HOPE BECOME A MIND FLAYER. IS F U C K E D

LIKE. Fuck The Emperor man.

Why can't you manipulate him back this fucking sucks

He was LITERALLY BALDURAN HIMSELF. HE FOUNDED THIS LITTLE HELLHOLE. HE WAS A HERO ONCE AND HE FUCKED OVER THE PEOPLE WHO CARED ABOUT HIM IN THE SERVICE OF MORE ILLITHID POWER AND NOW YOU TOO CAN CONTINUE THE CYCLE YAY FUN FUN

Like yeah I know you can pretend you're still yourself after all this time even as a mind flayer and that you're not gonna make the same mistakes but like??? Y'all

I personally think it would be cool to have come to a compromise with The Emperor where he can eat as many Absolutist brains as he wants on his way up and we help him dominate the Netherbrain but Orpheus goes free but that's just me and my love of No Sacrifices Here Except Your Own Ego

Like honey. It's not my fault the Elder Brain evolved with the addition of an incredibly powerful magical artifact. That's just gonna happen whether we like it or not

I cried when Lae'zel thanked Rhys for his sacrifice. That felt so fucking meaningful and made it all worth it. For a while at least

Maybe I should've put more worms in my brain. Would I still have needed to go full illithid if I became part illithid with the Astral-Touched Tadpole? Much To Think About

It's really sweet that Halsin would still willingly kiss your squiddy face. I love him. Thanks, Daddy Halsin. May you and your nine cartloads of kids you adopted live a long and peaceful life

I cried every time someone hugged Rhys as a mind flayer. It must be such a lonely existence, becoming a monster and cutting off contact with the people you've come to care deeply for.

Shadowheart's ending where she and her parents build a little homestead with so many animals is so cute. She's so happy and delightful. I would become a squid a million times over to give that to her

In roleplay context, it's so bittersweet if you think about being reunited with your sister and parents only to have to stay away from them so you don't subject them to the monster you've become. They live their happy life together and you steer clear of it because you can't bring yourself to ruin it by staying long enough for the hunger to catch up to you. But when you come to the reunion party six months later, the sister you've searched for through the fugue state your loss put you in, the one you saw in every child you've saved, who fought by your side this whole time while you unwittingly mourned her, who you rebuilt your sibling relationship with during this adventure, finally gets to know the parents you got to know. Finally gets to live as herself and be happy and free. And she hugs you sweetly, in spite of your monstrous appearance. She got to have a big brother to protect her when it mattered most, and now she's grown enough to walk her own path in life. I couldn't be happier.

I ran out of inspiration points trying to dominate the brain like an IDIOT and couldn't feasibly convince Gale to NOT become a God. Poor Tara. Poor Mrs. Dekarios. Poor me for having to stare at Gale's chrome nipples. We will discuss this tragedy with Morena over tea.

I made sure to go back and do the Iron Throne rescue before fighting Ansur just to make Wyll into the Blade of Avernus so Karlach wouldn't die. And I'm happy with that decision. Seeing Karlach's face as she reports her findings and compliments your squiddy mug is so fucking sweet.

I was sobbing after we killed Gortash hearing about how her revenge just didn't feel worthwhile and how she was gonna die anyway and. I'm so glad she's still alive in this run

Talked with my buddy who romanced Wyll and made him Grand Duke and he said he made Karlach into a mind flayer and she was chill about it. Idk how to feel but it's nice there are options. Don't know if Rhys would let that happen since it's taking her freedom away and sacrificing her feels wrong but since I'm doing the Netherbrain fights again I'll see what I can do

I'm genuinely tempted to get the No Party Limit mod because it feels wrong to take people out for the final boss.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANY GOOD REACTIONS TO ORPHEUS PUTTING YOU ON BLAST FOR FUCKING THE EMPEROR

SERIOUSLY

"You fornicated with an illithid!" And nobody says shit? Not even your partner??? Fucked up

You can ask for one last kiss before the final boss. I didn't realize it would be the last kiss Rhys and Astarion shared

I'm still fucked up about that but. I'm glad to see him happy. My Radiant Hopeful ❤️

Lae'zel chose to go with Orpheus at the end. Didn't try to steal Rhys away from Astarion to fight in the war. Probably because Rhys turned squid. Sad

I'm so exhausted. But by the gods that was a good game.

[awkwardspontaneity]

Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹

I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!

✨ requests are open✨

Warning: angst, cheating

Revali🐦

I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares

But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist

It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated

They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently

It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.

Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him

Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain

You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?

You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.

CRASH

The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.

"Y/n-"

"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."

Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"

Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.

"I accused you, not have you permission."

"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.

"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."

Link 🗡️

Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities

Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship

That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.

It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.

You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.

Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.

Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.

You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.

You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.

Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?

------

Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.

That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.

However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.

"I saw you and Zelda together."

His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.

"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."

As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.

Sidon🦈

You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms

You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.

You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.

Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future

It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.

Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.

You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.

They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.

You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.

What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.

You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.

You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.

"Y/n?"

You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.

Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."

"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."

This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."

The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.

"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."

You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.

"I love you, always."

[warmaidensrevenge]

Tom loses it.

Tom Grant x Plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

I shall end this fic here. I would like to keep going but I have some others I would like to start on. So thanks for reading. I know it's short but I want to get back to end my vamp series. So apologies for the lazy writing.

Warning: sexual implications, arguing and fluff not proof read and no word

Summary: at a party things get out of hand.

Part 9

🖤🤍

So the plan was to move to London after the season. You had spent most of spring training the new person taking over the kitchen. All Tom knew was the new employee was named Kit. He never saw him because you guys didn't eat in the dining hall anymore. And you never really talked about him. So Tom just shrugged it off. He spent a lot of time fixing as much as he could before you guys moved. Showing the new guy what regularly needed maintenance and showed him when everything was.

It was one day he was walking with the new handyman through the dining hall to introduce you to him. That's when he saw a woman holding on to your bicep. Laughing and rubbing it. You didn't seem to be uncomfortable with what was going on. But Tom definitely was.

You saw him and waved. He gave you a quick smile before waving you over. You came after a few seconds.

After introductions, you and Tom headed back to the camper. You were in the shower when Tom stood in the small doorway.

" Who was that?"

"Who?"

" That woman you were talking to in the kitchen."

" Oh that's Kit. I told you about her."

" You didn't mention she was a woman."

" Really? Huh. I'm sorry. Yes kit has a vagina."

You turned of the water and Tom handed you a towel.

" Thanks babes."

Tom looked you up and down.

" What?" You questioned him.

" Nothing love. You're just beautiful."

" Not tonight ok. I'm tired. But first thing in the morning. I'll wake you up with something special." You winked at him

He gave you a kiss before he went to get you some clothes. He pulled out a shirt that's he never seen before. It was a college shirt that he never heard of. You didn't go to college. And he went in London. So who's was this?

You came behind him and kissed the slope of his neck.

" Where did this come from?"

" Oh that's Kits. I accidentally spilled some gravy all over me. She had a spare shirt in her room so instead of coming back here I changed there. I meant to give it back. But I guess I forgot."

You took it out of his hands and folded it neatly and put it on the kitchen counter.

Thoughts of you shirtless in another woman's room brought all the feelings he had after Ruth. His anxiety was making him shake.

You came back in and kissed his cheek and grabbed a shirt and panties. Tom change as well and laid down. He watched you brush your hair and put it in a loose braid before you came to lay with him.

" You ok Thomas. You seem kinda out of it."

" No I'm fine Love. Just tired."

" Did you see the house I booked marked on Zillow?"

" Yes I did. It's small. We need at least a 3 bedroom."

" Yeah right. Sorry. I'll look for something bigger tomorrow."

" Something with a huge backyard for the children."

" Of course babes." You kissed him and turned off you light.

Just like that his worries went away. You loved him. We are moving to London and we are getting married. Planned on having as many babies as you could. He pulled you into his chest like always and kissed the top of your head.

" I can't wait until you're my wife."

" Me too. Love you sweetie.

" Love you too"

...

Season was finally over and you guys were getting ready for an engagement/farewell party the others were throwing for you two. You guys were hand in hand when you walking into the dance hall.

You guys made your way through the small crowd saying your hellos and thanks. You and Tom danced the night away.

" Are you ready love?"

" mmm Thomas let's say our goodbyes."

He nodded and you guys separated. Tom and some of the guys were hauling the gifts you guys got to a truck. When Tom came back he saw you talking to Kit. She had a hand on your arm. You guys were laughing and what looked like to Tom. Flirting....

When Tom saw her give you a kiss, he was boiling mad. He waited for kit to leave when he approached you.

" What the hell was that?!"

You looked at him confused.

" umm what do you mean? Why are you yelling?"

" She kissed you!"

" Thomas she kissed me on the cheek. She was just saying goodbye."

" I don't fucking care what she was doing. Why would you let her do that?!"

You looked and everyone was watching you two. You held out your hand and gave them a silent apology.

" Well?!"

" Thomas please. Don't ruin this night. Let's go back to the camper and we will talk about this in private."

"NO!"

" Fine. If this is what you want I'm not dealing with this. It is embarrassing. And when you calm down. Come find me. I'll be at home. Packing for London."

Tom watched you walk away and apologize to the others before you left. Frank approached Tom.

" Son what's going on?"

" It's that woman. She's after my lady mate."

Frank laughed. " Kit's married Tom. And last time I check you were on your way down the isle too."

" That hasn't stopped anyone before."

"Tom you are not a child anymore. Talked to y/n. I'm sure that she could tell you what is actually going on."

Tom agreed and went home.

...

He stood outside for a minute trying to come up with an apology. When he finally went in you were packing up the kitchen.

" Love?"

You didn't look at him you just pointed at a book on the counter. He went to it and saw a picture of you two on the front. With the words ' so it begins ' on the front. He flipped through the album. It was a time line of pictures when you guys started to date. Toward the end was the date of the wedding.

"Kit made that for us."

He felt like a complete ass. You turned to him.

" Thomas I get your insecurities about other women. But have I ever done anything to make you question my loyalty to you?"

"No love."

" Ok then. Just remember I'm not Ruth. I love you and I want to spend the rest of life with you."

He nodded and went to hug you.

"Love I'm so sorry. I promise if I have any doubts. I will talk to you."

" Please do. Because without trust or communication we are gonna have some real problems."

" of course. No problems. Just love."

...

Tom was so nervous sitting in the obstetrician office. He watched the doctor moving the instrument around your belly. He heard the heart beat. After 4 long years you had finally got pregnant. He had his doubts at first. But now you guys were there watching your baby on the monitor.

" Looks like triplets." The doctor said.

You looked at him with wide eyes.

" Three? There are three? Three babies?" Tom was in complete shock.

" Yes." The doctor pointed out three little peanuts.

"Oh my god Thomas. Three little babies"

Tom kissed you and met your forehead with his after. He started to cry tears of happiness.

He chuckled. "Three little ones."

"Hope your mom is willing to help us."

" Are you joking? She's been waiting a long time for this."

" Us too."

...

[talkfantasytome]

Pizza's Here

They've all gotten cozy, and dried off in Aelin and Aedion's case. Now it's time for their first dinner together, and Rowan's in for a bit of an awakening about a certain someone's tastebuds.

Warnings: None | Word Count: 1,888 | ToG Masterlist

Previous Part | Staghorn Slopes Masterlist | Read on AO3

a/n: For Travel/Vacation day of Rowaelin Month. Better late than never, right? XD

It only took me 9 months, but finally got the next part up! 😄 All for Rowaelin Month. I'll hopefully do more during the winter season, but wanted to post something for this celebration, and it's the only piece I have that was anywhere near close to ready. I'll try to work on some other pieces, but with Nessian Week and now Dreamlight Valley, I've been distracted. 😬

"PIZZA'S HERE!"

Perfect timing.

Aelin had just changed out of her wet clothes and into a new pair of leggings and a plush, fuzzy sweater to warm up.

She turned the fireplace on in her cozy bedroom - to warm it up while they ate - and left the room.

At the last step on the stairs that led to her room, Aelin froze.

There, walking down the corridor that led to the room just below hers, was the silver-haired paragon of perfection her cousin had been hiding from her. She'd get Aedion back for that later.

Or maybe she wouldn't. Seeing as he'd apparently agreed to let this man - Rowan - take the other bedroom in this little wing. Aedion either wasn't thinking, was too focused on something else, or had a lot of faith in his friend to allow him in such close and secluded proximity to Aelin.

The fool.

Rowan was like a god in human form. So tall her eyes just barely peaked over his shoulders, and broad enough to probably be near two times her width. His muscles were corded and clearly defined, even beneath the long-sleeved, Orynth Stags T-shirt he was wearing.

His rolled up sleeves revealed the start of a tattoo on his left forearm, the black letters of an old, unreadable language traveling up beneath the fabric, all the way to his collar, where the ends of it were just barely visible.

Her eyes continued up until they fell on that glorious, pine green stare that hadn't left her mind since she first saw it.

Meeting his gaze set her heart fluttering so fast she was sure he'd hear it, too.

"Hey," he offered awkwardly.

"Hey," she said back. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you. I thought Lys was taking that room."

Rowan lifted a golden hand, scratching his head as he replied, "Yeah, she was. But then Aedion said she should take the room at the top of the other set of stairs." He pointed across the dining room to the stairs that came out right by the entrance. Just next to them was another staircase - this one going down - that Aelin knew led to a half floor that had the last two master bedrooms, before then going further to the bottom floor of the cabin, which held the theater, game room, and gym.

She also knew that Aedion's room was just beneath Lysandra's, and had access to a balcony with stairs that went up not only to the second-floor balcony, but also a third-floor balcony that just happened to have a door to the room Lysandra would be staying in.

"Did he?" Aelin asked, smirking to herself.

"He said something about how she should get the other room with a fireplace."

A laugh burst from Aelin, coming out more like a snort as she tried to stop it. "Of course. Very thoughtful of him."

"I'm certainly not complaining," Rowan agreed. He slid his hands into his pockets and rolled his feet. "That room is awesome. And I run warm, anyway."

"Lucky you." She flicked her eyes up and down his body obviously and then strode away to the kitchen where Aedion was already piling a plate high with pizza. Four boxes were spread out over the curved breakfast bar, already opened with each one missing at least one slice. "Are we having a party I didn't know about?"

Turquoise that mirrored her own met Aelin's eyes as Aedion looked away from the pizza. His gaze shifted to something behind her and then he was back on his cousin. "I'm a growing boy. I need sustenance."

"Let's hope that's not the case," Aelin teased, moving around the counter and nudging him. Aedion was almost as tall as Rowan and just as broad, if not more so. He certainly didn't need to get any bigger. Her eyes landed on a plastic bowl full of lettuce at the end of the row of pizzas. "What's that?"

Aedion let out an amused sigh. "I know you don't love vegetables, but I figured you'd at least know what a salad is."

"Yes, smartass, I know what salad is." She rolled her eyes and shook her head softly. "But why is it here?"

"It's for that dork," he answered, pointing at Rowan. He grabbed a fourth piece for his first helping and then joined Lysandra at the nearby, round table. She was already nibbling on a piece of Alfredo pizza.

Aelin turned and faced Rowan, lifting an eyebrow at him expectantly.

He shrugged and explained, "Balance is important."

"So do what he does and get sausage and peppers or something - meat and veg." Aelin jerked her head back toward Aedion and grabbed a plate, taking a piece of the cheese pizza with sauce-stuffed crust.

"That's not going to get me my three to five servings," Rowan chuckled.

Waving her hand at Rowan, she replied, "The food pyramid is crap anyway. It says that sweets should be eaten 'sparingly' and not every day. Who's going to listen to that?"

"Probably people who get salads with their pizza."

"Hmm." Her eyes flicked to the salad he was now mixing. "Those people are missing out on a lot of sweetness."

Rowan met her gaze, a spark of mischief brightening the green. "They find other forms of…sweetness to enjoy."

Aelin's face heated as his eyes slowly traveled down her body.

A loud cough snapped her attention away from the ruinous stare that was about to bring her to her knees. She looked back to see Aedion glowering over at them, chowing down on his pizza feast.

Shooting her cousin an innocent smile, she glided over to the table and sat next to Lysandra.

"Speaking of sweets. You ordered the dessert pizza, right?" she asked Aedion, taking a bite of her own slice, the cheese still warm enough it stretched with the bite and then snapped, a string of it trailing down her chin. She slurped it up fast, laughing softly to herself.

Aedion let out a sigh, taking another bite before he answered. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Aelin repeated.

"He did," Lysandra corrected, laughing softly. "It's staying warm in the oven."

Rowan joined them, his plate full with two slices and a massive pile of lettuce. He sat between Aedion and Aelin and wondered aloud, "Do I even want to know what a dessert pizza is?"

Aelin exclaimed, "Only the best invention ever!"

"It's pie without the top crust," Aedion explained.

Aelin scoffed at his reply. The simplicity, the audacity to compare the two. "It is no such thing! The base is like a pizza crust, only sweetened, or sometimes it's more, like oreo-flavored. And then the toppings are based on the type of dessert pizza. There are s'mores ones, cookies and cream, Reeses, and yes some fruity ones that are like crumbles or pies. But the one we order is the Ultra Deluxe Dessert Pizza." She grinned widely at Rowan.

He stared back with widened eyes, something like concern swimming in them. "And…that would be?"

"It will change your world," she started, folding her hands together in a very Lorelai-Gilmore-like fashion. "It has a sweetened dough base, but the crust is rip-off cinnamon bites, icing for dipping included. A generous layer of melted chocolate is spread as the pizza's sauce. It is then topped with crumble, chocolate chips, hazelnut truffle sprinklings, crushed-up heath bars, and then a drizzling of chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, and a glaze icing. And, finally, garnished with chocolate shavings. You will never be the same."

She bit down on her lips to keep herself from laughing at the face Rowan was making, looking as if just the sound of the dessert might make him vomit.

"That will give you a heart attack."

"And I'll die happy."

Lysandra snorted out a laugh beside Aelin. "I wouldn't try to talk any sense into her, Rowan," she said. "Nothing can keep Aelin from her dessert."

"As if you won't be eating a piece right next to me," Aelin retorted.

Lysandra grinned. "Never said I wouldn't."

"I'm not really into sweets. I think I'll pass," Rowan sighed, shoving a forkful of salad into his mouth.

That wouldn't do. No one could truly hate all sweets. And Aelin wasn't going to let Rowan pass up this experience. Because that's what it was. Eating this pizza, it was more than just a tasty dessert. It was an activity, something she and Aedion loved to do together. Impossible to eat neatly, coming up to the cabin and getting this pizza was like going camping and making s'mores. Non-negotiable and as much about the fun of eating it as it was the actual taste. Which was also phenomenal.

"Sorry, it's a rite of passage. Everyone who stays here has to try it," Aelin decreed.

Rowan sagged, giving her a flat look. Aelin simply returned it with a big grin and triumphant bite of her pizza.

"I'm not eating that."

Rowan stared at the dessert pizza in horror as Aelin began to dole out slices.

"Don't be such a baby. It's not going to kill you," Aelin sighed.

Rowan groaned as she shoved a plate with one of the largest pieces into his hands. "It literally could."

Lysandra couldn't help but chuckle. It had been like this the entire dinner. Rowan and Aelin volleying their words, barely able to focus on anyone else. Aedion glowering at his friend and cousin as he shoved more pizza than Lysandra thought possible into his mouth. She considered attempting to pull his attention to her, to distract him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not with the way Aedion's strong jawline was emphasized with how he'd set it, or how his eyes became like a raging gulf.

It was too amusing. And a bit hotter than it should've been. Something Lysandra chose to 'investigate' as Aedion was distracted, angrily staring at Aelin and Rowan.

"Well, then we'll know you're one of the weak," Aelin shot back.

Rowan glowered, his gaze remaining locked with Aelin's as he brought the piece up to his mouth and took a bite of it. Lysandra could see the distaste in his eyes. She was fairly certain Aelin could, too, but her best friend didn't care. Aelin was too busy grinning triumphantly as he loudly swallowed.

"So," Lysandra whispered, leaning a bit closer to Aedion. "Are you the type of cousin who despises this? Or the kind who will place a bet on when they-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Aedion groaned, interrupting her.

She couldn't help but laugh softly. "So the first kind. Got it." The golden ring in his eyes was like a soft flame as he turned to glare at her. "Well, am I wrong?"

Aedion sighed, "She's basically my sister. I'm allowed to feel protective of her."

"Oh please." Lysandra rolled her eyes as dramatically as possible. "That's just an excuse men use to try and control the women in their lives."

"I learned a long time ago that Aelin can't be controlled," Aedion scoffed. "I'm not an idiot."

"And yet, here you are, clearly wishing you could."

He opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it quickly. Probably unable to come up with an actual response. Lysandra smirked at him triumphantly. She was going to have fun on this trip.

a/n: Okay, so, cause of my dorkiness I'm basing the cabin entirely off of this one, as I've mentioned. However, for those detail-oriented people who'd notice, I am making one change. I've added a balcony (and access to it) to the room Lysandra will have. And then just am extending the staircase by Aedion's room's balcony area so that it reaches that spot, too. Or, well, in reality, it would be more that his balcony and her balcony both have stairs going to the main, second floor balcony. But, well, we all know what our blond boy is thinking about. 😏 I'm also probably going to just ignore all of those extra rooms on the bottom floor cause, like…that's a loooot of extra rooms and beds. lol

@danibutterr @boredserpent @thestoriesyoutell @superspiritfestival @lemonade-coolattas @thegreyj @live-the-fangirl-life @morganofthewildfire @backtobl4ck @nesquik-arccheron @sayosdreams @autumnbabylon @charlizeed @princess-of-the-snake-pitt @rowaelinscourt

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Robotic Workers to Soldiers

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

Taken from the biography “The Fall of Dijballer” written by Uguntus Val

 Breaking a human is easy.

They have no armored exoskeleton, no reinforced scaled skin, not even an enhanced healing metabolism; it is an amazing feat that they have been able to survive on their own planet let alone survive the rigors of space travel.

They are weak and frail creatures of flesh and blood.  One could push them down a simple slope and there was a high chance they could break their arm.

We expected a war with them to be swift and merciless.

Our forces would descend upon their worlds like the waves a ravaging storm and sweep them clean away as we added their colonies to our domain, and continue the glorious expansion of our race. Yet for all our knowledge of human biology we failed to grasp the critical flaw in our plans and strategies until it was too late. The simple truth that could have changed the fate of the war in our favor had we learned it earlier on.

Humans were well aware of their frailty, and they adapted accordingly.

On the colony world of Dijballer we made our first strike. It was a temperate world perfectly designed for year-long farming and capable of sustaining a constant stream of crops to feed a dozen empires when fully developed.

The colony had only been on the planet for ten years and was centered around the initial landing site of the colony ship. A compact industrial center had formed to support the growing colony and several companies had established facilities to support the colony, including several robotics factories that supplied a majority of the work force. What made it even more tempting of a target was that by all accounts it lacked a sufficient military presence, only housing a token police force to maintain order.  

When the war began three legions were dispatched to secure the planet. The twelfth, the third, and the honored first legion that had been present at the beginning of every major war our people had ever fought.

They made planet fall just outside of the main settlement and began steadily advancing through the fields of crops, passing dozens of robotic workers mindlessly going about their work as if the thousands of alien soldiers marching passed was a normal occurrence. The machines were humanoid in shape with two arms and legs, often either using farming tools or manning heavy equipment.

Roughly ten miles outside of the city did we first encounter resistance. We were now in the center of the fields when the rear of the column reported they were under attack. A massive harvester had diverted its course and rammed a troop transport flipping it over. The surrounding infantry opened fire on the vehicle as it attempted to ram a second vehicle. Not being built for military use the vehicle quickly broke down and exploded in a shower of shrapnel and fire, setting several stalks of nearby crops on fire. It was here that the order to halt was given and the column began to reorganize. It was as the Privants were giving orders that the second attack began.

Thousands of farming units sprang out of the stalks on either side of the column like predators of old. In their hands were nothing but farming tools and yet they moved with unnatural swiftness. Before anyone could fire a shot they were among our ranks hacking and slashing us to pieces.

I’ve hear over the years how our soldiers were mocked. How pundits and politicians question how a fully armored legionnaire could be brought down by nothing but farming tools.

Were any of them to say that to my face I would smash their face in; for none of them were there to see what those machines could do.    

They dove and shifted to either side like a blade of grass in the wind. I saw my captain unload an entire clip on full auto at one and it casually darted to either side as if it was nothing but rain as it closed the distance.

When it was within arm’s reach it grabbed it’s scythe and drove it deep into the neck joints of the captain’s armor. The captain barely had time to swat away the metal scythe but the robot merely took its fingered hand and drove it into the unarmored joint itself.

I could hear the captain gurgling blood over the communications net as the robotic monster pulled its hand out of his throat, covered in blood and gore, and stabbed it in again and again and again.

While it was distracted goring my captain I brought my rifle up and brought the monster down with a single shot to the chest. The robot sparked and fizzled as it toppled over, its hand still embedded in the captain as it dragged his lifeless body down with him. I had little time to grieve for my captains death as another trio of farmer units rushed from the stalks at me.

All around me was sheer chaos as the robots swarmed over us like insects. Their fragile bodies meant nothing when their speed and enhanced reflexes made them near impossible to hit.

They knew were the weak spots in our armor were, they were capable of calculating the angle of fire from our weapons, they even somehow knew our ranking system and made sure to target our officers first.

The three that came at me lunged for me to close the distance and that was the only was the only thing that saved me that day. On the ground they could easily dodge side to side but midair they were cut off from that level of maneuverability.

I easily trained my gun and sprayed the machines with a full mag from my repeater rifle. The white fragments of their shells harmlessly bounced off my armor as their broken bodies crumpled before me. I barely had a moment to enjoy my victory before another massive harvester machine drove through our column.

Several of my comrades weren’t fast enough to get out of the way and were swallowed by those rotating blades of death. I heard their screams echoing on the communications net just as I had the captain and then they were cut off in an instant by a blood curdling crunch.

After that it was chaos.

Soldiers fought in tight circles or back to back with comrades as they fought off waves of robots. This went on for hours but to me, in those panic filled moments of terror, it felt like an eternity.

By nightfall the entire field was ablaze with fire just as the robots ceased their attacks. We gathered what remained of our dead and wounded and took stock of the situation.

Thousands of broken robot bodies lay strewn across the ground like discarded dolls, and the burning husks of the larger harvesters cast gloomy shadows dancing in the firelight. We had been out numbered a 3-1 and still managed to survive, and yet the victory was hollow to the core.

The twelfth legion was cut in half and lost the majority of their vehicles during the opening attacks, the third was at a quarter strength and had lost all of their officers, but worst yet was the honored first legion. The pride of several centuries of warfare, the first legion had been entirely wiped out at the front of the column. Their pride denying them anything other than a death on the battlefield as they refused to regroup with the other legions.

What remained of the officers of the twelfth legion was split between retreating to the initial landing zones or to continue with the assault. Only after the fighting had stopped was communication with orbital command reestablished, and the commanders in orbit almost couldn’t believe what had happened.

The twelfth officers requested an additional five legions be deployed to the planet and that the authorization of aerial bombardments. Debate between the twelfth and orbital lasted about an hour before the robots returned.

First signs of danger were the screams and weapons fire of sentries posted around the surviving column. Robots that had been laying on the ground thought destroyed rose back to their feet and attacked wandering soldiers.

The fear and terror spread throughout the survivors as everyone capable grabbed a weapon and began firing at the robots once more. In the confusion several soldiers fell to friendly fire as several panic stricken legionnaires opened fire on full auto blindly.

At the end of that night the third legion was almost entirely wiped out and the new rule of fully destroying the head and body of all machines became mandatory.

The war pressed on for another four months before we finally claimed the world.

All it had cost us was nearly four entire legions against an army of farming units.

The disgrace felt by the military was overwhelming and morale never recovered for the remained of the conflict. What’s worse was that throughout those four months the primary factories nestled beneath the primary settlement had been continuously producing more and more robots. What should have been a simple easy victory devolved into a grueling war of attrition.

When we finally stormed the office of the robotic factories we were able to download files from their mainframe and the horrid truth was realized.

Embedded into every robot humanity produced, regardless of their function, was a sub routine dictating military tactics, strategies, and combat methods. A maid unit designed for cleaning could be switched over in an instant to become a skilled sniper marksman with years of training with a kill count of triple digits.

For all of their frailty the humans had not lost the ability for death and destruction. They had imparted it into every machine in their service effectively creating an army of billions skilled in the art of death.

After the war was over I went out of my way to order one such unit to tend to me in my home.

I often wonder, as it goes about its cleaning work, that if I activated its military mode if I would be capable of taking it; though I doubt I can in my age now.

Instead it serves as a constant remind that one should never underestimate the nature of a being. No matter how delicate and frail it may appear, it may be hiding a dagger aimed straight at your throat.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hollow Pass (Part 1)

Summary: When the reader has to spend a day in the mines for work, she’s less than thrilled. When the miner showing her around for the day, Dean Winchester, is an ass, she’s even less thrilled. But an accident will change all of that and if they want a chance of getting out of the mess they’re in, they’ll need to put their lives in each others hands, literally...

Pairing: Miner!Dean x reader

Word Count: 4,100ish

Warnings: language, injury, frightening/claustrophobic/near death situations

A/N: Please enjoy the first of this 2 parter!

_______

You sighed as you stood in the trailer of the manager’s office, a jumpsuit and a pair of boots sat in a chair. Your boss, bless his heart, thought it was always a good idea for corporate positions to experience a day in the mines to truly understand the product and what the little guy went through on a day to day basis. The argument that you were not really corporate, not even close, seemed to go over his head.

“Y/N, you gonna change? I need my office back,” said the manager through the door. You pulled it open and pouted. “I don’t want you going down in the mines anymore than you do but if you want to make corporate, you gotta do what the CEO says.”

“Dad I don’t even want to work there. I like my simple office job.”

“Then why have you been in all those development programs at work?” he asked. You shrugged and he sighed. “Cause you can’t say no.”

“Do I have to?” you asked, looking back at the overalls.

“Do you want to quit?” he asked.

“I don’t want to lose a good paycheck. But I don’t want a corporate job either,” you said. 

“Then you’re shit outta luck,” he said. “I’m gonna put you with the Winchester boy. He’s on safety checks in our most secure mines.”

“You mean the ones that never have problems.”

“Funny how that all coincidentally happened today of all days,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks dad.”

“I don’t want you going anywhere near explosives. You’ll be safe doing the checks with Dean for the day.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you said twenty minutes later. The man in overalls and a hard hat rolled his eyes.

“I’m ten minutes late because of you which means I’m gonna get docked those ten minutes of pay so thank you little miss corporate.”

“I’m your boss’ daughter, jackass.”

“Still ain’t my boss,” he said. You huffed and headed over towards the mine entrance when he grabbed the back of your overalls. “No, dummy. You have zero safety gear so unless you want to die, you’re coming with me.”

“Asshole.”

“Dean Winchester at your service,” he said, dragging you over with him to some lockers. He punched a card and went to the storage racks, seemingly grabbing a few items and putting them on. He picked the hard hat off your head and grabbed one with a light and a wire attached to it, clipping it on your belt. He put something over your shoulder you put your arm through like a sling and clipped a mask onto the back of your belt, a flashlight and a small hand pickaxe going through your other loops. “Turn this lamp on anytime you’re in the mine and never, ever, take off your hat. If I yell at you or you smell something funny, get that mask on. Flashlight and the axe are backup for emergencies.”

He put a radio in your pocket and looked you over.

“Oh and for the love of God, do not wander off. I don’t care if you see a bug or break a nail or gotta piss.”

“What do you do if you have to…” you said.

“Normally you piss against some rock like a man but special manager’s daughter we’ll walk you back out here, take our slow ass time, make me go longer than my shift and because I was late today, I don’t get overtime.”

“That sounds kinda illegal.”

“The contracts for this company are a fucking nightmare,” he said, walking out of storage.

“Why work here then?” you asked as he went to an area and grabbed a clipboard. He took two water bottles and clipped them on each of your belts before whistling for you to follow after.

“Well somebody had to pay for his baby brother to go to law school and it wasn’t going to be my drunk of a father now was it,” said Dean, stopping and writing something down. 

“So you didn’t grow up with mining in your family?” you asked.

“No. I’m not some redneck hillbilly like you imagine either,” he said. He flipped on his light and turned yours on when you got to the mine entrance. “Crouch.”

“Huh?”

“We ain’t riding the cart which is missing, dumbass. Crouch down so you can fit in the tunnel,” he said. You swallowed and had to bend down some, following Dean closely. “Ain’t claustrophobic are ya cause now’s the time to tell me.”

“No,” you said. “Jerk.”

“Ah, see? We’re getting along already.”

You walked for five or so minutes before the ground sloped down further and an entrance to the right opened up. Dean straightened up and you did the same, stretching out as he grabbed the back of your jumpsuit.

“Dude, would you stop doing that?” you said.

“Would you stay in my line of sight?”

“That’s harassment. You can’t touch me without my permission,” you said, crossing your arms. He blinked a few times and rolled his eyes quite possibly the most dramatically you’d ever seen in your life.

“This? This is not an office building. Every single time you step in here you run the risk of dying and you have zero clue on how to stay safe down here. I hate it when you people with your big offices and penny pinching bullshit come down here and complain about every goddamn little thing. If you want out, get out of the fucking mining business.”

“You’re an irritable person,” you said. He grumbled and tugged you along with him until you brushed him off. You followed him down a hallway and another, Dean checking things off on his clipboard as he went. “Are you gonna explain any of this stuff?”

“What do you think?” he said. He whistled and you followed him down a few more hallways when he stopped a gauge looking contraption. He checked a few different numbers and valves on it as you spun around. 

“I guess it is kinda cool. That somehow you guys know how to block up rocks and leave all these cracks and know how to make it so it doesn’t all come crashing down.”

“Cracks?” he asked as he squatted down and read off a meter.

“Yeah like that big one,” you said, pointing at the wall across the way. He turned around and looked at it for barely a second before he grabbed your arm. 

“Move. Now,” he said. He pulled out his radio and pressed down the button. “We have a grade five crack in Lodge Six West. Do not blow. I repeat do not-”

The ground rumbled and you heard a splintering noise, Dean pushing you back into the hallway you’d been in. He jumped on top of you and covered your body with his, all the lights going out, a loud thundering of falling rocks happening close by. It seemed to go on and on before it finally stilled, the hallway pitch black.

“You alright?” he asked.

“I think so,” you said, coughing when you felt dust in the air.

“Don’t move,” he said. He lifted his head and there was some light, Dean looking around before climbing off of you and staring at a new wall of rock. He looked at the hallway you’d been in, clicking on his flashlight and you saw where the rock dropped off about a hundred feet away. “Well. Shit.”

“What just happened?”

“The rock was unstable and they already set off the charges and it shook the mountain so now there’s a giant hole over there and our exit is blocked.”

“What’s that way?” you asked, nodding down the only unobstructed hallway.

“Further down into the mine before you hit the decommissioned area.”

“Is there a way out,” you asked, Dean patting his side.

“Fuck. My radio is under all that,” he said. He took out yours and handed it to him, Dean nodding before he turned it on. “Main do you copy, over?”

There was silence on the other end and Dean hit the button again.

“Main this is Winchester in Lodge Six West with…what’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, manager’s kid. Copy, over.”

“Winchester this is Main. We got lots of calls coming in from ground crews about a shaking.”

“Lodge Six West Hall K is a giant crater of death and Hall H is buried, right up to the entrance of junction HJ.”

“Injuries?”

“We’re okay,” said Dean.

“Give me a second.”

Dean took a deep breath and coughed. He tapped your mask on your belt and you put it on, the air a bit easier to breath. 

“Winchester this is Melvin.”

“She’s okay, boss. Just a little shook up. Saved our asses from winding up in the ground even if she doesn’t know it yet,” he said. He held out the radio and you pulled down the mask. 

“Dad I’m fine, really. We both are. It’s just kinda dark and smelly is all.”

“I know. Put your mask on sweetie until you can get to some cleaner air,” he said. You put it back on, Dean, getting to his feet. He pulled you up and looked back at your blocked path. 

“Any other collapses?” asked Dean.

“None reported so far. Everyone should be out of the mine’s or on their way. Alarm is blasting.” You looked back at Dean, his eyes shutting.

“Melvin we can’t hear it. At all.”

“Rodney’s out checking where our side of the collapse starts. We’ll get you out,” he said, someone panting in the background.

“Hall B, Mel,” he said. Dean turned away from you and sighed. No one said anything for a long time until Dean finally raised his head.

“We got two 16 ounces bottles of water. If she rations it, she’s got a shot,” said Dean quietly.

“No, she doesn’t,” said your dad, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “How long does your radio have?”

“Mine got crushed. Hers was on a quarter charge. I’d guess maybe an hour or two tops,” he said.

“Should we call your brother?”

“He’s hiking in Glacier Park this week. No cell service,” said Dean quietly. “Just tell him to check my bottom desk drawer. There’s something for him there.”

“I can do that,” he said. “Is there anyone...parents-”

“All due respect sir, I’d rather you talk to your daughter,” he said. Dean held out the radio to you and you picked it up, Dean skirting around the corner to the one unblocked hallway.

“Dean?” you asked, following over there. He was leaned against the wall and looked over his shoulder at you. “What’s going on?”

“They can’t dig us out in time.”

“What do you mean-”

“Talk to your dad. You’re wasting time. That battery won’t last forever,” he said. He turned back and you walked back around the corner, sitting down against the wall.

“Hi dad,” you said.

“Hey,” he said, his voice shaky. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “Mom’s on her way down to talk, okay? She’ll be here in ten minutes.”

“I so quit this job,” you said, wiping off your eyes with the back of your hand. He laughed and you threw your head back. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m gonna stay on the line as long as I can, okay?”

“Okay. Okay.”

Two Hours Later

The battery in the radio had died about fifteen minutes ago. There was no sound aside from your sniffling and Dean’s down the hall. You got up eventually and went into the hall, sitting down beside him. You handed him the radio and he clipped it back on his belt.

“You okay?” you asked, voice hoarse.

“You try listening to someone say goodbye to their parents and not bawl,” he said. He wiped off his face and took a deep breath. “Air’s better now at least.”

“What do we do now?”

“Now,” he said, clipping his water bottle onto your belt. “You sit there and try not to exert a lot of energy and that water will last you a few days.”

“We both heard my father. They can’t drill or dig or do anything fast enough. It’d take weeks. I’m not sitting here next to your dead ass so take your damn water back,” you said, shoving it back in his chest. He didn’t speak but put it on his belt, pulling his knees into his chest. “Why were you so mean to me before? You gave up time on the phone for me. I don’t think you’re what you pretend to be.”

“I’m a dead man walking and that’s a fact.”

“Technically you’re sitting.”

He smiled and rested his face in his knees. He sat up and reached over behind you, hitting off your headlight.

“We need to conserve power as long as possible,” he said.

“Will our lights go out before we dehydrate to death?” you asked.

“Yes,” he said. “This is what it’ll be like.”

He flipped off his lamp and you swore you’d never experienced a darkness so deep. You felt his hand graze yours before holding it and you swallowed.

“Kinda less scary knowing you can turn it back on again,” he said.

“You didn’t answer my question. Why such a brute?”

“You do this job long enough and most people think you’re a dumb sack of shit with nothing in his head. You’re dead weight, odds are you’ll die down here or get into some kind of accident and have to go on disability the rest of your life. You corporate people are always so stuck up, like I’m not even good enough to be the dirt on your shoes. I didn’t give you a chance because odds were you were like all the rest of them. You’re the only reason we didn’t die in that hole, very painfully.”

“Wouldn’t we have-”

“No. It’s not a simple hole we would have fell in. Falling rocks, crushing and hitting, landing on you, ones you hit yourself. Might not kill you immediately. You’d feel it.”

“Dying of thirst is better?”

“I’d say so. Still get to keep this handsome face, or what’ll be left of it,” he said. He flipped his light back on and you scooted closer. “I think you’re very attractive.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m gonna die in like three or four days. Life has no consequences now and I happen to find you very attractive and you seem like a smart, sweet woman that put her parents a little at ease during the worst moment of their lives.”

“Who’s your brother?” you asked. “No consequences after all.”

“He’s a lawyer...and my best friend.”

“You said you did this job for him.”

“Student debt is a bitch. I try to help him out and the overtime helps make dents in it,” he said. “Our parents had debt out their asses. It caused so many problems for us. I wanted him safe, never have to worry about the next meal on the plate or the roof over his head or having to wear my hand me downs ever again. At least he’ll get my life insurance policy. That should help.”

“I have been busting my ass since I was a college freshman in that office to move up the chain for a job I didn’t even want. I completely lost nearly all of my twenties to work. All so I could die in here.”

“Well I know this doesn't sound good but I’m glad I didn’t die all super painful. Or that I’ll be alone,” he said. You smiled and nodded, Dean returning it. “Got any bucket list shit we can pull off down here?”

“We could make out,” you said. “Never knew anyone could make that jumpsuit look good.”

“Why the fuck not,” he chuckled. He leaned in close and your helmets bonked, Dean pulling his off and yours, quickly cupping your face. 

His lips were gentler than you thought, the two of you stopping when your lips were pressed together. You rested your forehead against his and broke off only an inch.

“Not as much fun at the moment as it sounded,” you breathed out.

“Pretty good last kiss though,” he said. You put your helmets back on and you grabbed his hand again. 

“Don’t let go down here. Please.”

He reached to his belt and undid a little pouch, pulling out a small tether of rope. He clipped one end onto him and the other to you.

“For when the lights go out,” he said.

“How long do we got?”

“About a day, maybe a little more,” he said. You sighed and turned your head, staring down the rest of the hall. “It’s decommissioned, Y/N. It’s a death trap.”

“Is there a way out?” you asked.

“Maybe. Maybe they never find us though,” he said. You stared at him and he nodded, hitting your headlamp back on. “Enough of the pity party. Let’s go get out of here or die trying.”

He stood and held out a hand, hoisting you to your feet. 

“So. What’s our best option?” you asked.

“It’s alright for a bit until we get to the decommissioned section. When we get there, that’s when it gets dangerous. Technically it’s dangerous now considering the blast but we’re okay for a bit,” he said. 

“Let’s go then,” you said. He nodded and you followed him down the hall, walking side by side. 

“Alright so the decommissioned section is called Hollow Pass. Beyond that is Upper Seven. If we can get to Upper Seven, we can get out the old entrance I’m pretty sure. Never been in there but hopefully it’s not a maze over there.”

“So Hollow Pass is the hard part.”

“Yeah.”

“Why was it decommissioned?”

“Unstable ground. Holes, pockets of air, rotted support beams, wood planks.”

“So it’s a death trap.”

“Yup,” he said. “We’re probably gonna die down there.”

“What do you think our odds are?”

“Well it’s been out of order for over fifty years, we have no map, I have no real idea where exactly to go...I give us 1% odds.”

“Beats are 0% odds here.”

“Good way to think about it considering we’re going to most likely die.” He stopped walking and took a deep breath. “If I fall or whatever, follow the widest hall possible and keep away from wood and cracks as best as possible. Ration your water and eventually you’ll find your way out.”

“If you fall I’m definitely not gonna make it.”

“Well at least try. You can tell my brother how devastatingly brave I was that way.”

“You just spent the past hour crying.”

“So did you,” he said. You bumped his shoulder and he returned it but it was playful and soft. You walked together quietly for a moment until Dean rounded a corner and took a deep breath.

There were a few planks across a hallway, Dean kicking them down, frowning when they broke pretty easily.

“There’s gonna be rot.”

“Lovely.”

“We don’t have to go,” he said. “You don’t have to. There’s a chance-“

“There’s no chance Dean. Not if we stay up there. If you don’t want to go, I will. Maybe I can get help back in-“

“We’re doing this together or you’re staying. I can go and you-“

“We both go,” you said. 

“I go first. You step where I step and if I tell you to do anything, you do it.”

“Dean. We already established that you’re not a hardass. You can lead the way but you know, nicely.”

“Alright, alright,” he said. He gave more slack in the rope attached to the two of you and took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

He was calm for a few minutes until you were turning down a hallway, Dean suddenly stopping in front of you.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Look,” he said. You poked your head around him, swallowing at the rotted wood on the ground, holes worn into the planking. “Y/N that’s not good. Rot means there’s water and water means erosion and erosion means big shafts hundreds of feet straight down under those wood planks.”

“How much of it is wood?” you asked. You both looked ahead and sighed, the whole hall flooring covered in wood. “Shit.”

“Y/N. This is too dangerous. I’ve worked in mines since I was 18 and it’s way too dangerous.”

“Dean. I don’t want to die. If we don’t do anything, we’re dead in three days, maybe less.”

“Maybe they come up the decommissioned mine and get us,” he said. 

“Dean. The mountain collapsed from what my dad said. They are not coming in here, risking even more lives, in this mine. It might even have collapsed on the other side on the way out. We don’t know. All we do know is we stay and we’re dead or we go and we’re maybe dead.”

“You still won’t let me go on ahead on my own to try to get some help?”

“You’re not leaving me alone,” you said. You stepped ahead and he yanked on the rope, pulling you back. “Dean. Stop.”

“I go first,” he said. You held up your hands and he swallowed, Dean stepping past you, carefully putting his weight down on each plank. “Follow. Every footstep exactly where mine go.”

You followed after, the only sounds your breathing and the occasional board creaking. Dean put a foot down and stopped moving forward when you heard snapping. 

“Go back. Slowly.”

You stepped a foot backwards, putting weight on it and your foot going straight through. Dean grabbed your arm as you pulled your foot up, a few sticks falling into a deep dark pit. 

“What do we do,” you breathed out.

“Well we’re over rock that fell away so there’s a big hole beneath us if the rotted wood is anything to go by,” he said. You heard the slight waiver in his voice and sighed. “We make a choice. Forwards or backwards.”

“Back looks bad. Plus we already probably broke the supports.”

“I think solid ground is in front. But I have to jump for it,” he said. You looked past him and shook your head. 

“Dean, it's way too far. I can try to walk over there if you let out the rope. I get to solid ground and then you walk and if you fall, I got you with the rope.”

“Sweetheart, there’s no way.”

“You’re too heavy and we can’t stay here,” you said. You slipped past him and he tried to grab you but you went quickly. “Dean let out the rope. Now.”

“Fuck. We’re gonna die.”

“No we’re not,” you said, walking quickly, planks creaking but you sighed when you had solid rock under your feet again. “Alright. Just go where I did and fast.”

He took a deep breath and walked a few steps, a loud groaning of the wood making him move faster.

You hit the ground the second you saw him go down, the wood breaking away. Dean shouted and you dug your heels into the dirt. 

“Y/N!” he said, falling straight down into a hole and out of view.

_____

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[therealvinelle]

How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible. 

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested. 

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning. 

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all. 

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No. 

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden. 

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.

[mustardyellowsunshine]

All of Your Pieces

"I love you, I love you

And all of your pieces"

Pieces | Andrew Belle

________________________________

-

Protective

-

"Here."

Kagome startled when a bundle of bright red cloth was abruptly shoved under her nose. She blinked at it for a moment, before her gaze traveled up an extended white-clad arm, across broad shoulders, up to intent grey eyes surrounded by hair so black it nearly blended into the night.

"For... me?" she asked.

A corner of Inuyasha's mouth curved down in a half-scowl. "No, for the rock behind you. Of course you! Who the hell else would I be talking to? "

Too bemused to be offended by his sarcasm, she hesitantly reached up and grasped the suikan he held out to her, noticing as she did his blunted human nails against the fabric. "But," she said tentatively, "won't you be cold?"

He'd already retracted his arm and dropped down to sit on the ground a few feet away from her. He'd just finished building up the fire, which guttered weakly in front of them, already on the verge of going out. It had been raining steadily for most of the day, and though the rain had stopped some hours ago, the ground was still damp. It had taken them ages to find wood that looked dry enough to burn, and even longer to get a flame started. The prospects did not look good for their little campfire, which meant they were in for a long, uncomfortable vigil. The moonless night was dark and chill, and had only just begun.

At her question, Inuyasha merely scoffed. "I'll be fine. Just 'cause I'm human for the night don't mean I'm a complete weakling." His tone was all gruff nonchalance, but the set of his jaw was stiff, and his shoulders looked tense.

Afraid to offend him by refusing it, and much too embarrassed to suggest they share it, Kagome frowned as she slipped the suikan around her shoulders, gripping the edges closed under her chin. "I wasn't suggesting that you were. But even strong humans can get sick in the cold."

"Just shut up and keep it on, will you?" he barked out, sharp and irritated. "The last thing I need tonight is your ass getting sick." His voice trailed off with what sounded like a muttered, "Pathetic woman."

For a moment, she felt a lick of anger, a smarting sort of offense. Her frown deepened, and she opened her mouth to snipe right back—until she noticed the way his eyes kept glancing between her and the quickly-dying fire, between her and its narrowing radius of light, the dark night beginning to hem them in. She saw his jaw clench, watched his hand grip his sword and the minutest movement of his legs as he shifted ever so slightly closer to her.

And she realized all at once that his roughness was not the pompous contempt he pretended it was—it was concern. Deep concern. For her.

He should have been fearing for himself: should have been afraid for his own human body's susceptibility to the elements, worried for his own security against unseen enemies through the long night of his vulnerability.

But perhaps, in his eyes, it was no longer just his night of vulnerability. It was hers, too, and that's what bothered him the most. And for the first time, she began to understand just how deeply her safety mattered to him. How protecting her had gone from a practicality to an instinct, a need.

Just as suddenly as it had come, her anger faded. Closing her lips with a soft sigh, she looked back towards what was left of their campfire. Its smoking embers glowed feebly, and neither she nor Inuyasha made any move to stoke it. She glanced back to the man beside her. He fairly radiated tension, face tight with it, posture utterly rigid as his eyes kept darting between her and their surroundings.

Wordlessly, Kagome scooted across the remaining few feet between them, until her right side was pressed against his left. He startled a little, muscles twitching, but didn't otherwise move. Knowing it was the only comfort she could offer him—wishing she could do more—she slowly leaned her weight against him, resting her head on his shoulder and hooking her elbow through his, her hand sliding down his forearm until it found his larger hand where it rested on his thigh. Not quite brave enough to hold it the way she wanted to, she settled for looping her pinky finger around his. She felt his gaze—warm as a flame—on her face, but she just kept watching the fading embers of the campfire.

When the fire went out and the dark of night rushed over them, she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and squeezed his arm. A moment later, she felt his finger rub against hers in the barest caress.

They stayed that way until dawn.

________________________________

-

Wild

-

The first time Kagome heard him laugh, all she could do was stare.

She rode on his back, knees clamped on either side of his waist, arms looped around his shoulders. His hair streamed out behind him as he ran, tickling her face when it wasn't dwarfing her completely.

It was early morning, the sun still low in the sky as the half-demon leapt through the trees of an expansive forest. They had just spent the better part of two days holed up in an abandoned hut while a storm raged outside. The entire two days, Inuyasha had prowled around the confines of the hut, apparently unable to sit still and wait it out. He'd paced and grumbled and cursed. The few times she'd managed to coax him into sitting down, or stretching out in his usual careless sprawl, he'd tapped his foot, jiggled his legs, strummed his claws against the ground, flicked his ears—some part of his body in constant motion—the whole time scowling at the wall across the room as though the sheer force of his frustration could end the storm.

Kagome had been about ready to strangle him when the storm finally broke early that morning. Inuyasha had taken one sniff of the air, muttered a relieved "Finally!" and wasted no time slinging her onto his back and taking off through the door.

He ran with extra energy and speed that day, his leaps farther and higher than usual. As a result, his landings were few between and a touch on the reckless side, his feet finding purchase on thin branches, steep ledges, and precarious boulders. The whole time Kagome's stomach felt like it had climbed up into her throat. All she could do was grip his shoulders and keep her eyes fixed on the back of his neck.

Then he'd taken a particularly tall leap, up into the branches of a towering tree near the crest of a hill. He'd paused for a moment on one of its highest branches, foot braced against the bark—then with one powerful push of his legs, he'd launched them both into the air, soaring through the sky. Wind tugged at their hair and clothes, creating the feeling of complete weightlessness. At the peak of the jump there came a moment of breathless exhilaration, when Kagome felt like she was simply floating in midair, the world spread out below her like a pastoral painting, beautiful and remote.

But then the inevitable descent began, and she realized what Inuyasha probably hadn't cared to notice: he'd jumped off the highest peak in the vicinity, and there was nothing of equal height to land on. They were going to have to drop nearly straight to the ground.

The realization took a split second, and then they were falling. Kagome's stomach dropped, her heart stuttered in her chest, and burying her face against Inuyasha's neck, she let out a shrill squeak—there was no other word for it—and gripped his shoulders with all her strength, knees squeezing his waist for dear life. He tightened his grip on her legs, and she felt rather than heard his voice, rumbling through his back, reverberating into her body.

They fell with a speed Kagome would remember in her nightmares. Her heart thudded so hard she thought she’d have a heart attack. Their hair whipped around their heads, silver and black mixing in a waving mass, and wind howled in Kagome’s ears. It was all cold slicing wind and the sensation of plummeting, her stomach shriveling with fear, and—

—suddenly the air was punched out of her lungs, Inuyasha’s shoulder slamming right into her diaphragm (when had she slid up so high?); a hard jolt shuddered all the way through her body, and she would have flown forward over Inuyasha’s shoulder if he hadn’t wrapped a strong arm around her waist, keeping her draped over him. They were still in motion, skidding fast down the slope of a hill. A quick succession of images—tree branches, rock-studded dirt, Inuyasha’s feet, the red of his robes—blurred together, disorienting her. She closed her eyes and struggled to inhale. After a few heaving breaths, she was able to get her breathing somewhat back under control.

They finally slid to a halt, Inuyasha’s torso lurching forward, then snapping back from the momentum. Kagome opened her eyes and was met with the sight of Inuyasha’s waist and legs; his feet were planted firmly apart, toes spread wide in the dirt. She tried to lift herself up, bracing her elbows against the line of his shoulder, and turned her head to look at him.

He was smiling, wide and exhilarated. Adrenaline had brought color to his face and a gleaming spark to his eyes. The sight of him had Kagome sucking in a quiet breath. Any irritation she may have felt, any residual fear from the reckless freefall, melted away in a single moment.

Then he closed his eyes, tilted his head back, and let out a whoop of laughter that echoed through the forest.

And Kagome could only stare, her heart fluttering.

She’d never heard him laugh. Not like that.

She’d heard him jeer at enemies. She’d heard him snicker in contempt or dismissal. Sometimes she’d even heard him snigger at her expense when he thought she’d done something stupid. But never a laugh like that. So carefree. Wild. Completely unguarded.

Then he looked at her, still with that broad boyish smile, the hint of a fang poking out from beneath his lip, and said, “Ready to go again?”

She twisted her fingers into the material of his suikan. She opened her mouth to say “Hell no!” but instead heard herself whispering, “Okay.”

She wanted to keep that smile on his face.

He rapidly moved her to her previous position against his back, and then he was off, leaping high into the air.

And though her stomach roiled, and her limbs quivered, she just pressed her face into his neck and smiled, listening to him laugh.

________________________________

-

Thoughtless

-

“Could you be any more useless?”

Kagome couldn’t get it out of her head. His voice raised, harsh, dismissive.

She pressed her face into her raised knees, hugging her legs against her chest. The tree branches above her swayed in the breeze, leaves fluttering against each other. The sound should have been soothing, but she couldn’t hear anything beyond his voice in her head.

“Are you even trying?”

Her breath hitched. Her throat felt tight.

Of course she was trying. She’d been trying since the day she was thrown into the past. Trying to learn to fight, trying to use miko powers she hadn’t even known she had. Trying to befriend a prickly half-demon who wanted nothing to do with her.

“Could you be any more useless?”

Her arms squeezed more tightly around her body. Sighing against her legs, she turned her head to rest her cheek against her knees.

They’d been fighting, of course. And she’d certainly been just as insulting to him, giving back as good as she got. Even egging him on a bit. Part of Kagome knew he probably didn’t mean it, just as she hadn’t meant half the things she’d said. But remembering that sharp edge in his voice, part of her had to wonder…

She sat under the tree, trying to listen to the wind, watching the light slowly fade in the evening sky. She felt wretchedly alone.

There was a quiet rustle behind her. Lifting her head, she glanced to her right—and there he was. Sitting cross-legged beside her, a few feet away.

He wasn’t looking at her. He stared out into the woods around them, taking as much notice of her as he would a pebble on the ground.

She frowned, opened her mouth to say something. But then she stopped. Maybe it was the tenseness around his eyes. Or the grim line of his lips. Or the way his shoulders were a little hunched, as though waiting for some anticipated blow. Or maybe it was the way his ears were turned in her direction. Trained on her.

Closing her mouth, she lowered her head back down to her legs, watching him next to her in the twilit gloom.

A long stretch of silence passed. Kagome kept watching him—his pale hair almost glowing in the dusk—when finally his gaze cut to her, gold glinting in the starlight. She sucked in a breath. Waited.

He kept his eyes on hers, steady and resolute. Too caught to look away, Kagome lifted her head again. Parted her lips. “Inuyasha… I’m…”

She trailed off, unsure how to continue.

A beat passed. And then he nodded at her. Just a short jerk of his chin. She might have thought she’d imagined it if she hadn’t been paying such close attention.

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded back.

He glanced away, back towards the trees. Kagome couldn’t help but notice that the line of his shoulders looked less strained.

He sat there with her in silence, and she no longer felt alone.

________________________________

-

Jealous

-

"You smell terrible."

Kagome paused in the middle of her dismount from the edge of the Bone Eater’s Well, and glared at the hanyō standing nearby. "Excuse me?!"

It looked like Inuyasha had been lounging against a nearby tree before she arrived. Now he stood a few paces from its trunk, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. “You heard me.”

Kagome stepped away from the Well and approached him, clenching the straps of her backpack hard. She frowned and snapped, “What’s gotten into you?”

The hanyō leaned forward, took a loud exaggerated sniff, and growled, “What’s gotten on you? Your time ain’t exactly fragrant, but this downright reeks.”

“I do not reek!”

“You do.”

“Do not!”

“Yeah? And which one of us has the yōkai nose?”

Kagome’s face heated, and an unwelcome twinge of self-consciousness leached away some of her ire. She hadn’t exactly taken the time to bathe before she came back…. resisting the urge to sniff at herself, Kagome opened her mouth, closed it, and finally huffed out in a blustery sigh, “You are completely insufferable sometimes!”

She turned on her heel, heading towards the direction of the village, but stopped when he called out, “And here I thought you went back home for your tests. Tch! Lying bitch.”

Spine going completely rigid, Kagome slowly turned back around. Her blistering glare would’ve sent anyone else scurrying for cover. “What did you say?”

But Inuyasha had never had the good sense to back away from a fight, and had never had any sense when it came to the girl in front of him. “I said,” he repeated slowly, punctuating each word with a step towards her, “That you’re a lying bitch.”

Kagome walked forward to meet him, getting right up in his space and jabbing a finger into his chest. “I don’t know what your problem is, Inuyasha, but let’s make one thing clear.” Reaching up and grabbing a lock of his hair, Kagome tugged on it hard, making him snarl. “I’ve never lied to you! Not ever! What exactly are you suggesting that I do at home, huh? It’s not like I’m running away to goof off! I have serious things to do there too, you know!”

The sneer that lifted his upper lip had her blood boiling. “Sure,” he said, voice dripping in cynicism, “things. That’s why you smell like that.”

She grit her teeth, practically snarling herself. “Like what?!”

He leaned in an inch, and she was suddenly aware of how much taller he was than her, his body practically dwarfing hers. She wouldn’t let herself take a step back, though, and continued glaring up at him, fingers still tight around his hair.

There was no mistaking the animalistic aggression in his tone when he bit out, “Like some bastard has been all over you.”

Kagome frowned, blinked. “Huh?”

Inuyasha lifted his chin, eyes narrowed nearly to slits, and exhaled harshly through his nostrils. “You reek of some… some…” he floundered for a beat, then snarled, “some weakling boy.”

It took Kagome a few seconds to process that. Then realization struck, and before she could really think better of it, she murmured a quiet, “Oh.”

His face tightened, and he stared at her a moment. “Yeah,” he replied, “fucking oh. I’ve been waiting here for days, thinking you were at your school, and instead you were,” he faltered again, and flapped his hands angrily in her direction, “running around with some boy—”

Kagome’s hand released its grip on his hair and dropped down to clutch gently at his sleeve.

“—and it’s not like I fucking care, because I don’t, but if you’re leaving just to spend time with that,” he bit off the next word, growled low, “then you damn well should’ve had the decency to say so—”

Kagome stepped a little closer into his space. He didn’t seem to notice.

“—and I’ll tell you right now, Kagome, I ain’t gonna tolerate you running home just for him, got it? Your responsibilities here matter more than that little—”

“Inuyasha.”

Her voice was calm and quiet—no trace of anger or frustration—and that more than anything made the hanyō pause, eyes still narrowed on her face. When her lips started to twitch up at the corners, he growled, “Oi, you think this is funny? Hell, Kagome, if you think for a second that I’m just gonna let—”

Her hand tugged on his sleeve. “Inuyasha,” she repeated.

His mouth twisted, and he barked, “What?!”

“You have nothing to worry about. The person you’re smelling is just a classmate.”

Inuyasha’s lip curled ever so slightly, features still tense. “A classmate?” he repeated, an echo of that cynical timbre returning to his voice. “That sure as hell doesn’t explain why his scent is all over you.”

Seemingly unaware of the movement, his hand reached over and gripped her forearm where she was clutching at his sleeve. As he spoke, it slowly skimmed down her arm to lightly circle her wrist, his thumb resting against the heel of her palm.

Warmth suffused her stomach at the touch. She tilted her head, her gaze steady on his. “You know my grandpa’s been making up excuses for me at school, right? Everyone there thinks I’ve been sick. Like, really sick.” She sighed with mild chagrin, thinking of the ludicrous illnesses her grandfather had been coming up with. Then shaking her head, she continued, “When Hōjō saw me after class, he was just glad to see me doing all right. He gave me a hug. That’s all.”

Inuyasha’s eyes were still narrowed, but the longer he looked at her—her expression so open and calm—the tension began easing from his posture, his shoulders relaxing. Finally he snorted, nose wrinkling. “A hug, huh?” When she nodded, he grumbled without much heat, “Must’ve been one long-ass hug, then.”

Kagome felt her cheeks heat again, and her smile was somewhat embarrassed. “Um, yeah. It, uh, it was pretty awkward. Hōjō isn’t the best at picking up social cues.”

At the hint of discomfort in her tone, Inuyasha paused, watching her. Whatever he saw, it seemed to reassure him, because his face lost all its stiffness and the scowl cleared away. But he was frowning slightly when he said, “Oi. If you didn’t like it, you should’ve just stopped him.”

Kagome shrugged. “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Not all of us enjoy being rude, you know?”

Inuyasha’s hand tugged gently on her wrist, drawing her closer. “If you don’t want someone touching you, just say so. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.” He brought up his free hand and flexed his fingers slightly, showing off his claws. “Or I can do it for you, if you want. Just point me at the bastard.”

Kagome bit her lip to keep from smiling at the gruff sincerity of the offer. “Hm, I’ll let you know if I need you.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Then Kagome slid her wrist from his grasp, only to replace it with her hand. She threaded her fingers through his, pressing their palms tightly together. At his bemused—and vaguely flushed—look, she smiled and said, “Let’s go.”

She pulled him by the hand towards the village, delighting in the feeling of his fingers curling around hers.

________________________________

-

Kind

-

"You know, if you're not careful, your face will freeze that way."

Inuyasha's menacing glower turned Kagome’s direction, followed quickly by a snarled, "The fuck are you talking about?"

Teeth gritted, eyes narrowed and furious, ears laid flat against his head, he looked on the verge of exploding. Kagome sighed. "Never mind."

With a muttered "Tch," the hanyō returned his attention to cleaning his sword, which was proving to be an exercise in futility. Thick, viscous yōkai innards of an indeterminable brown color—blood? bile? mucus? some form of stomach acid? it was impossible to tell exactly what that gunk was—coated Tetsusaiga from point to hilt. Inuyasha had spent a good ten minutes trying to clean it off, but had only managed to spread it around, smearing long sticky streaks along his hands and the sleeves of his suikan.

The consistency of the stuff reminded Kagome of superglue, which didn't bode well for Inuyasha's efforts. She wasn't going to tell him that, though.

Sighing again, she seated herself on the ground and watched him try to remove the slime from his sword by wiping it on the grass, scraping it against the bark of nearby trees, and even swinging it through the air with all his might, as though sheer brute force would propel the mess off.

"Was that stinking eel made of slime? Dammit!" Inuyasha slammed Tetsusaiga point-down into the ground and dropped to a crouch next to it. She could see a muscle in his jaw working even from where she sat.

Poor guy. It had been a rough day. They were two weeks into a shard-hunting expedition, and they hadn't found a single shard—or even the rumor of one—until that morning, when Kagome had faintly sensed the Shikon's power, like the minutest flutter in the back of her mind. But faint as it was, she'd struggled to pinpoint where it was coming from. They'd had several false starts, spending hours traveling in a direction only for Kagome to realize it wasn't quite the right way, or that they’d somehow veered off course. By that afternoon, even Kagome's frustration was getting to her. She could only imagine how Inuyasha felt doing all the leg work. He surprised her, though, and didn't say a word about it; he just silently went wherever Kagome directed him to go.

After half the day running near-aimlessly around the countryside, they'd finally hit on the right direction. The pull of the shard grew stronger and stronger, eventually leading them to sprawling swamplands swarmed by biting flies, littered with stagnant pools of water, and dotted with more than one human corpse in various stages of decay.

And the smell. Like sulfur and the mineral tang of mud mixed with rotting flesh. Inuyasha had looked downright queasy, covering his nose with his sleeve and grimly muttering, "Let's get this over with quick."

Kagome tracked the shard through the mire, shoes slipping and sliding in the sludge; she did her best to steer them around the stagnant pools whenever possible, but they'd both been forced to wade through muck up to their knees when they ran out of solid ground to walk on. The trail of the Shikon's power led them deep into the swamp, and finally ended at the largest pool of standing water they’d yet seen, the size of a small lake. The pull of the shard was coming from its center.

Kagome had only just lifted her arm to point towards the lake when a giant plume of water shot up from its depths. In the midst of that plume reared the massive, sinuous brown body of an eel. Kagome immediately saw the glow of the Shikon shard lodged in its jaw, buried behind rows of sharp teeth as long as her forearm.

Inuyasha hadn't waited for it to make a second move: he launched himself forward, Tetsusaiga raised with both arms, a hoarse shout ripping from his throat.

Under normal circumstances, Kagome doubted the eel would have presented much of a challenge; it was about the size of Mistress Centipede, an enemy Inuyasha had torn apart with nothing but his claws. But this yōkai had a distinct advantage over them: they weren't on solid ground. Inuyasha wasn't able to get traction in the swampy mud, which meant his jumps weren't as high, his landings sloppy, and his movements slower.

Which is probably why the yōkai was able to land a glancing blow on Kagome. The eel darted forward, jaws wide and ready to snap down on flesh; Inuyasha jumped out of its path, but quick as a flash it changed course, veering at an angle towards Kagome, where she’d been standing with bow at the ready. With a shriek, she leapt aside as quickly as she could, but one of those long teeth caught her arm, dragging up from her elbow all the way to her shoulder.

She’d barely registered the stinging, burning sensation in her arm when she heard Inuyasha’s ragged bellow.

“Stay the fuck away from her, you piece of shit!”

She didn’t see him move, but she heard his wordless yell; saw a spear of sunlight glint off Tetsusaiga’s blade as it arched down; felt the spray of water on her face as the eel violently writhed, Tetsusaiga imbedded into the flesh below its head.

Even injured, the yōkai’s body—pure sinuous muscle—flailed with such ferocity that it threw Inuyasha off his feet. He was able to hold onto Tetsusaiga’s hilt, dragging the sword with him as he was hurled into the ground. The eel reared and darted towards him.

“No!” Kagome roared, already standing and drawing her bow. Ignoring the burning in her arm, she drew an arrow back and released. It lodged deep into the eel’s left eye, her spiritual power flaring as the arrow hit, burning half its face.

Half-blinded and almost certainly mortally wounded, Kagome thought it was nearly over. But she’d forgotten: cornered animals are at their most dangerous when they’re most desperate. The eel’s tail lashed out from the water and shot forward with terrifying speed. Kagome tried to dodge, but wasn’t fast enough: its tail caught the edge of her uninjured shoulder and sent her flying through the air. She landed on her side in the muck, skidding a few yards before the boggy ground stopped her momentum.

Dimly, through the throbbing pain she now felt pulsing through her muscles, Kagome found herself grateful for the water-saturated quagmire. If she’d landed on solid ground, she’d probably have some broken bones right about now.

“Kagome!!”

She lifted her head a few inches, cracking her eyes open.

In the time it had taken her to hit the ground, Inuyasha had put himself between her and the yōkai. Half-turned towards her, he had Tetsusaiga pointed at the eel while he looked at her over his shoulder.

His expression was downright murderous.

“You okay?” he rasped through the snarl twisting his features.

When she gave a brief nod, he turned his full attention back to the eel. “What did I say about getting near her?” The lethal calm with which he asked the question nearly had a shiver going down Kagome’s spine.

Inuyasha raised Tetsusaiga—then planted it point-first into the ground next to him. Lifting both his hands, he flexed his fingers, knuckles cracking. “For you, motherfucker? I’m gonna use my hands.”

Then he was leaping forward with a low, guttural shout. Claws connected with flesh, biting deep. He sliced clean through the yōkai’s body, at the same spot he’d injured earlier. Blood sprayed into the air.

The length of the eel’s body slumped into the lake with a tremendous splash, slithering down under the foam, disappearing from view. The head fell in the other direction, towards the boggy shore. It landed in a clump of springy weeds, rolling for a few feet before coming to a halt in a patch of mud.

Inuyasha stood in swamp water up to his waist, looking at his blood-stained hand with a wrinkled nose and an almost pouting expression, as though already wondering how long it would take to get rid of the smell. Seeing it, Kagome couldn’t help the (admittedly pained) giggle that broke from her lips as she sat upright.

Inuyasha’s gaze went straight to her, and the rest of him quickly followed. He dropped to a crouch next to her, eyes skimming her body for injury. “You okay, Kagome?”

She took a moment to assess. She patted her abdomen, around her ribs; she slowly moved her hands and feet, arms and legs; she rolled her shoulders, especially the one that had been hit. Her muscles were definitely twinging, and the cut on her arm still stung, but... “I think I’m mostly okay. I’m just going to be really sore tomorrow.” She winced as she stretched her shoulder. “And probably bruised.”

Inuyasha’s eyes landed on her cut arm. He scowled. “We need to clean that up.” Vigorously rubbing his hands in the patchy swamp grass—wiping off as much of the eel blood as he could—he then slipped his arms beneath Kagome’s knees and around her shoulders, hefting her up against his chest. Pausing to scan the area around them, he mumbled, “Where’s your damn backpack?”

“Uh,” Kagome swiveled her head around, then pointed over Inuyasha’s shoulder. “There! I put it down when we reached the lake.”

Inuyasha started moving in that direction, but Kagome smacked the back of her hand lightly against his chest and said, “Hey, wait!”

Glaring at her, Inuyasha kept moving. “No. That cut could get infected. We need to take care of it now.”

“But—”

“Now wench, now.”

She sighed, her breath ruffling the ends of her bangs. “Okay, so you don’t want to collect the jewel shard, then?”

He stilled. Then he glanced over at the yōkai’s head where it lay in the mud; glanced back at her, the oblique set of his brows almost calculating. Releasing a loud, annoyed exhale, he turned back towards the eel’s head.

Kagome grinned up at him. “I can’t believe you almost forgot the shard.”

“Shut it.”

“Aww, don’t be embarrassed! It’s sweet that you were so worried about me.”

Color suffused the skin along the bridge of his nose. “Keh! I just need you in working order. You’re useless to me otherwise.”

“Of course,” she agreed, nodding solemnly. “I believe you, Inuyasha.”

He mumbled some curse word or other under his breath. When they reached the decapitated yōkai head, he gently set Kagome on her feet. She kneeled down, felt for the shard with her power, then pointed at a spot behind the eel’s gaping jaw. “It’s in there. Could you…?”

Inuyasha used one of his claws to slice open the flesh behind the rows of teeth. Then Kagome—visibly shuddering and chanting “ew, ew, ew!” to herself—probed with her fingers until she found the shard. She pulled it out, holding it up for Inuyasha to see. “We did it!”

“Uh-huh, great.” He scooped her up into his arms and leapt over to where her backpack lay on the ground. “Now we clean this.”

He sat her down on a large rock, then slid his hand under her elbow, lifting her injured arm up for closer inspection. “You got lucky,” he said, a slight growl underpinning the words, clearly still bothered that it had happened at all. “It’s not very deep. Won’t need stitches.” He considered her arm for a moment longer, then said, “Right, first thing’s first.” With his free hand, he used his claws to cut her sleeve off at the shoulder.

“Hey!” she cried as he pulled the shorn sleeve carefully down her arm and off her wrist. “These uniforms aren’t cheap, you know! I’m going to have to replace this.”

“It was ripped anyway.”

She pursed her lips, a sullen slant to her mouth. “I could’ve mended it.”

“Tough shit,” he said. “It’ll be in my way, and you don’t need loose threads getting stuck in the wound.”

She couldn’t exactly fault his logic, but she pouted anyway, fingering the sleeve now laying in her lap. Inuyasha bent over to rummage through her backpack. He pulled out the things he remembered seeing Kagome use before—cotton dressings, antiseptic spray, alcohol wipes, gauze. He picked up the package of alcohol wipes, sniffed at it, then made a face. Still, he took out a wipe and began cleaning his hands with it, even taking the time to get under his claws.

Kagome watched him, completely fascinated.

Tossing the used wipe into her backpack, he uncapped the antiseptic spray and held it up to her arm. “Ready?”

Biting her lip, Kagome nodded.

He sprayed the length of her arm, thoroughly coating the cut and the surrounding skin. She tensed up, and released a soft hissing breath. He frowned and mumbled, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replied. “Just stings.”

He used a piece of cotton dressing to wipe off the skin around her cut. His hands were so gentle, his fingers exerting a barely-there pressure around her elbow. Each swipe of the cotton was slow and almost cautious.

And the look on his face — Kagome couldn’t tear her eyes away. He was so intent, so focused, and yet there was a quiet, almost serene quality to his attention. She wondered if she’d ever seen him look so absorbed before. Certainly never so absorbed by her, anyway.

Kagome blushed a little at the thought.

Finally, Inuyasha had the wound cleaned to his satisfaction. Selecting two more strips of clean cotton dressing, he placed them carefully along the length of her arm, over the top of the cut. Then, unwinding the roll of gauze, he began wrapping her arm.

When he’d finished, he appraised his work by running a hand along the bandaged portion of her arm.

It shouldn’t have felt like a caress, Kagome thought, and yet…

Face heating up, Kagome coughed. Startled out of his concentration, Inuyasha shot her a swift glance. Noting the pink in her cheeks, and the way she kept looking at his hand where it still gripped her elbow, Inuyasha flushed. Abruptly dropping her arm, he took a big step back and shoved his hands into his sleeves.

“T-there. Don’t have to worry about your pathetic human body getting infected now.”

She couldn’t help but smile at his flustered frown, the way his ears kept twitching atop his head. “Thank you, Inuyasha,” she murmured, resting her hand on her bandaged arm.

He flicked an ear back at her. She didn’t expect him to respond, so was surprised when she heard a quiet “You’re welcome” drift over to her.

It was, Kagome thought, a wonderful moment.

Until Inuyasha glanced over to where he’d left Tetsusaiga impaled in the ground. And finally registered the thick layer of slime oozing down its blade.

It had pretty much gone downhill from there.

Leave it to a swamp demon to totally ruin a good moment.

Now safely on the outskirts of the swamp—Inuyasha hadn’t wanted to stay there a moment longer, not even to clean Tetsusaiga—the hanyō was glaring at his slimed sword as though it was flipping him the middle finger. His glower was beginning to take on a suspiciously sulky edge.

Poor guy. Sighing and casting her gaze to the side, she noticed her backpack sitting beside her. She blinked. Wait…

“Inuyasha,” Kagome called.

He was still glowering at his sword, jaw tightly clenched.

“Inuyasha,” she said again, injecting the word with a cheery lilt to get his attention.

He shifted his glare to her. “Not now, woman.”

“But—”

“Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Doing what?”

“Thinkin’!”

“Hm,” she intoned, “so you don’t want help cleaning off Tetsusaiga, then?”

“What the hell are you—” His invective was cut off when Kagome tossed him the package of alcohol wipes.

He caught it easily, eyebrows lifting as he stared at it. “What…”

“The alcohol in the wipes should help break up that sticky stuff. Theoretically, anyway.” When he looked at her, she shrugged. “It’s gotta be better than scraping it against a tree, right?”

Inuyasha hesitated, glanced at his sword. Without looking at her, he took out a wipe and began rubbing it against the side of the blade. After several long moments, he pulled it away to reveal a small clean patch of steel.

Kagome beamed.

“Erm,” Inuyasha mumbled, darting a quick look her way. He applied the alcohol wipe to the blade again, rubbing away at the slime. Without looking at her, he said quietly, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Inuyasha.”

________________________________

-

Loyal

-

He stood at the door of Kaede’s hut, his head bowed.

“I’m sorry.”

He aimed his voice over his shoulder. To her, where she sat inside by the hearthfire. Her heart wrenched in her chest at the defeated ache in his voice.

“I know,” she whispered.

He lingered there a moment longer, clawed hand gripping the doorframe tightly. “Kagome, I… I’m…”

“I know,” she said again. “Go. You should see her.”

His knuckles turned white against the wood, but he nodded.

Taking a step out past the door, he halted long enough to say, “I’ll be back, Kagome. Just… trust me, all right?” Then he was gone.

She knew. And she waited for him.

________________________________

-

Gentle

-

Kagome woke with a frightened gasp, disoriented in the dark. Panting, she stared up at the starry sky and tried to reacclimate to reality.

“Oi.”

Jerking up to her elbow, she looked across the glowing embers of their earlier campfire and saw Inuyasha sitting there, holding his sheathed sword in the crook of his elbow, watching her with a frown.

“Inuyasha,” she whispered. “You startled me.”

“You were lookin’ pretty startled already. Smelled it, too.”

“Oh,” she replied, plopping back down onto her sleeping bag. She took a deep breath to settle her heart rate. “Yeah. I had a nightmare.”

She heard him shifting around. “About what?”

“Oh, um…” She took another, smaller breath and closed her eyes. “Nothing really important.”

A beat of silence. More shifting, the soft rustle of cloth. Then his voice, much closer. “Tell me,” he said.

She opened her eyes and saw him above her. He’d moved to sit right next to her, his thigh almost brushing the crown of her head. She could see his face so clearly now, the soft play of firelight warming his features. And he was looking down at her with concern, eyes nearly gilt in the dim light.

There could be no resistance to that look. “I dreamed,” she said slowly, “that I was stuck somewhere dark. Enclosed. And I was… alone.” She curled onto her side, drawing her knees up to her chest. “I couldn’t get out. I called for help, but nobody could hear me. Nobody came. I was just…”

She swallowed thickly and tried again. “I was just alone in the dark.”

She waited, listening to the soft snap of the dying embers.

Then she felt fingers slide into her hair, combing gently through the strands.

“It won’t happen,” rumbled his voice above her, his fingers weaving through her hair again and again. “You’re safe, Kagome. I promise.”

Taking another deep breath, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back into his touch. “Say… say it again.”

His fingers paused in her hair. Moved to graze along her cheek, down to her jaw, until he had her face cradled in his hand.

“You’re safe with me, Kagome,” he said. “I’ll protect you. I’m not going anywhere.”

It was like he’d taken something heavy off the very center of her chest. She could breathe again.

She placed her hand over his, smiled for him. “I know. And I’ll protect you too, okay?”

His mouth tugged up in answer. He ran his thumb across her lip, tracing her smile. “I know,” he said.

[cobaincreates]

touch pt. 3

warnings: swearing, smut, oral (female receiving), 18+

count: 4k+

final part of touch! thank you so much for reading!

— — —

“just get the silver one with the straps. i think the purple is a bit too close on the magenta side.”

“i can wear my heels with this one.” sarah agreed, turning her hips. “do you still have those silver earrings from work? the long, dangly ones?”

“i think so, yeah. i’ll bring them over later.” you nodded at your phone screen, watching sarah fiddle with the dress she had on. the lighting from the fitting room made the dress look darker than it really was in the picture she originally sent you.

“what’s kie trying on?” you asked just as a notification popped up at the top of your screen.

rafe:

meet me on dock @ noon?

your stomach twisted as a smile immediately graced your lips. you quickly swiped out of the facetime session, hoping sarah didn’t see, as you went to reply.

“i think she’s looking for a pair of jeans she saw the last time we came. the ones with the stitched back pockets.” sarah said.

okay :), you sent.

you were met with the ceiling when you went back to facetime, staring at a small orb reflecting from the light.

“hopefully she finds them,” you said and checked the time again as you started to think about changing out of the pajamas you were still in.

you had the day off today, which so far had amounted to you skipping out on a shopping trip with sarah and kiara and settling for being lazy around an empty house. it wasn’t so bad, but you were ready to get a move on, rafe’s text motivating you.

“john b’s calling me. i’ll talk to you later?” sarah’s face suddenly appeared on the screen as she picked her phone up, her shoulders now bare. you held a peace sign above your messy bed-ridden hair and tossed your phone aside when you hung up.

it was impossible not to be smiley and giddy as you scoured your dresser for clothes to wear. who could blame you when you’d spent nearly every night this week staying up late to text back and forth with rafe. it felt like you were dreaming, like you were living in an alternate universe where you actually got something you wanted. a month ago, you never would’ve guessed that you’d be getting ready to meet up with rafe, much less be fooling around with him.

it was difficult to describe how you felt about it. obviously, you were happy and bubbling with excitement, so much so that you thought you were going to throw up anytime you reminisced on the time spent with him. you tried not to dwell on the fact that you were technically sneaking around with him, but it had only been a few times so did it really constitute as such? you knew you had to tell sarah; the only thing stopping you being that you just weren’t sure when a good time would be.

when you had gotten home the other day from the marsh, you quickly closed yourself in your room. there was no reason to hide the grin within the privacy of your own space, so you let it stay there, your cheeks hurting so much by the time you went to sleep. you couldn’t believe you’d finally kissed rafe and you even caught yourself pressing your lips together, trying to trap the sensation of it there, and closing your eyes. 

and rafe finally getting a taste of you? fuck, it was perfect.

back in your room, you quickly finished getting ready. as you sprayed some perfume just for the hell of it, you thought about where you were going if he wanted to meet on his dock. you tried to picture him waiting for you. would he smile when you were too far away to see it? would his skin tingle with vibrant energy, just waiting to touch you? you swore you felt that same sensation every time you thought of him.

by the time you pulled up to tannyhill and grew closer to the house, you spotted him patiently waiting on the dock. his dad’s boat was there, rocking ever so slightly in the water. rafe looked up at the sound of your car and you parked it beside his truck, a fast-approaching heat spreading up your neck at his open windows. it was like they were encouraging you to have the thoughts of being in the back seat.

you only brought your keys with you as you got out, your phone sitting in the cup holder along with a few receipts you’d been meaning to throw out. rafe watched you as you walked over the grass and toward the wooden planks of the dock. he squinted an eye shut to watch you and you wanted to tell him that that was what the hat on his head was for, if only he turned it around. instead, you smiled at your feet.

“where is everyone?” you said over the few yards you hadn’t closed yet between you. your feet brushed over the planks, going down the small slope to where rafe was standing at the back of the boat.

“ward is out of town,” rafe said, lifting his chin a bit. “rose is doing whatever rose does with her girlfriends, wheezie is on the computer, but she’s leaving soon.” you came to a stop a couple steps away from him, fiddling with the keys in your hand. “and sarah is with kie today, which i’m sure you already knew,” he smiled at the end, like he was satisfied to have you all to himself.

“mmm,” you hummed humorously. “are you taking me out?” you asked, jutting your chin to the yacht.

rafe looked over, giving you time to run your eyes quickly down his chest and lower half. you adored the blue button up he had on, the sleeves rolled up his forearms. wasn’t he hot?

“we can’t exactly go anywhere since ward would kill me,” he looked back at you, smirking, “but i figured we could hang out here.”

“hang out?” you smiled, biting the inside of your lip slightly and tilting your head.

he nodded, his hand slipping from his pocket and extending out to you. you stared back at him as a familiar feeling pooled in your lower abdomen, one you’d felt many times around him. you never wanted it to go away, and maybe it was ridiculous to think in such a way, but you never wanted to feel it for anyone else.

pushing your keys into one hand, you reached out for his and held on. he held it firmly as he turned and went to the back platform to step onto. you followed all the way inside, feeling the cooler atmosphere in the shade. it didn’t look any different than the last time you’d been on it, just tidied up a bit more.

you set down your keys on the dining table and turned your back to lean against it. rafe was already watching you curiously.

“are you going to come over here?” you weren’t sure where it came from, but you couldn’t help yourself from asking.

he broke out into a smile and stepped closer until his feet were in front of yours. you laughed, almost nervously, and let your eyes trail up his form. stopping at his torso, you put your hand out to touch one of the buttons on his shirt. he touched your waist, causing you to breathe in shakily. he shuffled closer, your hand now pressed against his stomach and spreading a warmth up your arm. you could see his forearms flex for just a split second.

“i’ve been having a lot of fun with you, you know.” he said.

“have you?” you smiled.

you let your eyes resume their trail up his chest, gliding over the hollow of his neck, skimming his jaw. finally, your eyes connected with his.

“yeah, i have.”

“sneaking or fooling around?” you asked, moving your arms to circle around his neck. your chest pressed to his, nearly having you breathe deeper as your shirt exposed a sliver of your stomach. rafe could feel it, his palms warm over your skin.

“mostly the fooling around part.” he said proudly, holding back a smile as if it would scare you.

you had to admit that’s what you’d been enjoying too. fuck, there had been nothing more thrilling than having rafe cameron between your legs, in his truck, with no one around. it wasn’t like you to sneak around, and while it had been fun, you knew sarah needed to know.

you hummed, looking up at his hat and teasingly taking it off to place upon your own head. he brushed his newly disheveled hair then smiled down at you, his head slightly tilting. you wondered if you looked as good as he did in the hat.

“do you think sarah would kill me if she knew?” you asked seriously, not wanting to put a damper on the mood, but it had been something on your mind lately.

“no, she’d probably kill me.” he stated.

you laughed, glancing out the door to the bow of the boat, knowing he had to be right. “i have to tell her,” you sighed, imagining it for a moment. you didn’t want her to be upset.

but you had known sarah for so long that you knew in your heart she wouldn’t be mad at you. she couldn’t. if anything, she might be a little weirded out, but she would embrace it, just like you embraced john b. it had been so weird, but so right for them to get together. maybe she’d feel the exact same way about you and rafe. then again, you and rafe weren’t dating, were you?

“i’m having fun with you too,” you said, quieter this time as if another person might’ve been on the boat with you.

you looked back up at him, searching his eyes. you weren’t sure why you suddenly felt so scared, so anxious for saying that aloud. he had already admitted the same thing, so what was there to be afraid of?

a soft gasp fell from your lips as rafe pulled you closer, his hand slipping over your bottom. his eyes seemed to darken, although you couldn’t exactly tell if it was from his face moving closer. either way, it added to the pooling in your abdomen.

“sucking my dick or me eating you out?” he asked, his voice laced with lust.

you couldn’t help the blush sparking in your cheeks, heating your skin up faster than if you were to sit in front of a fire. you opened your mouth to answer him, instead watching as he disappeared and moved to your jaw. his mouth was warm and slick over your skin. you slipped your eyes closed and tightened your hold around his shoulders. god, you didn’t want him to stop.

“both,” you remembered to say, answering his question.

rafe squeezed at your ass, simultaneously moving your hips closer. you let out a breath when you brushed against him. he moved from your jaw then and found your lips.

“i thought we were just hanging out?” you teased, continuing to kiss him back in between the words. he was insatiable at the moment, never once letting you get too far away.

“we can if that’s what you want.” his breath was hot and growing heavy by the second. you smiled at the double meaning of his reply and pulled away slightly to shake your head. fuck no, you didn’t want to just hang out.

dropping your hands to the table behind you, you lifted yourself up and sat before tugging him in between your legs. you locked him in place with your thighs and reached up to connect your lips again. he obliged, running his tongue along your bottom lip in question. you happily allowed him access, making a small noise as you felt the pooling seep to your undies now.

his hands settled on your thighs for a little, gliding against your skin and sending shivers in each direction. you pushed your chest against his, wanting nothing more than to touch him, to feel him, to have his hands everywhere on your body. you nearly groaned in agony just wanting to ask him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. but it wasn’t long before he brought a hand up your side and rested over your breast. it was so warm and cupped you so nicely that you contemplated just letting it stay there, but your arousal told you differently.

pulling away, you managed to take your shirt off fast enough that you should’ve won the world record. you knocked rafe’s hat off while doing so, hearing it fall to the table behind you.

“fuck,” rafe swooned over your exposed chest.

he slipped an arm around your lower back, pulling you closer to the edge of the table and simultaneously against his bulge. you moaned and arched into his hand on your breast again, his grip gently kneading over your bra. what would his lips feel like there? you almost wish you could’ve found out the other day in the truck, but this…this was better.

feeling rather curious, or just very horny, you decided to rub your hips into rafe’s, feeling how hard he was. you felt the muscles in his back turn to steel, the noise against your lips contradicting it. his hand dropped from your breast to join his other at your lower back and you reveled in the way he gripped you tighter against his own body.

“fuck, i want you rafe, please.” you said, feeling the throbbing in your lips from kissing so much. you felt it just as much behind your shorts, your undies were practically drenched. you were so wet and you didn’t want to wait anymore for him to know it.

“i-i want you too,” he panted, loosening his grip.

he was very reluctant to pull away, to lose touch of you, but he was quick and excited as he pulled his shirt off, ripping some of the buttons. it made you laugh, your chest heaving for breath as you watched. he reached for your shorts next, moving fast and taking them off with your underwear at the same time. you didn’t mind, drawing your lip between your teeth, lifting your hips as you watched him do so. he pushed his bottoms off, fishing in his pocket for a condom he cleverly packed.

you drank in the sight of him, your thighs clenching together at the sight of his arousal and the dark curls surrounding him. for a second it felt like you shouldn’t be looking, that this was too private and not meant for your eyes, but once you looked up at his face and took in the way he was doing the same exact thing to you, you melted.

“you’re fucking pretty, you know that?” he said as he came back in between your legs, pushing your hair out of your eyes, and giving you a firm kiss.

“seems like you tell me a lot.” you answered and reached out to touch him gently. he sucked in a breath as your hand wrapped around him, your fingers registering that lovely vein again.

you could probably stare at your hand all day and revel in that vein, but instead you lifted your head and attached your lips to rafe’s neck. his hands went behind you so he could open the packet and it probably would’ve taken him a shorter amount of time if you weren’t sucking a mark into his skin and slowly rubbing him. he moaned lowly before getting the packet open successfully. you spent a few more seconds on his neck, then licked over the spot and pulled away.

rafe’s hand came over your wrist. he squeezed lightly then pulled your hand to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to your palm. he held your hand for a moment while he leaned in to press a kiss to your mouth. “can i taste you first?”

“o-okay,” you nodded quickly. “yeah.”

you practically reeled as he crouched down to his knees in front of you and brought a leg over his shoulder. you moved to the very edge of the table, having a slight thought of falling completely off, but you had a feeling rafe would catch you or you’d both laugh it off.

those thoughts completely disappeared as rafe put his mouth on you. you pulled a lip between your teeth, watching him as he did.

“fuck, you’re so wet for me.” he noted and gripped your thighs before licking a long stripe up your folds.

one of his hands slipped from your leg and you wondered what he was doing for a second, before you saw the muscles flexing in his shoulder. that got you even hotter, knowing that he was touching himself while having his mouth on you. you nearly couldn’t think straight as he licked you again. he dipped into your entrance and you swallowed a whimper when he decided to leave you like that.

you watched him stand back up and lick his lips as he rolled the condom on, your stomach flipping and rolling in anticipation. you swallowed thickly and looked up at rafe when he was ready, his hand gentle as it appeared on your hip.

“are you ready?” he asked in a deep breath. “if you want to stop, just tell me, okay?”

“okay,” you nodded with a small smile.

you spread your legs wider and looked down at the same time as rafe so you could watch him. you breathed slowly to relax, watching as he guided himself to your entrance and slowly moved inside of you. your mouth fell open as a result, your arms nearly giving out. he opened you up the more he slid in, his palm on your thigh pressing more and more until he was completely inside.

“s-shit,” you panted and let your head fall back for a moment.

you breathed, closed your eyes. you tried to remember everything. you wanted to remember everything about this moment, about what it was like to have rafe inside of you. christ, you’d been in this same spot a week ago, daydreaming about his damn arms and veins and whole entire being. you’d lusted after him, tasted him, had him taste you, and now here you were. how the fuck did you get here?

you took a deep breath and leaned your head up. rafe’s mouth was open, his grip now like a vice on your thigh.

“fuck, you feel so good,” rafe said. “just like i imagined.”

you nearly whined at that and pressed your thighs into his hips to hold him in place. you licked your lips and pulled his mouth to yours, inviting him to move finally. he pulled his hips back slowly, holding onto you before moving back it. he did it a couple times, trying to get you used to him. fuck, he felt amazing.

rafe set a pace, his hand making a home on your lower back while his other held your leg up behind your knee. you couldn’t get enough of his praises each time he pulled away from you.

“god, you’re perfect,” he moaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth. “you fit so nicely around me, baby.”

you also couldn’t get enough of that damn pet name. it sounded even better falling from his lips in this exact moment.

“you’re taking my cock so well.”

with that praise you couldn’t help the way you fluttered around him, squeezing him tightly and causing both of you to moan. he almost lost his rhythm for a moment but got it back as he kissed the corner of your lips down to your jaw. you kept your eyes closed, you found it easier so you could focus on just feeling him.

he pressed kisses down your neck, stopping at a few places to nip. it tickled you and aroused you at the same time, if not more. a minute later, he found his way to your breast, your back arching again to push into his mouth. his tongue appeared, flicking over your nipple.

“rafe,” you moaned louder than before and tightened your legs around him as you felt that coil wind up. “go f-faster.”

he groaned against you, the vibrations traveling all the way down to your core. he picked up the pace and groped you now, giving your breast a squeeze while his tongue flicked again. his teeth skimmed over it before he bit down gently, making your hand fly to his hair to keep his head where it was.

his thumb appeared on your clit and you had a feeling that he was about to completely ruin you. his mouth popped off of you and he leaned in for a kiss, his lips wet and swollen. wrapping an arm around his shoulders, you cried out as he grabbed a tight hold of your hip and picked up the pace, your skin starting to smack. you felt yourself squeeze around him as his tongue played with yours and it was almost too much that you had to pull away from the sensation.

“holy— f-fuck. rafe, i'm s-so close.”

“you gonna come for me?” his breath blew across your face, overly warm and heavy. “come for me. i want to feel you come on my cock, baby.”

his thumb timed up with his hips now, making your eyes prick with tears as you squeezed them shut tightly. you gripped rafe’s shoulder, trying to hold onto something as you felt it coming.

“that’s it, come on. i got you.” he coaxed you through it so gently that it made you want to sob.

instead, you cried out as you reached your climax, feeling yourself pulse and squeeze around rafe as you came over him. your whole body twitched and tensed as rafe kept circling your clit, helping you through it. you moaned lowly from your chest, your head falling backward and your eyes relaxing. you had no idea rafe was so close behind until his forehead fell to yours and his thrusts slowed. he pulled out and thrusted hard, doing that a few times until he came undone too. you felt him pulse inside of you, emptying into the condom in spurts. you wished you could taste it again.

you drew your face into his neck, still gripping his shoulder. your palm was sweating against the table behind you and you wondered how you lasted so long holding yourself up the whole time. your heartbeat gushed less in your ears as the minutes went by and your body relaxed against rafe’s. you still felt so full, wanting to keep him there longer.

pressing a kiss to that hollow between your neck and shoulder, rafe rubbed your back soothingly. “you did so good, baby.”

you hummed into his skin then pulled away to brush his hair and kiss him softly. “thank you,” you said quietly, not exactly for the compliment.

you made a noise close to a whine when rafe moved out of you. you knew he had too, watching as he pulled the condom off and tied it closed. he went to the trash bin in the kitchen to toss it while you reluctantly moved off the table. you slid, looking back to see a small mess you made with rafe on the surface.

just when you were about to ask rafe for something to clean it up with, he came back with a rag already in his hand. he held it out to you and you smiled, knowing he got it for you. you cleaned between your legs than folded the rag a couple times before wiping the table clean.

rafe’s hand came to your sides, caressing softly over your skin. you smiled at his chest, touching his arms and warming up at the thought of what you two had just done. he pulled you closer just to hold you, his hands roaming to your back. it was comforting to have the silence to touch each other, to just be for a few quiet moments.

“as much as i would love to just stand here with you, i'm a little paranoid that someone can easily see in here.” you said after a while, looking right at the open door to the back deck of the boat.

“maybe you should’ve thought about that before we fucked on the table.” rafe said and you could hear the stupid grin on his face.

you nudged him away jokingly as you laughed, but he switched to a serious look when he tugged you back by the hips. you swallowed as you felt him against your thigh, nearly ready to go again. you looked up at rafe, biting your lips together to keep the grin at bay.

“do you want to go inside?” he smiled softly, glancing down at your lips.

“yes,” you nodded.

you pulled away to pull your clothes on. rafe teased you with your undies, holding them out for you to take, then snatching them out of reach. you jabbed him in the side until he gave them to you, a teasing grin on his face.

your shirt settled around you and you looked at rafe just as he caught your wrist and tugged you closer. his lips connected with your cheek and he hugged you against him, warm and solid. it was familiar, something you didn’t think you’d be able to say about him. you looped your arms around his shoulders and hugged him back.

“what?” you asked when you pulled away, finding another dumb smile on his face.

“think we could do this again sometime?” he searched your eyes, glancing down at your lips.

you laughed and rolled your eyes, knowing that’s exactly what you were about to do once you got inside the house. why would he ask such a silly thing?

“of course,” you said anyways before pushing him away to get your keys.

you headed inside with him, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. you wondered how you looked, walking into tannyhill with him. you knew by the smile on your face that you were happy, and you guessed that he was too by the way he was holding you against him.

“wheezie?” rafe shouted into the house as he closed the door behind you two, his hand clasped tightly around yours.

silence followed his voice as you looked around the entryway, trying your best to hear for wheezie’s movements, or anybody’s voice. coast clear, you wanted to say but rafe beat you to it.

“fuck yes,” he sighed happily and pulled you by the hips to him. you laughed against his lips, kissing him back as you kicked your shoes off.

the next few seconds were filled with stumbling up the stairs like two drunks, pausing every so often just so rafe could kiss you, rafe making grabby hands at you and hardly letting you go. it’s a wonder how you even made it up the stairs. you giggled at him once you got into his room, him quick to toss his shirt to the floor, and closed the door.

—

“hello?”

your head snapped to rafe beside you, who was still working on catching his breath. sarah was home and you immediately panicked as you sat up.

“anybody home?” she called again, sounding so sweet like she was.

“up here!” rafe shouted, bare ass as can be and making your jaw go slack.

you smacked his thigh, the sound cracking sickeningly, before you scrambled off the bed to pull your clothes on.

“stop hitting me,” he laughed and lifted himself up to watch you stumble putting your shorts on.

“fuck off!” you whispered as if you had a chance at avoiding the impending situation. you pulled your shirt on roughly, completely forgetting a bra as you walked out of rafe’s room.

you managed to close his door completely and meet sarah at the top of the stairs. she looked up at you, surprised, carrying a few shopping bags.

“hey?” she greeted. “i could’ve sworn i heard my brother instead.”

oh beautiful, sweet, smart sarah. was there any way out of this? 

“i need to tell you something.” you said quickly and bit your lip anxiously.

sarah lifted an eyebrow at you, searching your face. you took an unsteady deep breath in. she won’t be mad, she won’t be mad, she won’t be mad. there was no way you could postpone this. this had to be done now otherwise you’d never forgive yourself. it’s so simple! you just have to say the words, just admit it. sarah, listen, i'm sl—

“you forgot this.” rafe’s voice came from behind you, making your stomach drop and sarah’s eyes completely divert over your shoulder.

turning slowly, you were absolutely mortified to see him holding your bra so comfortably. and he looked so proud too. god, you were going to kill him. that’s it, you were going to kill him. well, it had been nice while it lasted.

“oh my god,” you and sarah said at the same time.

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[warrioreowynofrohan]

Today in Tolkien - October 6th

This is the night of the attack at Weathertop, when Frodo is stabbed with the Morgul-blade.

In the morning they found, for the first time since they had left the Chetwood, a track plain to see. They turned right and followed it southwards. It ran cunningly, taking a line that seemed chosen so as to keep as much hidden as possible from the view, both of the hill-tops above and of the flats to the west. It dived into dells, and hugged steep banks; and where it passed over flatter and more open ground on either side of it there were lines of large bolders or hewn stones that screened the travellers almost like a hedge.

Aragorn tells the hobbits that the path was made by the men of Arnor to access their forts along the walls when they were fighting Angmar, but that long before they had a great watch tower called Amon Sûl on the summit of Weathertop, and there Elendil watched for the coming of Gil-Galad in the days of the Last Alliance. Sam sings a portion of the song of Gil-galad that Bilbo translated.

It was already mid-day when they drew near the southern end of the path, and saw before them, in the pale clear light of the October sun, a gre-green bank, leading up like a bridge on to the northward slope of the hill. They decided to make for the top at once, while the daylight was broad. Concealment was no longer possible, and they could only hope that no enemy or spy was observing them. Nobody was to be seen moving on the hill. If Gandalf was anywhere about, there was no sign of him. On the western flank of Weathertop they found a sheltered hollow, at the bottom of which there was a bowl-shaped dell with grassy sides. There they left Sam and Pippin with the pony and their packs and luggage.

On the top of Westhertop they find the sign Gandalf left three days ago, and Aragorn interprets it. The rocks and grass are all scorched with fire from Gandalf’s fight with the Ringwraiths. Aragorn says he expects it will be at least 14 days from here to the Ford of Bruinen. The fact that they still manage to make that time even after Frodo is severely wounded - they reach the Ford of the 20th - is impressive on the part of them all. Frodo sees black specks on the road, two coming from the east and three from the west; Aragorn agrees that these are Black Riders, and they conceal themselves and go back dien the hill. Sam and Pippin find a Ranger camp, but there are also footprint of other boots from a day or two ago. Aragorn agrees with Sam that he dies not like the dell they are in, but there is no time to find anywhere better before nightfall. They make a fire as a defence, and at night Aragorn tells them old tales, including the Tale of Tinúviel. I wonder if, in Aragorn saying that the ending of that tale is not known, Tolkien is poking fun at his unfinished manuscript of the poetic Leithian.

Shortly after Aragorn finishes the story, the moon rises, and they see and sense the Ringwraiths outside the dell. The Ringwraiths approach, and Frodo under their influence puts on the Ring; what he sees of the Ringwraiths is matched by the movie depiction very closely. Frodo is stabbed by the Witch-king. Aragorn orders them to put Frodo by the fire, then disappears for some time, reawakening Sam’s suspicions; when he returns, Sam draws his sword and stands over Frodo. Aragorn has been trying, without success, to find out why the Ringwraiths have left rather than attacking again; he is very concerned by Frodo’s account, and then takes Sam aside and tells him he concludes that Frodo’s wound is intended to place him under the Ringwraiths’ control. Aragorn goes off to find athelas, which is uncommon and little-known in the North.

Frodo feels pain from the Morgul-wound on the same day in the two following years. One year later, he and the other hobbits and Gandalf have just left Rivendell the previous and are crossing the Ford of Bruinen:

When they came to the Ford of Bruinen, he halted, and seemed loth to ride into the stream; and they noted that for a while his eyes appeared not to see them or things about them.

“Are you in pain, Frodo?” said Gandalf quietly as he rode by Frodo’s side.

“Well, yes, I am,” said Frodo. “It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today.”

“Alas! there are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured,” said Gandalf.

“I fear it may be so with mine,” said Frodo. “There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same. I am wounded with knife, sting, tooth, and a long burden. Where shall I find rest?”

Gandalf did not answer.

Then, a year later, in Bag End:

One evening Sam came into the study and found his master looking very strange. He was very pale and his eyes seemed to see things far away.

“What’s the matter, Mr. Frodo?” said Sam.

“I am wounded,” he answered, “wounded; it will never really heal.”

But then he got up, and the turn seemed to pass, and he was quite himself the next day. It was not until afterwards that Sam recalled that the date was October the sixth. Two years before on that day it was dark in the dell under Weathertop.

This is also the day that the story ends, the day that Sam returns to Bag End from the Havens.

The three companions…spoke no word to each other until they came back to the Shire, but each had great comfort in his friends on the long grey road. At last they rode over the downs and took the East Road, and then Merry and Pippin rode on to Buckland; and already they were singing as they went.

I only just noticed this on this reread; and I find it particularly moving. Merry and Pippin do not feel any special need of silence themselves; soon after they part from Sam they are singing. But they recognize, without anything needing to be said, that Sam needs silence in companionship; and they give him that, though the whole of a week-long journey together (Frodo departed from the Havens on Sept 29th), and it is a great comfort to them all. (And for someone like Pippin, who is not particularly noted for his tact, it also shows how he’s grown over the course of the story.)

But Sam turned to Bywater, and so came back up the Hill, as day was ending once more. And he went on, and there was yellow light, and fire within; and the evening meal was ready, and he was expected. And Rose drew him in, and set him in his chair, and put little Elanor upon his lap.

He drew a deep breath. “Well I’m back,” he said.

The final thing that I think we’re supposed to draw from this ending being on Oct 6th, the anniversary of Weathertop, is to conclude that by this time Frodo has reached Eressëa, and this year will no longer be pained by his old wounds.